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he's got 99 problems but a bitch aint.... oh wait, make that 100 problems.
louisville doesn’t have any pro sports teams. this may or may not be the reason behind why people here are so fanatical about college sports, particularly the university of louisville (that’s who all the cool louisvillians root for.. the lame loser dummies tend to go for UK).
i dunno how many people outside the region have been following this but.. rick pitino, u of l men’s basketball coach, is in some shit that i find pretty hilarisad (hilarious + sad. keep up!). i was told some details abt this scandal last night, and today was slipped a link to a NY Times article about it by a friend. im sharing it because i really want to give you guys a picture of louisville and how it works. this is a good snapshot. this is how we get down in louisville. we have supposedly open marriages and bang broads in the back of our restaurants and get them pregnant and then pay for their abortions and then get extorted for it all. side note: dont you hate it when people do that? put completely random shit on their hometowns? ‘that’s how we do it in nap-town, man! we dont play! we smack people in the face for NOTHIN! that’s just what we do!’ ‘who, me? yeah, i threw a block of cheese at her head. why? because shit, that’s how we do it in milwaukee, yo! we throw blocks of cheese at people, that’s just how we get down!’
anyway. all that happened/is happening to rick pitino at the moment. its all detailed in the article. what isnt in the article, though, is that after the extorting broad in question started getting a little too clingy, she was pretty much passed on to rick’s equipment manager, who subsequently wifed her up. three years later, wifey catches equipment manager doin the grown-up dance with rick pitino’s son, then tries to use that to her advantage. that’s what the streets are sayin, anyway. but i aint one to gossip, so you aint heard that from me! no you havent!
and i just heard on the news that pitino could lose his job over all this due to a morality clause in his contract. lol. what a dummy.
so i caught the latest episode of the bad girls’ club on oxygen, and i think its been the most substantial yet. (editor’s note: i am very ashamed that i just referred to something in the world of trashy reality tv as ’substantial.’ i will have a long talk with God about this at my earliest convenience). the past episodes have pretty much been chock full of screaming, crying bitchfights. this episode contained… screaming, crying bitchfights. BUT! the ones doing the bitchfighting were a bit different this time, and i had the *uber* pleasure of seeing the screamingest, cryingest, bitchfightingest one finally get shut the fuck down and shut the fuck up for once.
before we laugh at that hen though, let’s laugh at this one!
this is the slightly less annoying amber who is uncontrollably attracted to douchebags and drama when it comes to the male sex. so she finds some completely disgusting-faced dick at a bar who has arms the size of fucking tree logs, i swear to bob, who she says she likes because he reminds her of her ex, who was also a douche. okay, whatever. so she takes dude home with her or invites him over one night or something and i mean, this dude REALLY sucks. he just sucks. he looks stupid and says stupid things and looks REALLY stupid and he just sucks. oh, he also lives with his ex-girlfriend. LOL. knowing this, guess who gives it up?
bust it baby amber! wooooooooooo!
that’s not the best part though. the best part comes the next day when she’s surrounded by all the girls venting, pretty much talkin about how she’s too good for him and this that and the other, and their rationale is pretty much ‘you didnt fuck him, so you have all the power.’
BWAAAHAHAHAAA! this broad was all on nightvision camera, face down ass up & everything. but she just nodded her head like ‘yeah, no, of course i didnt give it up!’ even got a blog talkin abt how she kept her legs closed. lol. do you know that this is a tv show?? did no one tell her? does she think that the cameras are actually really big bugs buzzing around or something??
this entry will definitely be filed under ‘LOL @ your life.’ okay, let’s laugh at the other girl now!!
so KC has issues. inferiority issues, acceptance issues. just issues all over the damn place. she’s definitely the most dramatic, the loudest, the angriest. she came up in the house like ‘i’m runnin these little girls around here, fuck that.’ and for the most part she kinda did. she sure didnt last nite tho!
tiffany, the other black girl in the house, has been pretty calm and quiet, and in this episode she explains why: ‘ive been quiet because i dont argue, i FIGHT.’ her patience had apparently been growin short w/ KC and it came to a head when KC completely bitchflipped after her dress ripped while they were out @ a club. lol yo.. this broad gets in the limo and takes her clothes off. all of them. she is ass nekkid in the limo, screamin, cryin, mad at all the girls like they pulled them off her or somethin. tiff tries to get her to stfu and KC–naked, screaming, flailing completely of her own will KC–says:
i’m tired of being the center of attention!
l. o. l. she either doesnt know the definition of ‘irony’ or was too naked to appreciate it that night. but come on. really?
this was pretty much tiffany’s reaction and when they get home, she lets KC HAVE IT. all the other chicks in the house are scared of her, iont care what they say. they scared. tiff went straight back to chicago tho, took her shoes off, squared up and omg.
KC got quiet!
!!
seriously, she made this face:
and then she softly said to tiffany: “goodnight.”
to which tiff replied: I AINT GOIN TO SLEEP, BITCH.
lmao. i loved it. i loved it a little too much.
am i still the only one watching this show??
lol. anyone who knows me knows that im allergic to canadians, but id risk itchy red welts to hug these guys. hilarious! the link in the article posted below didnt work to me, so i’m including youtube audio too.
lol. WHO IS SCREENING HER CALLS??!
Prank Caller Targets Sarah Palin
By CHARMAINE NORONHA
TORONTO (Nov. 1) – Sarah Palin unwittingly took a prank call Saturday from a Canadian comedian posing as French President Nicolas Sarkozy and telling her she would make a good president someday.
“Maybe in eight years,” replies a laughing Palin.
Political Machine: Hear the Prank Call Audio
The Republican vice presidential nominee discusses politics, the perils of hunting with Vice President Dick Cheney, and Sarkozy’s “beautiful wife,” in a recording of the six-minute call released Saturday and set to air Monday on a Quebec radio station.
Palin campaign spokeswoman Tracey Schmitt confirmed she had received the prank call.
“Governor Palin was mildly amused to learn that she had joined the ranks of heads of state, including President Sarkozy and other celebrities, in being targeted by these pranksters. C’est la vie,” she said.
The call was made by a well-known Montreal comedy duo Marc-Antoine Audette and Sebastien Trudel. Known as the Masked Avengers, the two are notorious for prank calls to celebrities and heads of state.
Audette, posing as Sarkozy, speaks in an exaggerated French accent and drops ample hints that the conversation is a joke. But Palin seemingly does not pick up on them.
He tells Palin one of his favorite pastimes is hunting, also a passion of the 44-year-old Alaska governor.
“I just love killing those animals. Mmm, mmm, take away life, that is so fun,” the fake Sarkozy says.
He proposes they go hunting together by helicopter, something he says he has never done.
“Well, I think we could have a lot of fun together while we’re getting work done,” Palin counters. “We can kill two birds with one stone that way.”
The comedian jokes that they shouldn’t bring Cheney along on the hunt, referring to the 2006 incident in which the vice-president shot and injured a friend while hunting quail.
“I’ll be a careful shot,” responds Palin.
Playing off the governor’s much-mocked comment in an early television interview that she had insights into
sacre bleu! ze sarah palin, she iz eh, how you say, eh, dumb as a box of panties! hawhawhawhawhaw!!
foreign policy because “you can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska,” the caller tells her: “You know we have a lot in common also, because … from my house I can see Belgium.”
She replies: “Well, see, we’re right next door to different countries that we all need to be working with, yes.”
When Audette refers to Canadian singer Steph Carse as Canada’s prime minister, Palin replies: “Well, he’s doing fine and yeah, when you come into a position underestimated it gives you an opportunity to prove the pundits and the critics wrong. You work that much harder.” Canada’s prime minister is Stephen Harper.
Palin praises Sarkozy throughout the call and also mentions his wife Carla Bruni, a model-turned-songwriter.
“You know, I look forward to working with you and getting to meet you personally and your beautiful wife,” Palin says. “Oh my goodness, you’ve added a lot of energy to your country with that beautiful family of yours.”
The Sarkozy impersonator tells Palin his wife is “so hot in bed” and then informs her that Bruni has written a song for her about Joe the Plumber entitled “De rouge a levre sur un cochon” — which translates as “Lipstick on a Pig.”
Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama derided his Republican challenger John McCain’s call for change in Washington as “lipstick on a pig,” days after Palin made a lipstick joke at the Republican convention. The McCain-Palin campaign then released an ad implying Obama was calling Palin a pig with that remark.
The caller asks Palin if Joe the Plumber is her husband and adds: “We have the equivalent of Joe the Plumber in France. It’s called Marcel, the guy with bread under his armpit.”
He also tells the Alaska governor that he loved the “documentary” made about her and referred to a pornographic film with a Palin look-alike made by Hustler founder Larry Flynt.
She answers tentatively, “Ohh, good, thank you, yes.”
The callers then reveal the prank and identify themselves and their radio station.
“Ohhh, have we been pranked?” Palin asks. “And what radio station is this?”
Obama’s campaign spokesman Robert Gibbs, commenting on the prank, said: “I’m glad we check out our calls before we hand the phone to Barack Obama.”
Copyright 2008 The Associated Press. The information contained in the AP news report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or otherwise distributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press. Active hyperlinks have been inserted by AOL.
2008-11-01 22:17:40
but come on, lady. you know you in the wrong right here.
Woman Says JC Penny Refused Service Because She is Black
LOS ANGELES — A woman is suing a local beauty salon for what she claims is a blatant act of discrimination.
Brenda McElmore says she went to a JC Penny’s hair salon in Downey two months ago to get her hair dyed and was refused service.
“We don’t do African-American hair.” McElmore said she was told by a receptionist and a manager. McElmore says she was then told to go elsewhere to get her hair done.
McElmore says she faced similar indignities when she was growing up.
“When we were going through town, going through Texas, we would have to ask, “Where is the Black part of town?” “I lived those things,” she added.
In a letter sent to McElmore by JC Penny, the company apologized for her experience, but said that the hairdressers at the salon did not have the proficiencies to perform the services she required, and that they would rather not attempt to do her hair if they cannot perform the service as required.
However, a witness for the plaintiff, who is being represented by Gloria Allred, said that licensed cosmetologists are trained to do hair of customers of every race.
———–
would you trust your fingerwaves, french rolls, & waterfall curls to this lady?
okay. i mean i guess technically, she’s right. they did refuse her service because of her ethnicity. TECHNICALLY. but they didnt turn her away b/c she’s black, they did it b/c they dont know how to do her hair. what they shld have done was tell her flat out ‘we dont know how to do black folk’s hair, but if you want to let us try anyway, we will, but don’t bite our heads off if it comes out shitty/bald/etc.’
but come on now. i dont buy for 2 seconds that line abt all hairdressers being trained to do all hair types. or okay, i can buy that it’s part of their training. but if after that training is over, you work in predominantly white or black salons, how sharp are your hair skills gon be on heads of different textures? i can tell you off top, i am not takin my naps to somebody who hasnt had them at some point in his/her life. i dunno if she’s had that wig plastered to her head for so long that she thinks it’s her natural texture or what, but really. she shld know better.
plus she’s in freaking LA. why she tryna get her hair done at JC Penny anyway?? aint no black hair spots in LA???
so, here’s what happened while i was out watching the phillies eat dirt today:
john mccain, while preparing to appear on the tonight show with david letterman, notices that the economy has a raging teminal case of crotch rot, and decides that he has to do something about it. now. right now, he’s just gotta fix it. so, he cancels on letterman. letterman gets my silver-haired boo keith olbermann to fill in.
letterman is like cool. bully old mccain. good guy.
at some point during the night, letterman gets word that not only did mccain not rush to the airport to cure the economic crotch rot, but his ensure-drinkin ass is being interviewed by katie couric. right down the street.
dave, being the subtle guy he is, exposes the wrinkle little weeble wobble for the ancient liar he is.
please watch this & spread it around like herpes before it gets pulled (thanks to deadline hollywood daily for this).
isn’t that a super dope title idea for Alycia Layne’s reality show? i thoughted of it myself!
speakin of ‘Lycia, there’s more foolishment about: she’s suing her former employer for–you’ll never guess–defamation of character.
right on, sister girl! don’t you let them make an ass of somebody who sends scanty pictures to a married man! don’t you let them strip you of your integrity, oh ye who smacks cops in the face and calls em dykes to boot!
i tell you what, she looked at the entire world and was like ‘arright world, check me out, this is what’s finna happen. im gonna act up at work and be mad when i get fired for it. then ima assault a cop and be surprised when i get arrested for it. THEN, you’re gonna pay my bills cause nobody’s gonna hire a cuckoling cop-beater. and you will like it. nay–you will LOVE it.’
move over, maya angelou. lycia is my hero now.
im gonna go ahead and start that countdown to the reality show. its coming. oh, sweet moses, it’s coming.
wtf tho, larry mendte?! LOL! remember when he was all shocked and sullen when reporting on Alicia fightin that cop in NY? lmao
philly news = better than reality tv
http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/story?section=news/local&id=6178217
PHILADELPHIA (AP) – June 1, 2008 — An attorney representing KYW-TV anchor Larry Mendte says the FBI searched his client’s home in a case involving former co-anchor Alycia Lane — and her attorney suggests that it involves a possible invasion of her privacy.
Mendte’s attorney, Michael A. Schwartz, said FBI agents approached his client Thursday and searched his Chestnut Hill home in connection with “claims made by Alycia Lane.”
“Larry is cooperating fully with the investigators and hopes to promptly reach a resolution of this matter,” he said Saturday night.
Lane’s attorney, Paul R. Rosen, denied that his client had made “any claims involving anyone.”
Channel 3 released a statement to Action news. It says ” late last week CBS 3 became aware of an investigation by the U.S. Attorney’s office regarding anchor Larry Mendte. CBS 3 is cooperating fully with that office in this matter.” The statement went on to say Mendte will not be on broadcasts, pending further investigation.
“The investigation by the FBI and the direction it took was done by the federal government and not by Alycia Lane,” Rosen said. “She was shocked when she learned of any invasion of her privacy.”
The station said it was cooperating fully with the U.S. Attorney’s Office in its investigation involving Mendte.
Mendte, 51, who has been with the CBS-owned station for nearly five years, has won 43 Mid-Atlantic Emmy awards.
Lane was fired in January after she was accused of hitting a New York City police officer the month before. Felony charges against her were later dropped and a judge further reduced the charges in February, agreeing to dismiss them if she stays out of trouble for six months.
—
Information from: The Philadelphia Inquirer, http://www.philly.com
Information from wire reports was used in this story
(Copyright ©2008 by The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved.)
*thanks D!
FLUSH TO JUDGMENT
No joke! Mr. Whipple rescues woman on toilet 2 years
‘She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body’
Posted: March 12, 2008
6:23 pm Eastern © 2008 WorldNetDaily
 |
 Mr. Whipple, portrayed by actor Dick Wilson, was known for his famous toilet paper slogan, ‘Please don’t squeeze the Charmin!’ |
When you gotta go, you gotta go. But sometimes, you don’t wanna come back for a while.
That’s apparently the case of a 35-year-old Kansas woman, whom police say was on her toilet for two straight years, actually becoming stuck to the seat.
“She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body. It is hard to imagine. … I still have a hard time imagining it myself,” Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple told the Associated Press, explaining it appeared her body fat had grown attached to the seat.
The sheriff, ironically, shares the same last name of “Mr. Whipple,” a fictional grocer used in television ads for Charmin toilet paper, often telling shoppers, “Please don’t squeeze the Charmin!”
According to the wire service, police found the clothed woman sitting on the toilet, her sweat pants down to her mid-thigh as if she were using the john. Her legs appeared to have atrophied.
“She was sitting on the toilet and was somewhat disoriented,” Whipple said. “She said that she didn’t need any help, that she was OK and did not want to leave.”
The woman has not been cooperative with authorities, and after initially refusing medical services, she was convinced to be taken to a hospital in Wichita to be examined. She’s now listed in fair condition
“We pried the toilet seat off with a prybar and the seat went with her to the hospital,” Whipple said. “The hospital removed it.”
The woman’s boyfriend called police on Feb. 27 to report that “there was something wrong with his girlfriend,” Whipple said, but never explained why it took him two years to call.
Whipple said the boyfriend had brought the woman food and water for two years and claims he asked her daily to get off the throne.
“And her reply would be, ‘Maybe tomorrow,’” Whipple said. “According to him, she did not want to leave the bathroom.”
Authorities are now presenting the facts of the matter to the county attorney to see if the 36-year-old boyfriend should face any criminal charges.
A neighbor, James Ellis, told AP he had known the woman since she was a child but said he hadn’t seen her for at least six years.
He said she had a tough childhood after her mother died at a young age and apparently was usually kept inside the house as she grew up.
“It really doesn’t surprise me,” Ellis said of the bathroom incident. “What surprises me is somebody wasn’t called in a bit earlier.”
The case is already getting wiped across Internet messageboards, with comments including:
- Maybe she had to go!
- I had Arby’s once and sat on the toilet for what seemed like two years.
- There’s no way that fat white trash sat on that toilet for two [expletive] years without getting up, unless she’s paralyzed. I don’t care if you are retarded or crazy, you are not going to sit without moving for two years and survive. She would have infectious sores like bedsores all over her a–, and probably have horrible back pain just after a few weeks. She wasn’t there for two years straight.
- Did Whipple instruct her, “Please don’t squeeze the Charmin”?
thanks to this guy @ Off the Books for this delicious morsel of information.
according to wikipedia.org:
-he moved to hollywood when he was 16
-he was a writer on nickelodeon’s kenan & kel show
-he has herpes simplex 1.
LMAO. true or not, i think i love the hater that wrote that article.
