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okay. Adam Lambert’s American Music Awards performance was totally gay. literally. he ground his peen in one dude’s face and ground his tongue in another man’s mouth. pretty gay. that’s fine with me, but i recognize that there’s a big potential for backlash here, as there are a lot of people in this country who are not fine with gay shit.
as of yet, i haven’t heard any outrage beyond a few nameless twitterers who referred to it all as an ‘abomination.’ so i thought i’d take a preemptive strike and comprise a short list of other AMA moments more deserving of your outrage, in no particular order.
happy friday, yall!
i was in the car with my homie today when Mary Mary’s ‘God in Me’ came on. i started bankhead bouncin inside myself cause i forgot how much i loved this song. it definitely knocks! (do ppl still say that?)
the bad thing is that it may knock (if people still say that) a little too much. i have this condition where when i hear a good beat, my back involuntarily arches & my hips start rolling without my consent. that’s not exactly the behavior you want to be exhibiting when listening to a gospel song, im sure. im not well versed in the Bible, but i don’t recall reading ‘Thou shalt backeth that ass up all the way to thine zipper’ anywhere. correct me if i’m wrong tho.
anyway. enjoy the song & enjoy ur weekends 
it took 12 years, but here we go again! ridiculous moments in r & b part deux! in no particular order, the winners are:
1. Who let your drunk uncles in the studio?? i have no idea how ‘Float On’ by the Floaters came about, but i’m guessing it went something like this:
Larry: ay! ay yall, this where my nephew Ronnie J come in here and do his music shit at…i think he got some beer in a fridge here somewhere down here since Paul done drank up all the everythang.
Paul: you cain’t put that on me, man! you know i don’t drink no beer if it ain’t malted anyway, you hear me??! *pimp runs around the room*
Charles: WHERE THE ‘YAC AT??!
Ralph: shut up, fool! hey Larry, what you say Ronnie ‘nem do in here? music? aw, shit, we could do that! we can make somethin for the ladies, man!
Charles: AIN’T NO MAD DOG OR NOTHIN IN HERE, MAN!
Larry: yeah! say, man, that ain’t a bad idea! there’s this redbone that work at the Snackin Shack i been tryin to get at for the longest!
Ralph: awwww yeah! i’ma get on that microphone, talkin bout some “I’M A SCORPIO! DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEAN, GIRL??!” *inappropriate hip gyration*
Charles: THIS SOME BULLSHIT!!!
gotta hand it to em though. the foot action is *crazy* and this song is better than ANYTHING that trey songz will ever do in the history of his life.
hello, young man. come and let me lay some holy hands on that ass.
and it’s okay. it’s okay that donnie mcclurkin likes dick. really. i don’t give a shit. nobody else does either. well, i guess the portion of his fans/supporters that are conservative anti-gay christians may care and as a result may stop buying his music. and i guess that’s why he’s been caught out in the streets being his hypocritical self again, this time picking on gay youth. personally, im bored with it. i think the things he’s saying abt gay folk are abhorrent, and while im being angry abt it, im also feeling very sorry for him too. there’s somethin tragic at work here that makes him and others like him feel like being gay isn’t okay. and that’s sad.
seeing him do this again is very angering though. earlier today i thought it wld be a good idea to write a song called ‘donnie mcclurkin likes dick,’ because i am one of those people who feels that her inner thoughts, feelings, and emotions are best described in interpretive dance, monologues, or in song form. problem is im not that great a song writer so i can’t compose a sweeping instrumental good enough to bear the weight of my words.
so i stole somebody else’s. i thought you’d be able to hear it better if it was done in ‘to-the-tune-of’ style. disclaimer: this is probably, on some level, blasphemous and offensive as the word “Christian” appears alongside other such words as “dick,” “cock,” and “nigga.” but i don’t care. if u will, stop reading and go away.
if u wont, LET THE PARTY BEGIN! to the tune of lil flip’s ‘game over’ (an oldie, and a generally terrible song, but ‘flip’ and ‘dick’ rhyme too well to ignore)!
sooooooooo. went to check out MJ’s ‘This is It’ last night. i guess i don’t have to worry about spoiling the film because we all know how it ends 
there’s actually not too much to say about the actual film footage. it was what it was: a nicely edited collection of video recorded rehearsals of what was to be his sold out 50 performance show. it is edited in such a way that you feel like you feel like you’re being taken through the show, starting at the first song michael wanted to do and ending with the song he chose to close. mike says that he’s not really singing because he has to save his voice, and it looks like he’s putting forth little effort when it actually comes to singing. but light singing for mike is normal singing for anyone else, and i didn’t realize that he wasn’t really giving it his all til he said so. we get to see what the set design would have looked like and the vignettes that would have been shown throughout the show. it was neat. and it was sad, because u do know how the story ends. its sort of like watching captured video of the first 8 months of a woman’s pregnancy, all the excitement and preparation, all the while knowing that that baby would never ever take its first breath.
i can’t freakin believe this show is still on. how awesome is that. a lot has changed since i was a kid. they done had muppets with HIV and everything, and now they’re prolly teachin kids how to not get molested on the interwebs. amazing. anyway, in tribute, i wanted to do a short list of 5 of my favorite songs that i remember from the show. i was going to do my top 10 faves, but the pressure was just too great
my affinity for funk, r&b & 80s music has clearly dominated the top 3/5s of the list. it starts two traditional faves though:
5. ‘Rubber Ducky’ – Ernie - adulthood taints everything. in listening to this as a 27 year old, i felt some kinda way hearin Ernie sing about findin somethin ’short and yellow and chubby’ in the tub. :-/
4. ‘C is for Cookie’ – Cookie Monster
and then… THE PARTY STARTS!!
3. ‘The Word is No’ – Maria and Gina – lol. remember this?? i mostly remember the chorus. id sing it everytime my mom would tell me no for something. i totally didn’t know how 80s this joint is though! i love it!
also in retrospect, Maria was kinda Claire Huxtableish, wasn’t she?
2. ‘Down Below the Street’ -Take 6 – vintage Take 6!!! i dare you to find somethin about this that kicks ass. dare you. you can’t do it. don’t even try.
i still think of this song when i’m out and about and i see a manhole or sewer drain.
**bonus: The Number 6 and the Alphabet Song, also by Take 6.
1. The Pinball Number Count Song – The Pointer Sisters – im sure nobody is surprised by this takin the #1 spot. this joint is TOUGH.
40 years. Jesus, we’re OLD.
so i was up late for video surfing at youtube for no real reason at all last night. while searching for Boyz II Men’s acapella version of ‘can you stand the rain‘ i came across some pretty cool stuff! these are essentiallyglee club-style renditions of some good classics. warning: the audiences are annoying and the sound aint so great.
here’s a nintendo acapella, complete with interpretive dance:
a Nickelodeon medley(whatchall know about The Beets??):
‘thriller,’ also with interpretive dance:
outkast’s ‘the way you move.’ i will admit to doing my own interpretive dance to this:
& this is my fave of the day, largely because of the singer’s fro and because whoever did this arrangement knows enough abt music to be able to link curtis mayfield’s ‘move on up‘ and kanye’s ‘ touch the sky:’
shout out to ‘glee‘ for makin this shit cool again.
so after finishing up my ridiculous moments in new jack swing post however many years ago, i seem to have become sensitive to all ridiculous moments in music. i noticed very recently that my subconscious has been compiling a working list of ridiculous moments in r&b, all of r&b, not just the 90s, so i sat down intending to do a quick purging. turns out this quick purging is too long for just one post, so i think it’s gonna be a 3-parter as of now. so! without further achoo and in no particular order, let’s get part one started right!
1. chante moore clearly hates her friends. ladies, close your eyes and imagine this. well, read this first, and then close your eyes cause it’d be kind of hard to do the other way around. okay. it’s a friday night. you and some of your girlfriends gather together to have a glass of wine or 4 and do some theraputic venting about your man problems. love is a battlefield, and sometimes even the mightiest of warriors get weary, and tonight, all you wanna do is find some strength in your girls and forget that men even exist for awhile.
i dont think ive laughed this hard at a random snl skit since the pizzeria uno’s pepper joint with bobby moynihan. this is HILARIOUS. jason sudeikis poplockin in the background? the host’s inability to not sing while the biologist is talkin? jason slowin the poplockin down at the end for the sexicutioner? peekaboo street??!! I CANT TAKE IT!!! lol!
here’s the vid that’s on youtube but itll be taken down soon so here’s the hulu link, too.
bravo, keenan. you are a weird motherfucker, and i appreciate that.
soooooo. MTV’s Video Music Awards wrapped about 30 minutes ago, and unless you’re living under a rock or are otherwise not well-versed in Internet, you’ve probably heard about all the controversies. Kanye’s new storming of the stage and the hissyfit he brought with him. Lady Gaga’s torso having it’s period in the middle of her performance. Pink goin’ Cirque du Soleil on all you bastards. since those big events are all the buzz, i won’t spend too much time on them. i do wanna say a little somethin about the show tho. overall, it actually didn’t suck. i didn’t walk away from it feeling that i had totally wasted 5 hours of my life that i will never get back. that’s typically my feeling after this little shindig. and after each BET Award show. and the Source Awards (lmao. remember when the Source had an award show? lol. horrible idea). it was actually a fairly good show… it held my attention beginning to end thanks to the MJ tribute in the beginning and all the stuff that wasn’t supposed to happen/no one expected thereafter. these, in my opinion, were (some of) the highlights of the evening for me:
