so.  im sitting here in my room, watching my big extra super fantastic big ol screen tv when it suddenly explodes, displaying 40 inches of ridiculousness in the form of the commercial i’m about to show you.  before we get to the viewing, let me tell you a bit about the company.

Mo Money Taxes is apparently a tax preparation service.  they seem to have found some level of success, since, according to the website, they have multiple offices pretty much all over the American south, and also some midwestern states.

that being said, let me tell you that this particular commercial features a large white man with green hair yelling phrases such as:  “I’M TOE UP FROM THE FLO UP!”, “BLAME IT ON THE AH-AH-AH-AH-AH-AHKKAHOL!”, “WHERE DEY DO DAT AT?!’” and “CALM THE HELL CALM DOWN!”  it also features an angry man standing and yelling “IT’S FINNA GET REAL UGLY UP IN HERE!’”  ready?

..nope.  you weren’t ready.

guys, there are TONS of these commercials!!  and they are titled shit like ‘neckbones‘ and ‘ma madea goes to jail.’  oh, and let us not forget:  ‘good times.’

but wait!  there’s more!  would u car to see Mr. Green from the first commercial superman these hoes?

i mean… i’m just… like.  what?  what do u say to this?  what do you say?

so i guess its safe to say that r&b is becoming the underlying theme of this blog.  which is fine with me.  as long as asinine people keep stepping into studio, i’m not against discussing where they went wrong.

i got an early christmas gift today when my very good friend donnie gave me the link to a blog full of the most random, dated r&b that i’ve never heard of in my life.  the possibilities contained therein are ENDLESS.  i predict many more discussions on r&b coming from that link alone.  so you may thank him for this.

in no particular order, since they’re all equally ridiculous:

1.  Renaizzance – Intimate Thoughts

first, a question.. why did everybody feel the need to spell shit the wrong way?  ‘hello, ladies and gentlemen, we are Peaches and Cream, only it’s spelled PeichezzZ aynd Kriem beause we’re craft and clever.’  smh.  anyway.

u can’t convince me that that wasn’t done by somebody’s 14 yr old little brother with MS clipart and the first edition of Paint Shop Pro.  don’t it look like an airbrushed Rest in Peace t-shirt? (ps – WHY DO THEY HAVE A BEST OF ALBUM?)

2.  Phinace – In Memory Of

speaking of resting in peace… is this an album cover or an obituary?

Roshan King, Tyrell Jones, Juan’Tre Jenkins, Santonio Washburn and D’Brandon Smith, members of the singing group Phinace, were called to their Heavenly Home after their El Dorado ran into the side of a Waffle House on their way to a gig at Roscoe’s Snackin’ Shack.  Homegoing services will be held at the First Corinthian Leather Baptist Church of Christ and will feature a gospel rendition of their hit “Finess That Lady” as performed by the Holy Twerkers.

3.  Mind – Is That the Way

and speakin of church… somebody call New Bethel and tell them to come get their choir directors.  and wtf is the little cartoon keytar for??

4.  J Gist – R&B Gangster

can someone explain to me how this works?  being an r&b gangster?  in my head, im seeing this J Gist dude breaking out in a song and dance routine in the middle of a robbery.  or singing a ‘gimmie the drugs’ remix of luther’s ‘never too much’ in the middle of a deal (gimmie the drugs Gimmie The Drugs GIMIME THE DRUUUUGS! *duuuuun, dun dun dun DUUN!*).  am i on the right track?  anyone?  bonus points if u can tell me how the hell to pronounce this dude’s name.

5.  Gary & Rogers – Don’t Deny It

Larry Blackmon – codpiece + jheri curl?

6.  Le Gent – Le Gent

it’s the expressions that make this cover so awesome to me.  brown suit dude:  ‘if this goes well, i’ll be able to use this picture on my card when i become a Century 21 agent.’  red suit:  ‘dance break in 5… 4..’ black suit dude:  ‘oh, hello cameraman!  i didn’t see you there!  isn’t this a pleasant surprise!’  yellow suit dude: ‘do you see this?  do you see the color of this suit?  this is a motherfucking mustard yellow suit.  huh?  it’s yellow!  can you believe that??  mustard yellow!!’

7.  MWC – Men with Charm

because nothing says romance like Kroger flowers, dollar store chocolate, champipple, and three greasy faces.

ps – is that Shirley from ‘What’s Happenin?’ holdin the flowers?!

8.  Highland Place Mobsters -1746DCGA30035

so i could talk about what a blatant ripoff of Dru Hill these cats are, or about how REAL mobsters don’t fucking make r&b albums, but i’ve got a more pressing problem:  the album title.  why would u name your album something that no one can pronounce or remember??  ’say man, u wanna go check out that new Highland Place Mobsters album?’  ‘oh yeah, what’s it called again?’  ‘i think it’s one-seven-eight-three-pee-ex… um.. naw its one-seven-two-nine-zee… fuck it, let’s just go get that new Dru Hill.’

that’s not an album title.  looks more like a cheat code.

ps – is that stoney jackson pissed off in those handcuffs in the middle?!

9.  Po’, Broke & Lonely – No Money No Honey

seriously?  this is seriously the name of your group?  Po Broke & Lonely?  ….?  are those your names?  the adjectives that best describe you individually?  is that Po on the left, Broke in the middle and Lonely on the end?

why not just call yourselves “No Reedeeming Qualities” or “Ladies, Don’t Fuck Any of Us?”  poor decisions abound.

okay, this next one i actually did save for the end as our big finish.  ladies and le gents (see what i did there?), i give to you…

10. 1-900 – One Nine Hundred

motherfucking tiger print.  and an actual tiger.  lol.

what do you think the rest of that implied 900 phone number is? i bet it’s probably somethin like 1-900-BABY-OIL or 1-900-NASTY-XTACY.  or 1-900-OH-SHIT-A-TIGER.  im gonna go with the last one.

Caliente from ‘For the Love of Wait a Minute Ain’t That Brandy’s Brother’ looks like Molly Shannon.

its the mouth and nose.  and also the cartoonish ridiculousness that, in Molly Shannon, is purposeful.  in Caliente… not so much.

Where did you find that photo of Skeevy Santa getting his Thomas Jefferson/Strom Thurmond on? (c) miss kate/lite bread

so i recently noticed just how freakin close to christmas we’re getting.  i love christmas.  hands down one of my favorite times of the year.  i love the feeling in the air, the jingle bells and all that jazz, the terrible christmas decorations.  but most of all, i loooooove christmas music!  so, ive decided that from now til christmas, we’re gonna have a christmas bonanza!  all christmas talk, all the time (or at least whenever i get around to updating, lol).  one thing i wanna do is discuss some of my favorite/unfavorite christmas carols individually in a christmas carol spotlight type of feature.  first up, ‘baby, it’s cold outside.’

…i hate this damn song.

i think what makes me angriest about it is that we’ve all been hoodwinked into thinking it such a simple, sweet, clever, cozy little ditty.  oh, yeah.  crank it at your christmas parties.  sing it with your sweet, innocent little children in the car on the way to mee-maw’s house.  choreograph a funny little number to perform at your office christmas party.  let it be known, though, that YOU ARE DANCING TO DATE RAPE.

oh yeah!!!  didn’t even notice that didja??  this is the most date rapinest ass christmas song ever invented!  YOU listen to the song and hear, ‘aw, how sweet, this guy really likes this girl and doesn’t want her to leave, so he’s using the weather as an excuse for her to stay with him!’  *I* hear this song and think, ‘OH MY GOD, THIS MAN IS A PREDATOR.’  he’s pretty much feeding her roofinol the whole song.  it’s shameful.  just look at the lyrics! (male’s part after the dashes)

I really can’t stay – Baby it’s cold outside
I’ve got to go away – Baby it’s cold outside
This evening has been – Been hoping that you’d drop in
So very nice – I’ll hold your hands, they’re just like ice
My mother will start to worry – Beautiful, what’s your hurry
My father will be pacing the floor – Listen to the fireplace roar
So really I’d better scurry – Beautiful, please don’t hurry
Well maybe just a half a drink more – Put some music on while I pour

translation:  him- ‘hey, baby.  you can stay here.  don’t worry.  i am a dependable caretaker.  see?  i’m keeping your hands warm to comfort you and gain your trust. also, DRINK THIS.  ah, do you like the music?  it’s a new record i just bought SERIOUSLY, DRINK THIS.

The neighbors might think – Baby, it’s bad out there
Say, what’s in this drink – No cabs to be had out there
I wish I knew how – Your eyes are like starlight
To break the spell – I’ll take your hat, your hair looks swell
I ought to say no, no, no, sir – Mind if I move closer
At least I’m gonna say that I tried – What’s the sense in hurting my pride?
I really can’t stay – Baby don’t hold out
Ahh, but it’s cold outside

translation:  her- ‘no, really, i need to get going, and i really need you to respect my wishes to OH MY GOD, WHAT DID YOU PUT IN MY DRINK??!’

I simply must go – Baby, it’s cold outside
The answer is no – Ooh darling, it’s cold outside
This welcome has been – I’m lucky that you dropped in
So nice and warm – Look out the window at that storm
My sister will be suspicious – Man, your lips look delicious
My brother will be there at the door – Waves upon a tropical shore
My maiden aunt’s mind is vicious – Gosh your lips are delicious
Well maybe just a half a drink more – Never such a blizzard before

translation:  her- ‘NO MEANS NO!  NO MEANS NO!  WAIT!  wait i feel tingly.  i want to fight you off but my faculties are compromised!  nooooooo!’

him- *unwanted kisses and sexual advances*

I’ve got to go home – Oh, baby, you’ll freeze out there
Say, lend me your coat – It’s up to your knees out there
You’ve really been grand – I thrill when you touch my hand
But don’t you see – How can you do this thing to me?
There’s bound to be talk tomorrow – Think of my life long sorrow
At least there will be plenty implied – If you caught pneumonia AND DIED [editor's note:  holy shit!!]
I really can’t stay – Get over that hold out
Ahh, but it’s cold outside

translation: her- ’seriously, this is wrong.  I DON’T WANT TO BE HERE.  I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS.’

him- ‘BITCH I WILL KILL YOU.’

see?  see what you’ve all been jamming to??  may sweet Baby Jesus forgive you all.

hello, sugar plums!  part of me feels i should apologize for the erratic/sporadic updates as of late.  it’s holiday christmas season time, and my imaginary ADD is kickin in somethin fierce.  but really… things are always erratic/sporadic here, so i guess this isn’t anything new.  nonetheless, i apologize.

now!  given that it’s time to deck them halls and all that jazz, ive been singing and humming christmas songs more and more frequently.  i loooove christmas.  and christmas songs.  they’re so happy and cheerful and fun and heart-warming.  something that i have never ever understood in the history of my 27 years is the existance of sad christmas songs.  why??  why do we need those?  who said that was okay?  how would you like it if somebody busted up in your birthday party and started singing ‘tears in heaven‘ or ‘the drugs don’t work?’  im pretty sure that’s how Jesus feels when yall start with the sad christmas song singin (im sure he feels weird about everybody celebratin his birthday at the wrong time of year, too, but i digress).

i have no idea why people like sad christmas songs.  well, scratch that.. maybe i have a slight idea why.  i am a small, emo girlchild at heart with a penchant for seeing beauty in sad things.  example:  one of my favorite christmas memories of my adult life is being in a bar in the wee hours on christmas eve, like 3, 4 am (which i guess is technically christmas morning), listening to christmas carols and downing vodka & cranberries during a really, really stressful time.  ain’t shit happy about that scene.  but still, there was something really.. cinematic about it, i guess?  cause that’s some shit you see in movies.  and it usually involves a very drunk man in a santa suit sitting at the bar (i didn’t have one of those that night).  and it was fun to people watch and wonder what kind of somber sorrowful things brought the other bar patrons inside on that night.

nah.  i just liked it cause it felt like a movie.  i totally don’t understand sad christmas songs.

anywho, in no purposeful order, a list of songs that will drive me to drink bleach and/or slit my wrists if i so much as hear the opening cords this holiday season.

5.  Someday at Christmas- Stevie Wonder. i love me some stevie.  and i guess this song is supposed to be more hopeful than it is sad.   but there’s just something about this song that keeps it lingering riiiiiiight under the ‘inspirational’ mark.  thinking about and listing all the things that are wrong with the world kind of makes it hard to begin thinking about how great everything will be after all the sucky stuff is gone.  its kind of like catholic churches for me.  all of the catholic churches ive been in (all two of them) have had HUGE, very very graphic depictions of Christ dying on the cross.  in very, very visible spaces.  like, hovering right above the congregation.  i was so distracted.  i was like, how am i supposed to think about the goodness and the glory with Jesus dripping invisible blood right over my head??  this song does the same thing for me.  and the constant repitition of the phrase ’someday’ makes it hard, too.  someday, someday, someday.  someday all the sucky stuff is going to end.  not only is ’someday’ not now–we don’t even know when someday is.  so we’ll be stuck with the sucky stuff for an indiscriminate number of days/years/eternities.  he even stomps out all hope of someday being soon by saying at the end ‘maybe not in time for you and for me/but someday at christmastime.’

merry fucking christmas indeed.

4.  Happy Christmas (War is Over) – John Lennon. y’know?  listening to this song, i get the sneaking suspicion that John Lennon isn’t really all that excited about war being over.  or that war just really isn’t over.  he clearly went to the Stevie Wonder School of Christmas Song Writing and got an A in reminding everybody of how much things really suck.  looking at the title, you expect some kind of joy, right?  and i guess he tries, for what it’s worth.  he does sing, ‘a very merry christmas/and a happy new year/let’s hope its a good one’ and all that.  but i really feel like the following stanza:

And so this is Christmas
For weak and for strong
For rich and the poor ones
The world is so wrong

…really doesn’t belong in a christmas song about war being over.  maybe it’s just me.  if i made a christmas song about war being over?  it would go something like this:

the war is over!
hip hip hooray!
now no one will blow up santa’s sleigh!
this is the best christmas ever!
im so so happy!
let’s go get some barbecue and get busy!

me > john lennon.

3.  Christmas Carol – Skip Ewing. this is one of those christmas songs that literally makes me violently angry when i hear it.  my mother and i have gotten into actual wrestling matches after ive tried to get to the radio to turn it off.  she LOVES this song.  it makes me want to die.  it really makes me want to die.

the song is about a little girl, aged 3 or 4, named Carol who has no parents.  she finds a guy playing santa claus at a mall or something on christmas eve, sits on his lap and asks for someone to take her home for christmas.

oh.  my.  god.  first of all, why is this three or four year old little girl wandering the streets ALONE??!  wtf!  and im sorry, but i feel some kind of way about a little girl sitting on a strange man’s lap and asking him to take her home.  or to find somebody to take her home, whatever.  and true enough, at the end of the song the man goes to find the little girl…i can only HOPE he adopts her and raises her well after taking her to his house.  but still.  too depressing (and child rapey) for my liking.

**note – DID YOU SEE HOW SAD THAT DAMN VIDEO WAS?!  this is what’s wrong with sad christmas music!!!!  it makes people do depressing things like this with their spare time!!!!!!!

2.  Christmas Eve Can Kill You – The Everly Brothers. …holy shit.  i’m just going to put the lyrics here.  they need no further commentary.

The winter's flaking snow is brushing through the pinewood trees
I stuck my hands down deep inside my coat
I think of years ago and half remembered Christmas trees
And faces that still warm me with their glow

The cold and empty evening hangs around me like a ghost
I listen to my footsteps in the snow
The sound of one man walkin' through the snow can break your heart
But stopping doesn't help, so on I'll go

And Christmas Eve can kill you
When you're trying to hitch a ride to anywhere

The icy air I'm breathin' is all that keeps me on my feet
I feel like I've been walking all my life
A car goes running by, the man don't even turn his head
Guess he's busy being Santa Claus tonight

The saddest part of all is knowing if I switched with him
I'd leave him stumblin' ragged by the road
I'd ride that highway to the arms of my sweet family
And forget about the stranger in the cold

And Christmas Eve can kill you
When you're trying to hitch a ride to anywhere

And as I walk I'm singin' to myself, Oh Silent Night
Hoping I can save those other souls
Oh, God forgive the man who drives right by the other man
Have pity on the stranger in the cold

'Cause Christmas Eve can kill you
When you're trying to hitch a ride to anywhere

i refuse to link the actual song here because i cannot and will not be held responsible for your resulting suicide attempts.  you’re welcome.

1.  Christmas Shoes – Newsong. i intentionally saved this song for the number one spot because it is simultaneously the saddest and most infuriating christmas song that i have ever heard in all of my life.  this is another song that my mom and i have come to blows over.  the last time we got into it, i ended up with a vaccuum cleaner cord around my neck (don’t ask).

i fucking hate this song with everything in me.  it’s about a kid out shopping for a new pair of shoes to give to her mother on christmas ever—BECAUSE SHE’S DYING AND HE WANTS HER TO LOOK PRETTY WHEN SHE GOES TO MEET JESUS.  I AM NOT KIDDING YOU.

oh, and at the end of the song?  the guy narrating the song is joined by an entire chorus of children singing about needing shoes for their dying moms.

this song makes me want to put acid in my ears and drown kittens.  NOBODY NEEDS THIS SHIT.

|pic|

i can still remember the day i first stumbled onto those ridiculous pictures of cats with hilarious, grossly spelled and worded captions.  they were quirky.  they were random.  most importantly, they were funny.  now, they kinda suck.  no more surprise buttsecks or politically incorrect costumes or gratuitous harbls.  now they’re just… meh.  too much cute and corny.

whatever.  anyway, in my random internet journey this morning, i don’t know how i stumbled upon this collection of lolcats, but i did, and i cackled my fool head off.  i’m prolly the only nerd who cares but im puttin em up anyway bc this is my house and i will do as i damn please!

this one made the black lit nerd in me giggle extra hard.

anyway.  if u care, more of them are here.

note:  as ive said before, this blog is not about me, really.  but i have shared that i’m currently looking for a job, and i know that i am not alone in this endeavor.  as the result of some recent frustrations i have suffered on the hunt for a job, i thought it may be a good idea to write a letter on behalf of all those searching.  now, we’re addressing professionals here, and as such, this will be a professionally formatted letter–note the proper use of punctuation and full -ing suffixes, used here for the first time ever.  feel free to put your own name in where applicable and send to whomever you deem necessary.

————

Dear Prospective Employers:

Hello; my name is (your name here) and I have recently applied for every job that you have listed on Craigslist, Indeed, Careerbuilder, and all similar sites.  I am an extremely smart, confident, capable college graduate, and I am greatly interested in every job you have available.

I understand and realize that in this economy, the number of those seeking jobs greatly outweighs the number of jobs available.  I do not expect be offered the first job that I apply for.  I do not expect, even, to receive a call from each company that I submit a resume to.  I understand what it’s like out there.  As smart and hungry as I am, there is always someone smarter as smart and perhaps a bit hungrier than I.  This is not the crux of my complaint.  I don’t expect to interview for every position that I apply for.  I know better than that.

What I do expect, however, is some common courtesy and dignity on your part.

If, for example, you email or call me and tell me to expect to be contacted in the near future to schedule an interview?  CALL THE FUCK BACK AND SCHEDULE IT.  Or, if you decide by some nearly unimaginable stretch of the imagination that you have found someone better for the position and that I, thusly, will not need to be interviewed?  That’s fine.  I understand that that happens.  But FUCKING CALL AND TELL ME.  You know why this is important?  It’s important because time is money, and I don’t need to be sitting around on my ass waiting, hoping, and praying that your crappy ass GED requiring $12 an hour job will smile on me.  Let me know that you have somebody else to answer your damn phones and shuffle your damn papers so that I can pick myself up and get back on my little hamster wheel and find somebody else to shuffle papers and answer phones for.  How hard is that?  Oh, oh and this is important, too:  if, after I haven’t heard from you like four months AFTER you said you were going to contact me, and I finally email you to see what the fuck your problem is, when you email me back to say that the position has been filled??  APOLOGIZE FOR BEING SUCH AN UNPROFESSIONAL, COMMUNICATIONALLY CHALLENGED SON OF A BITCH WHO WAS APPARENTLY RAISED IN A BARN.  Because you know what?  You should be sorry for being all up in somebody’s corporate office analyzing TPS reports and synergizing and all trypes of other shit you need a master’s degree to do, all the while not having the home training to apologize to somebody when you fuck up.

Now, I understand that at least in the short run, there is no incentive for you to act like you have some sense.  I mean you have your job.  You have insurance and are looking forward to that kushy Christmas bonus, and you’re not worried about filling that shithole of a position because you know that there are a grillion starving people out there pounding the pavement as we speak who would probably give YOU money just to have an office chair to sit in and a W-4 to file.  So why do you care that you’re showing your ass to 95% of the people who wrote those resumes you’re dropping donut crumbs on while you look over them in your fancy ass leather chair?  Calling me when you said you would or apologizing for not calling me when you said you would neither puts money in your pocket, nor takes money out of it.  You know what you should be concerned about, though?  Karma.  God forbid, prospective employer, your company goes bankrupt and you find yourself in the bread lines with the rest of us.  You’ll get the moldy inedible pieces if you do.  And if, God also forbid, you keel over and die tomorrow?  When you get to heaven, Jesus will look over your life, tell you He’ll review it, have you wait in purgatory until you’re called–and never call you.

In conclusion, I would just like to stress that I am upholding my end of the bargain.  I’m slaving over cover letters and fighting with Microsoft Word for far too long to get the formatting just right.  I’m spending money that I don’t have on spiffy interview attire in the event that I do come upon an interview that I need to be so fresh and so clean for.  I’m being very meticulous in pretending that I’m interested in your company, excited about the available position, and not insulted that I’m lowering myself to work a job that I will be underpaid and overqualified for.  The very least you could do is pretend that you can remember some of the simple lessons that kindergarten should have taught you in case your mothers didn’t:  treat people the way you want to be treated, answer people when they speak to you, and don’t raise your fucking hand unless you really have something to say.

Go fuck yourself,

(your name here)

in honor of the holiday, please enjoy this dramatic re-enactment of the first thanksgiving!

enjoy your genocide-laced turkey dinners, heathens!

okay.  Adam Lambert’s American Music Awards performance was totally gay.  literally.  he ground his peen in one dude’s face and ground his tongue in another man’s mouth.  pretty gay.  that’s fine with me, but i recognize that there’s a big potential for backlash here, as there are a lot of people in this country who are not fine with gay shit.

as of yet, i haven’t heard any outrage beyond a few nameless twitterers who referred to it all as an ‘abomination.’  so i thought i’d take a preemptive strike and comprise a short list of other AMA moments more deserving of your outrage, in no particular order.

1.  Toni Braxton’s damn wig. i love me some toni.  toni is drop dead gorgeous.  but she was drop dead gorgeouser in the 90s when she was rockin the super short black hair.  LOVED it.  the blonde stringy joint does nothing for me.  much more painful to see than adam’s eyemakeup and nailpolish (as seen above).

2. the creepy guy interpretive dancing around alicia keys. um… creepy?  why was he there?  what was he doing?  can he go away?  please?   much more skin crawl-y than adam lickin some dude’s tonsils.

3. Timbaland’s premature leather jacket. yeah.  they shoulda left that one in the incubator a little longer so it could grow just a bit bigger.  far more painful than seeing adam’s nutsack rubbin on some dude’s forehead.

4.    Lady GaGa dressed as a unicorn skeleton. wtf?  to her credit, she did take off the headgear before playing a flaming piano covered in broken glass.  but still.  much more facepalm-inducing than seeing adam nearly fingerpop (what may have been a) chick on a pole.

5.  Shakira’s dancing dancers. this one one of the biggest disappointments of the night for me.  i was REALLY looking forward to her giving us the foolishment from ’she wolf’ but she cheated!  she brought a literal army of professional dancers with her and barely embarrassed herself!  they did all the real dancin while she just kinda moved a little bit and ’sang’ (if u call what she does singing.  i think of it more as yodeling really prettily).  a far bigger disappointment than watching adam have a drunken satan-worshipping orgy with his dancers in the middle of the stage.

so, if u were looking for something to bitch about, there are 5 viable items right there, served up on a platter.  you’re welcome.

ps – jennifer lopez fell & busted her ass.  heheheh.

all pics courtesy this place or this place.

happy friday, yall!

i was in the car with my homie today when Mary Mary’s ‘God in Me’ came on.  i started bankhead bouncin inside myself cause i forgot how much i loved this song.  it definitely knocks! (do ppl still say that?)

the bad thing is that it may knock (if people still say that) a little too much.  i have this condition where when i hear a good beat, my back involuntarily arches & my hips start rolling without my consent.  that’s not exactly the behavior you want to be exhibiting when listening to a gospel song, im sure. im not well versed in the Bible, but i don’t recall reading ‘Thou shalt backeth that ass up all the way to thine zipper’ anywhere.  correct me if i’m wrong tho.

anyway.  enjoy the song & enjoy ur weekends