first fights of the season! yes! they were rather tames ones, but still. i smell blood in the water so i’ll likely be circling this failboat til next week’s show. on with the recap:
in this week’s episode, puff pappy daddy draws national attention to a disease that is apparently ravishing too many young people: bitchassness. its the number one killer of domestic cats (© debbie downer). we also find a new reason to lust for will, celebrate the tuning up of aubrey’s weave, and forget that donnie matters to anything cause he was only on screen for like 25 seconds. literally.
BUSINESS: the three acts were told to each work on a song, individually, and when they were done, puff pitty was to listen and critique them. now i got excited cause puff has absolutely no tact when it comes to criticizing people. when the guys (by the way, their group name is Day 26. lol. wackalicious!) got to recording, the one dude, whose name i think is robert but since im not sure will instead be referred to as Jerome, got all whiny and cry-y because they didnt give him a verse or a lead or hell even a full word on the track they were to do. the dudes thought it was wack of him, so they told him so. later on. …in front of puff.
i dont remember who got the ball rolling there, but willy was the most vocal of the group on the matter. granted… jerome really did need to shut the fuck up. and willy wasn’t wrong for feelin some kinda way about dude’s pouting. but how u gon call dude out in front of the boss like that?! he cld have just as easily pulled poor romey rome aside and said what he had to say. i thought that was a bit of a bitchassed move. and i wasn’t the only one who smelled bitchassity afoot–so did puff. only he smelled it on robert.
lol. it was kind of bizarre, imo. puffy poppy pips then goes on to express his concern for jerome’s health, what with the bitchassness killing his immune system at all. he warned him of the dangers of disease for a long time. a really long time. jerome made this face:
i think it’s good that puff stepped in though. Rome clearly has all the symptoms: liquification of neck muscles resulting in an inability to hold one’s head up. corner-mouth sag. broken spirit. loss of self-esteem. visible feelings of betrayal. wack tattoos. dude was in DANGER. in addition to saving him from this horrid illness, my sources tell me that the Society for Bitchassness Research has selected poppy daddy to be their spokesperson. a PSA is in production as we speak. everybody wins!
the good news in all of this is that even though i had to kind of turn my nose up at willy for goin at dude in front of osama bin puffy, i gave him a pass since he used the word ‘dissident‘ in one of his tirades over the whole situation. im a word whore, what can i say. get out your easter suits and dresses; the marriage is still on. on to the subplot!
PLEASURE: apparently bad boy artists are only allowed to date each other. that’s how all these little star bellied sneetches are acting, just slobbering all over each other, callin dibs and what not like there aren’t a grillion other people in the world for them to do the grownup with. but whatever. makes for
otherwise sub-par good tv, so i’ll allow it.
so Q, the 19 year old with the donkey teeth, and Dawn, the one with the acceptable weave and weird facial proportions, go out on a date. they were supposed to double with Jerome (i really do think he name might be robert) and D. Wig Cap (known also D. Woods), but Jerome is apparently very, very bad at picking up on hints. when he shows up at the girl’s room to get Wig Cap and roll out, she’s still very much in her bed, very much not going anywhere.
before the guys got there, she and Aubrey looked dude up on myspace, tryin to find some dirt on him and apparently find the page of somebody named Junebug who has a bunch of ‘i love jerome’ shit on her page, complete with pictures of the two of them all hugged up. when Rome comes in, she shows him the page, he gets defensive, they start goin at it, and keep goin at it long enough for Dawn and Q to leave, go eat, and come back.
there’s not too much to say abt their date. it was a date. Dawn looks weird. i feel bad sayin that tho because she mentions, or at least hints at her self esteem being low, particularly in her past. somehow that made me like her a little more. still, i am concerned for the dental life of their future children. Dawn got dolphin teeth, Q got donkey teeth. what do donkin teeth look like? does the world really need to find out?
in the end, Jesus took the wheel and drove them all to church. Jerome got all that bitchassedness out of him (turns out all u need is a negro spiritual and a couple of vitamin c drops. clears it right up.) and (supposedly) nailed the part of the song he was given. the dudes all apologized, Dawn and Q are secretly planning for those little donkins, and everything is once again fine and dandy.
next episode, maybe we’ll find out if donnie is still alive or not.