so american idol sucks this year. i think we’re all just burnt out. it was awesome when it was new, but im finally working on admitting to myself that it is now a snooze fest. american idol? more like american NYQUIL! HAHA! u get it?! cause see nyquil puts people to sleep, and when people say that something else put them to sleep, it signifies that that something was too boring to hold their interest and keep them awake, and plus if u say it with the back of ur tongue then ‘nyquil’ and ‘idol’ *kinda* sound the same, and..
whatever. i find myself hilarious and that’s all that matters.
so as i watch these first round auditions, and i see and (unfortunately) hear the splendorous delusions of catterwaulers who really, honestly, and truly think they can see, my mind always ends up thinking about the family members who travel there with them, stand in those long ass lines with them, and then cry & get angry with them after simon tells them to kill themselves. what’s the deal with these people? are they as batshit as their non-singin ass relatives? do they genuinely think that little quanika’s tapdancing rendition of ‘and i am telling you’ is good? are they loving relatives who just dont have the heart to tell susie that she’d be far more successful at stripping than singing?
or are they just mean, spiteful, hateful people who feign support just to get hopefuls into the auditions and masturbate furiously when they crash and burn? ive always felt that this was the case, and last night, two people FINALLY had the identical balls to admit it on national ass TV.
there’s plenty of comedy here, from the creepy ass threesome-esque story of the twins and their girlfriend ashley, to one of the twin’s suck-ass ‘lean wit it rock wit it,’ to the gratuitous thug rapper-isms, to simon’s theft of ashley’s dog, panda. but the real treasure, the REAL glory comes when it’s time for ashley to audition, right around the 3:55 mark.
they totally made me forgive them for the sin of their ridiculously irritating cultural appropriation in the middle of all this.