i blame geraldine ferraro.

Pauley Shore protests America’s ‘no whities’ policy with this innovative t-shirt.

for the longest time, i just thought pauley shore was unfunny, but it turns out ive been wrong.  he IS funny, it’s just that all these OTHER funny darkies make it hard for him to get his shine on.  yes.  yes that explains it.

if u dont want to sit through the video, here are some highlights:

-he first says he’s not playing the race card.  alright, pauly.  we’re with ya. 

-he says he’s as funny as katt williams, thusly losing any and all credibility he’s ever had in his LIFE.  he then goes on to whine abt all the specials katt gets, then says he gets them because he’s black.

-he then goes on to list several (mostly) funny black commedians:  dl hugley, monique (this is why i said ‘mostly’ funny), cedric the entertainer, martin lawrence, & charlie murphy.  re: charlie specifically, he says, ‘yeah, he’s funny, but the only reason he’s working is because he’s black.’  !!!!!!  HOLY SHIT!  bein black is GETTING niggas jobs now?!  when the shit did this start happening?!

-says that ‘white ppl are gonna be picking cotton…literally within three years,’ then goes on to say that ‘the blacks are on top.’  he may be right about this:  having the highest rate of AIDs/HIV cases, the highest risk of heart disease & high blood pressure and most numbers of men in jail, we’re the tops on some lists out there! w00t!

-comments on barack.  i’ll let you guess what he said there but.. im pretty sure that geraldine ferraro is his secret mom.

-does a gross impersonation of his black friends that reminded me very much of the 4 years i spent at one of the whitest colleges in the world (hi janie! lol).

-calls himself a ‘natural born comic,’ then references the fact that he grew up around comics like richard pryor and sam kennison at the comedy store, which–coincidentally, im sure–is owned by his parents.  yo.  im terrible at math and science.  my BA is in english and i know nothing about architecture, but i have been working at one of the world’s leading architecture firms for over a year.  do u trust me to run out and try and build somebody a skyscraper?  exactly.

id have so much more respect for pauly if he just came out and said ‘THESE N*GGERS ARE FUNNIER THAN ME AND IT MAKES MY HEART SAD!” then goin the strip-black-ppl-of-their-natural-talents-and-abilities route in order to justify the fact that he’s not on tv anyfucking more because he’s not funny.  i’d rather go see carrot top than him.  and i am TERRIFIED of carrot top–have u seen him lately?!

where’s his areolae?! HE’S AN ALIEN!!!

5 responses to “i blame geraldine ferraro.

  1. seriously man…this offends me not as a black man, but as an aspiring comic. this dude isn’t funny and he had like 20 years on mtv to prove himself, and he fumbled his 15 minutes of fame away. and carrot top is a hot androgynous mess

  2. Pingback: Uh Oh. « PostBourgie

  3. i love that he says that he’s not playing the race card, and then he’s all ‘BLACK PEOPLE BLACK PEOPLE WHITE PEOPLE PICKIN COTTON BLACK PEOPLE!’

    lmao. im sad for his life.

  4. Yup, Geraldine started all this.

  5. Wow. Does Pauly realize he just isn’t funny. What has he ever really done anyway? When he was on MTv, he was known as “The Weasel” he didn’t do anything funny other than call people buddy and make weird hand gestures.

    Even his crappy movies weren’t funny. The funniest thing he’s done was Encino Man and this is from the recollection of 14 year old BedStuyNative whose taste isn’t as sophisticated as 30 year old BedStuyNative. And, if I recall properly it was Brendan Frasier that was funny.

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