either i’m outgrowing my past beloved trashy reality tv shows, or my beloved trashy reality tv shows are getting boring.
that said, im still gonna hold out hope for Making the Band, mainly because of the fights promised later on down the line.
i think i remember watching danity kane’s season, but for the life of me i cant remember too much abt it, so im sort of just getting to know the female cast of characters this season. i remember andrea being really, really pretty, and i remember the married chick’s mouth doing something disturbingly weird when she sang. she looks like a weird mix of a bird and the joker from batman (pick any version, she look like all of em). and i remember aubry just looking kind of… cleanly dirty. like if you gave pig pen a bath, he wldnt be dirty any more, but he still wldn’t look clean, you know what i mean? her weave is horrible and it looks like it smells like bacon grease and lemon pledge.
and then the others… i just didnt really remember at all. but to cover them all, here’s a group photo. they managed to clean them up nicely, at least.
that’s jokermouth over on the right hand side.
i’m really having trouble understanding why poppa diddy puffa puff picked this particular hodgepodge of girls. they harmonize well together but they dont blow me away, and individually, their voices are forgettable.. they’re not very pretty, imo, with the exception of andrea. well, i guess that not true.. the one darkskinned girl with the asymmetrical wig cap is pretty, but the fact that she has a fucking wig cap renders her attractiveness nearly *totally* null and void. that’s some philly shit that she just needs to leave alone.
so that’s the girls. onto the guys.. though they have better voices, im finding the lot of them forgettable, too. the ones that stood out in my memory are willy (DELICIOUS) and the big dude.
i’d make a sammich out of him..
..but he looks hungry all the time.
so basically the format of the show–
oh wait, there’s the big eared over-gelled mouse lookin kid too. picture you’re typical bleached blond jersey boy and you’ll pretty much have it right.
so basically the format of the show is that all three acts–danity kane, the dudes (do they have a band/group name yet?) and donnie, the solo act (hey look! i remembered another name!) will all live underneath one roof and work on their albums. they have 5 months to complete the best album possible. the losers will get fed to puffy poppa diddy bop’s league of midget minions. the winner/s get their very own shiny suits and a prayer circle led by Mase (eh-eh, eh-eh).
puffy pop pop kept the assholery to a minimum this episode, but im praying that that will change, and it probably will. to my surprise, he didnt call anyone fat, but he did get aubry to make this face:
puff: ‘yo weave aint gon fuck up my money!
lol. he basically told her that she’s wack and she needs to not be wack or she’s outta there like a Destiny’s Child member.
here’s basically what happened the rest of the show:
*everyone gets in a limo to go out, boys sit on one side, girls on the other*
aubry: how come u guys are so quiet?!
*everyone gets in the club, has some shots*
girls: OMG OMG OMG WOOOO!
*cut to shot of donnie & aubry*
aubry: im gonna be ur succubus, lol!
donnie: cool, what’s that?
aubry: *booty in crotch*
*cut to random shot*
aubry: omg, boys, we’re danity kane!
*cut to a different random shot*
aubry: do u know who we are? we’re danity fucking kane!
*lather, rinse, repeat*
aubry: i dont need your money, im in danity kane and we went platinum!
me: BITCH STFU.
overall it was cool for what it was, but it wasnt all that (c) ______________.* but granted, its just the first show. they havent had time to hate each other yet, but its a-comin.
tell u what tho, i miss boom kat already. 😦 oh btw, remember that
15 minutes of fame she’s been milking album she’s been workin on? listen to a cut from it here.
* – if u cant place that quote, me & u aint friends no more.
** – i jacked all these pics from mtv.com.