Monthly Archives: January 2008

get the f*ck up!

lol.  so i dont know if anybody watches the Bad Girls Club on oxygen or not but its a FABULOUS show.  and by fabulous i mean absolutely absurd and borderline embarrassing. 

i mean when you think of it in terms of real world functionality, it’s the worst idea ever.  get a bunch of broads with horrendous attitudes, put them in a house together, and… that’s it.  its not like Real World on mtv, where they put people together to watch their lives and ideals change, give them jobs, send them on trips, all that other shit.  its not like Charm School, where they’ll be given ‘life lessons’ and ‘taught ettiquette’ and ‘helped’ with the problems in their lives (please pay attention to the quotation marks used in all that, they’re very important).  shit its not even Flavor of Love where the girls on the show are embarrassing themselves while working toward a common goal.  these Bad Girls bitches ain’t there to do nothin but fight.  and that’s all they do.

i’ll come back to this topic and expound on the show more later, but suffice it to say, its pretty entertaining in my opinion.  its fun playing the voyuer when you’re classier than the people you’re spying on.

anyway, i brought this up to share this video with you; i just stumbled upon it.  on the episode before last, one of the craziest chicks in the house just totally flipped and decided to wake the house up, project marching band style.  somebody set it to music and while–clearly–its not the smoothest musical mix your ears will hear, i just could not stop sniggling. 

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it’s gon raaaain on yo’ head

okay, let’s do this ‘page six‘ blind item style.  ready?

what North Carolinian hippety hop rapper acted as one of the billions of little brown childrens on the set of black blockbuster The Color Purple

gray hat, standing

got a clue?  i bet you’re wrong.

Continue reading

new gnarls barkley!

yes!

i feel like mario & luigi shld be in there somewhere.

even when my dude was with goodie mob, i always said that id sit and listen to cee-lo sing the phone book for the rest of my life if the good shepherd ever presented me with the option.  i loved the first gnarls album, now im pretty fricken geeked for the second.

i was gonna blog abt the announcement of the album anyway, but luck decided to be a lady and reveal herself in the form of this blog.  click that link to download ‘run,’ a new cut from the duo, and this one to read the rolling stone’s review of the album.

hey, if u listen to it, let me know how it is.  i cant download it @ work, and Lucille, my home computer, is in a coma right now (get better, boo!).

somehow i never knew his teeth were that white & flawless.  with his mouth closed, he looks like he shld have teeth like the hessian from ‘sleepy hollow.’

Making the Band 4-season 2, ep. 1

either i’m outgrowing my past beloved trashy reality tv shows, or my beloved trashy reality tv shows are getting boring.

that said, im still gonna hold out hope for Making the Band, mainly because of the fights promised later on down the line. 

i think i remember watching danity kane’s season, but for the life of me i cant remember too much abt it, so im sort of just getting to know the female cast of characters this season.  i remember andrea being really, really pretty, and i remember the married chick’s mouth doing something disturbingly weird when she sang.   she looks like a weird mix of a bird and the joker from batman (pick any version, she look like all of em).  and i remember aubry just looking kind of… cleanly dirty.  like if you gave pig pen a bath, he wldnt be dirty any more, but he still wldn’t look clean, you know what i mean?  her weave is horrible and it looks like it smells like bacon grease and lemon pledge. 

and then the others… i just didnt really remember at all.  but to cover them all, here’s a group photo.  they managed to clean them up nicely, at least.

dkane.jpg
that’s jokermouth over on the right hand side.

i’m really having trouble understanding why poppa diddy puffa puff picked this particular hodgepodge of girls.  they harmonize well together but they dont blow me away, and individually, their voices are forgettable.. they’re not very pretty, imo, with the exception of andrea.  well, i guess that not true.. the one darkskinned girl with the asymmetrical wig cap is pretty, but the fact that she has a fucking wig cap renders her attractiveness nearly *totally* null and void.  that’s some philly shit that she just needs to leave alone.

so that’s the girls.  onto the guys.. though they have better voices, im finding the lot of them forgettable, too.  the ones that stood out in my memory are willy (DELICIOUS) and the big dude.

willy
i’d make a sammich out of him..
..but he looks hungry all the time.

so basically the format of the show–

oh wait, there’s the big eared over-gelled mouse lookin kid too.  picture you’re typical bleached blond jersey boy and you’ll pretty much have it right.

so basically the format of the show is that all three acts–danity kane, the dudes (do they have a band/group name yet?) and donnie, the solo act (hey look!  i remembered another name!) will all live underneath one roof and work on their albums.  they have 5 months to complete the best album possible.  the losers will get fed to puffy poppa diddy bop’s league of midget minions.  the winner/s get their very own shiny suits and a prayer circle led by Mase (eh-eh, eh-eh). 

puffy pop pop kept the assholery to a minimum this episode, but im praying that that will change, and it probably will.  to my surprise, he didnt call anyone fat, but he did get aubry to make this face:

puff:  ‘yo weave aint gon fuck up my money!

lol.  he basically told her that she’s wack and she needs to not be wack or she’s outta there like a Destiny’s Child member. 

here’s basically what happened the rest of the show:

*everyone gets in a limo to go out, boys sit on one side, girls on the other*

aubry:  how come u guys are so quiet?!

guys:  ….

*everyone gets in the club, has some shots*

girls:  woooo!

boys:  YEEEEAH!

girls:  WOOOOOO!

boys:  DAAANG!

girls:  OMG OMG OMG WOOOO!

*cut to shot of donnie & aubry*

aubry:  im gonna be ur succubus, lol!

donnie:  cool, what’s that?

aubry:  *booty in crotch*

donnie:  WOOOO!

*cut to random shot*

aubry: omg, boys, we’re danity kane!

*cut to a different random shot*

aubry:  do u know who we are?  we’re danity fucking kane!

*lather, rinse, repeat*

aubry:  i dont need your money, im in danity kane and we went platinum!

me: BITCH STFU.

overall it was cool for what it was, but it wasnt all that (c) ______________.*  but granted, its just the first show.  they havent had time to hate each other yet, but its a-comin.

tell u what tho, i miss boom kat already.  😦  oh btw, remember that 15 minutes of fame she’s been milking album she’s been workin on?  listen to a cut from it here

* – if u cant place that quote, me & u aint friends no more.

** – i jacked all these pics from mtv.com.

things you don’t know about nick cannon.

thanks to this guy @ Off the Books for this delicious morsel of information. 

according to wikipedia.org:

-he moved to hollywood when he was 16 

-he was a writer on nickelodeon’s kenan & kel show

-he has herpes simplex 1.

canongotherpes2.jpg

LMAO.  true or not, i think i love the hater that wrote that article.

kanye gets dissed by… peven everett?

i was hipped to this whole thing by this dude right here

firstly, it has come to my attn that not many ppl know who peven everett is.  peven everett is awesome, and it makes sense that with a name like peven, u pretty much have to be.  go hip urself, then come back:  http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=46043533

dont worry, i’ll wait.

…..

 done?  good.

so he has a song dissing kanye west.  LOL already.  like… how random is that?  and its awesome because it starts out:

‘so this what’s up, man.  this dude been hatin me for awhile.  he gon say im a unknown artist… but u got ur folks sendin me emails?  yeah?  aight?  okay, that’s what’s up?  it aint gon take me but a minute to let you know, playa.. i ain’t buy nunna my awards.’

so im like oh, okay, pev.. i aint really heard you get made before so im intrigued.. now im still wonderin why the hell peven fricken everett has beef with kanye, but at this point im interested in hearin it spelled out, and then…

 …a house/techno type beat comes on.  lol!  wtf?! now im not comfortable with callin this a gay beat, cause really, iont believe it is.  i actually like the beat.  but i can completely see everybody in Bump (they have a FANTASTIC happy hour, btw) dancin their lil stud collared asses off on a rainy friday evening.  what im sayin is that its just such an unconventional way to come at somebody musically. 

(ive been tryin to get the video to embed, but it hates me… u can find it here.)

and like some of the stuff he says..

‘i heard you bite my rhymes?’ 

really, peven?  like really?  u heard kanye bite some of ur rhymes?  for real?  like… really?

peven i love u, but u need more people.  it may very well be the truth, im just not buyin it.  i AM curious abt what brought this on, though.

this made me happy; random beef apparently makes me feel warm inside, and i dont think ive felt this warm since Jack Benson came at Sisqo.  good job, Pev!

scarlett johansson clearly wants to fight.

im not tryin to turn this place into Obama Central.  though i wouldnt mind if it was, i know a few whinin ass men who would have somethin smart to say abt it (i see you, troy!).  but, i am sad to report that any ties that scarlett johansson and i have* are in danger of being severed.  look @ this tripe–i found it in today’s metro & then found it @ people.com:

“I am engaged … to Barack Obama,” Johansson, 23, announced to Associated Press reporters as she returned from a her USO tour to the Persian Gulf. “My heart belongs to Barack, and that is who I am currently, finally, engaged to. Yes.”

….

hey, nichole.. i move that we put our own personal beef over Obama aside and go ride on this lil hollywood harlot.  agreed?

* – by ‘personal ties’ i mean im not gonna see no more movies with her in it.  though i cant think of any ive seen with her in it.  i liked her though, and she finna fuck that all up to be damned!