hi! im your child’s role model! lolz!
i can’t load the website here at work, and that sucks because i wanted to throw in some screen shots for yall (i’ll do it later). i just wanted to hip all the parents of young impressionable girls out there to a funtime fantastic fancypants fashion doll game: MissBimbo! its like those annoying ass Bratz dolls or those slutty little online avatar dolls, but more threatening to your child’s sense of reality!
here’s a description of the game, straight from the website:
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Welcome to Miss Bimbo. The world’s first virtual fashion game !
Become the most famous and beautiful bimbo in the world !
* Find your own place to live.
* Find a job to provide for your needs and to buy all the clothes you want.
* Buy the latest fashions and become the coolest bimbo on the street !
* Become a socialite in order to increase your popularity and fame.
* Charm a famous handsome man to become a social diva.
* Even resort to medicine or cosmetic surgery. Stop at nothing to make yourself the Queen of the bimbos !
* Tackle the 68 tasks as quick as possible to become a star bimbo !!
Are you ready to become the bimbo of the moment ?
If you want to become a “Miss Bimbo” click here: http://www.missbimbo.com
Si vous préférez jouer à la version française (If you prefer the french version of the game) cliquez ici (click here): http://www.ma-bimbo.com
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now as u can see in the last sentence, there is also a French version of the game, and since the english on the website isn’t perfect, it’s safe to assume that the game itself is French, which explains the high level of debauchery and unsavoryness (you know how those fuckin french people are). so before i got upset, i thought that maybe–juuuuust maybe–they used the word ‘bimbo’ to describe the female cartoon characters that will represent your sponge-like children in this game because there’s not a direct French-to-English translation for ‘strong, respectable, fashion-savy woman.’ so i tried me one of them online translator things and it turns out that a bimbo is a bimbo, no matter the language! yay!
aloha! j’sui ma bimbo! et tu? fromage? sombrero!
i saw this site on the news last nite and just HAD to go look at it. it wasnt enough that i just poke around and shake my head in disgust, i actually played the game. registered and everything. some of the totally neat-o-riffic things i found:
-one of the games is a memory game called ‘sort out your bag.’ its your traditional match game, all featuring items essential to any bimbo’s bag. included in the bag: lipstick, underwear, a picture of a guy with hearts around him, cigarettes, and random, nondescript white and blue pills! …wait, what?
-in this same game, the instructions admonish your child to be neater with her purse, and adds a little more encouragement by calling her a ‘trashy bimbo!’ awesome!
-in another game, the goal is to go inside a nightclub and kiss as many boys as you can. the more boys u kiss, the higher your score. that’s it. that’s the whole game. kiss boys. 0_o
-i shldnt have to tell you this, but in case you were wondering, the bimbo your child gets will be the epitome of beauty and perfection: she has a beautiful milky complexion to start, but with the help of a tanning bed, she can turn a delicious ‘acceptibly dark but still caucasion’ brown (sorry, darkies! you’re not included in this fountain of fun! or in society’s idea of beauty!) and her stats are listed as 5 ft 6 (or it may have been 7) and a svelte 127 lbs. visible ribs are sexy!
-speaking of weight, your child will learn healthy ways to control hers by figuring out the best and easiest ways to stay fit skinny! buy food for her–your choices are chocolate, hamburgers, cereal bars, candy, and other random fatness. oh, and some veggies. your girls are warned that all that stuff will stop your bimbo’s hungry, but it will make her fatter (OH NOES!!!11)! except the veggies, that is. the downside to that is that they dont do a good job of satisfying your hunger (why the fuck would they choose THAT then?). now the downside (read: upside) to this is that they can’t take the bulimic route to 126-pound perfection. but, the upside (read: motherfucking absolute DOWNSIDE) is that they can turn to diet pills and over-exercising! all is not lost!
-plastic surgery! omg PLASTIC SURGERY!!!!!!!!!! YOUR YOUNG, IMPRESSIONABLE DAUGHTERS WILL PLAY A GAME WHERE THEY SEEK OUT PLASTIC SURGERY FOR A 5 FT 6 127 LB GIRL!! the excitement makes me want to die inside!!!
i kept trying to make excuses for this game. maybe, i thought, this is a parody of the absurd fascination with the modern day socialite, which is the ultimate goal of the game–to be the very best Paris Richiedashian you can be. maybe it’s not REALLY for lil kids. that was pretty much shot all to hell and back and then to hell again by the email i got once i registered to play the game, the subject line of which said:
Your child has just registered with MissBimbo.com!
then i decided that im just not gonna have kids. ever. just screw it all until the world gets a healthy dose of good sense.
anyway, if u still need a good idea of what the game is all about, take a look at the goals to be accomplished to graduate from level to level:
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GOALS:
Level 1
1 – Change your haircut to become a blonde with bunches!
2 – Rent an apartment
3 – Register yourself on a training course
Level 2
1 – Buy at least 3 items of clothing
2 – Get a job
3 – Find a boyfriend
4 – Go to the hairdresser and have your hair in a red bun!
Level 3
1 – Obtain 200 Bimbo dollars
2 – Obtain an IQ of a minimum of 76
3 – Save an outfit that includes any dress
4 – Change your haircut to have a nice bun!
Level 4
1 – Finish with your boyfriend and find a new one.
2 – Weigh less than 58 kilos
Level 5
1 – Save at least 5 different outfits.
2 – Buy at least 7 items of clothing or shoes!
3 – Find a new apartment with at least three rooms
4 – Have one or more body scrubs.
Level 6
1 – Weigh less than 59 kilos
2 – Become a hairdresser
3 – Save an outfit that includes as skirt
4 – Get 5000 Bimbo attitude points
Level 7
1 – Become a secretary
2 – Become single! And find a new boyfriend.
3 – Have a breast operation to get bigger breasts.
4 – Take one or more sunbed(s) sessions to get a browner look.
Level 8
1 – Win at least 300 challenges
2 – Obtain an IQ of at least 110.
3 – Have more than 25 items of clothing in your wardrobe.
4 – Have 15 000 Bimbo attitude points.
Level 9
1 – Have a small nip and tuck operation on the face.
2 – Leave your ex-boyfriend and find a new man.
3 – You found work as a model for a fashion parade dedicated to beautiful curvey woman. You need to weigh more than 70 kilos.
4 – It’s a fancy dress party! You are going as a sexy sailor. Save your “sailors nine’s” outfit (skirt, shoes and top).
Level 10
1 – Buy an apartment or a house
2 – Become a nurse
3 – Get back to your ideal weight
Level 11
1 – Obtain 15 000 Bimbo dollars.
2 – Win at least 400 challenges
3 – Have 35 000 bimbo attitude points
4 – Have at least 38 items of clothing in your wardrobe.
Level 12
1 – After your 100th day of the game you will get a nice gift to celebrate!
2 – Win at least 600 challenges
3 – Save at least 25 different outfits.
4 – Have more than 68 items of clothing in your wardrobe.
Level 13
1 – Get 80000 Bimbo attitude points.
2 – Win 700 challenges
3 – Become a journalist
4 – A fashion photographer wants you to appear in his underwear magazine. Save your red and black underwear outfit.
Level 14
1 – Have more than 200 items of clothing in your wardrobe.
2 – Become an architect
3 – You go to a video game celebrity party ! You must save a “Heroic Fantasy” outfit. You can find it all at “nine’s”.
Level 15
1 – You must have 100 000 Bimbo attitude points.
2 – Finish with your current relationship and find a new billionaire boyfriend.
3 – Complete the sixth level of the French kiss game.
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btw, im copying this stuff & the screenshots from
this post at a forum about the game, filled with 38 pages of dialogue from its players.
im gonna go take a nap.
wake me when the supid is over. kthnkz.
