hey, kids! it’s Miss Bimbo!

hi!  im your child’s role model!  lolz!

i can’t load the website here at work, and that sucks because i wanted to throw in some screen shots for yall (i’ll do it later).  i just wanted to hip all the parents of young impressionable girls out there to a funtime fantastic fancypants fashion doll game:  MissBimbo!  its like those annoying ass Bratz dolls or those slutty little online avatar dolls, but more threatening to your child’s  sense of reality!

here’s a description of the game, straight from the website:


Welcome to Miss Bimbo. The world’s first virtual fashion game !
Become the most famous and beautiful bimbo in the world !

* Find your own place to live.
* Find a job to provide for your needs and to buy all the clothes you want.
* Buy the latest fashions and become the coolest bimbo on the street !
* Become a socialite in order to increase your popularity and fame.
* Charm a famous handsome man to become a social diva.
* Even resort to medicine or cosmetic surgery. Stop at nothing to make yourself the Queen of the bimbos !
* Tackle the 68 tasks as quick as possible to become a star bimbo !!

Are you ready to become the bimbo of the moment ?

If you want to become a “Miss Bimbo” click here: http://www.missbimbo.com
Si vous préférez jouer à la version française (If you prefer the french version of the game) cliquez ici (click here): http://www.ma-bimbo.com


 now as u can see in the last sentence, there is also a French version of the game, and since the english on the website isn’t perfect, it’s safe to assume that the game itself is French, which explains the high level of debauchery and unsavoryness (you know how those fuckin french people are).  so before i got upset, i thought that maybe–juuuuust maybe–they used the word ‘bimbo’ to describe the female cartoon characters that will represent your sponge-like children in this game because there’s not a direct French-to-English translation for ‘strong, respectable, fashion-savy woman.’   so i tried me one of them online translator things and it turns out that a bimbo is a bimbo, no matter the language!  yay!

aloha! j’sui ma bimbo! et tu? fromage? sombrero!

i saw this site on the news last nite and just HAD to go look at it.  it wasnt enough that i just poke around and shake my head in disgust, i actually played the game.  registered and everything.  some of the totally neat-o-riffic things i found:

-one of the games is a memory game called ‘sort out your bag.’  its your traditional match game, all featuring items essential to any bimbo’s bag.  included in the bag:  lipstick, underwear, a picture of a guy with hearts around him, cigarettes, and random, nondescript white and blue pills!  …wait, what?

-in this same game, the instructions admonish your child to be neater with her purse, and adds a little more encouragement by calling her a ‘trashy bimbo!’  awesome!

-in another game, the goal is to go inside a nightclub and kiss as many boys as you can.  the more boys u kiss, the higher your score.  that’s it.  that’s the whole game.  kiss boys.  0_o

-i shldnt have to tell you this, but in case you were wondering, the bimbo your child gets will be the epitome of beauty and perfection:  she has a beautiful milky complexion to start, but with the help of a tanning bed, she can turn a delicious ‘acceptibly dark but still caucasion’ brown (sorry, darkies!  you’re not included in this fountain of fun! or in society’s idea of beauty!)  and her stats are listed as 5 ft 6 (or it may have been 7) and a svelte 127 lbs.  visible ribs are sexy!

-speaking of weight, your child will learn healthy ways to control hers by figuring out the best and easiest ways to stay fit skinny!  buy food for her–your choices are chocolate, hamburgers, cereal bars, candy, and other random fatness.  oh, and some veggies.  your girls are warned that all that stuff will stop your bimbo’s hungry, but it will make her fatter (OH NOES!!!11)!  except the veggies, that is.  the downside to that is that they dont do a good job of satisfying your hunger (why the fuck would they choose THAT then?).  now the downside (read:  upside) to this is that they can’t take the bulimic route to 126-pound perfection.  but, the upside (read:  motherfucking absolute DOWNSIDE) is that they can turn to diet pills and over-exercising!  all is not lost!

-plastic surgery!  omg PLASTIC SURGERY!!!!!!!!!!  YOUR YOUNG, IMPRESSIONABLE DAUGHTERS WILL PLAY A GAME WHERE THEY SEEK OUT PLASTIC SURGERY FOR A 5 FT 6 127 LB GIRL!!  the excitement makes me want to die inside!!! 

i kept trying to make excuses for this game.  maybe, i thought, this is a parody of the absurd fascination with the modern day socialite, which is the ultimate goal of the game–to be the very best Paris Richiedashian you can be.  maybe it’s not REALLY for lil kids.  that was pretty much shot all to hell and back and then to hell again by the email i got once i registered to play the game, the subject line of which said:

Your child has just registered with MissBimbo.com!

 then i decided that im just not gonna have kids.  ever.  just screw it all until the world gets a healthy dose of good sense. 

anyway, if u still need a good idea of what the game is all about, take a look at the goals to be accomplished to graduate from level to level:



Level 1

1 – Change your haircut to become a blonde with bunches!
2 – Rent an apartment
3 – Register yourself on a training course

Level 2

1 – Buy at least 3 items of clothing
2 – Get a job
3 – Find a boyfriend
4 – Go to the hairdresser and have your hair in a red bun!

Level 3

1 – Obtain 200 Bimbo dollars
2 – Obtain an IQ of a minimum of 76
3 – Save an outfit that includes any dress
4 – Change your haircut to have a nice bun!

Level 4

1 – Finish with your boyfriend and find a new one.
2 – Weigh less than 58 kilos

Level 5

1 – Save at least 5 different outfits.
2 – Buy at least 7 items of clothing or shoes!
3 – Find a new apartment with at least three rooms
4 – Have one or more body scrubs.

Level 6

1 – Weigh less than 59 kilos
2 – Become a hairdresser
3 – Save an outfit that includes as skirt
4 – Get 5000 Bimbo attitude points

Level 7

1 – Become a secretary
2 – Become single! And find a new boyfriend.
3 – Have a breast operation to get bigger breasts.
4 – Take one or more sunbed(s) sessions to get a browner look.

Level 8

1 – Win at least 300 challenges
2 – Obtain an IQ of at least 110.
3 – Have more than 25 items of clothing in your wardrobe.
4 – Have 15 000 Bimbo attitude points.

Level 9

1 – Have a small nip and tuck operation on the face.
2 – Leave your ex-boyfriend and find a new man.
3 – You found work as a model for a fashion parade dedicated to beautiful curvey woman. You need to weigh more than 70 kilos.
4 – It’s a fancy dress party! You are going as a sexy sailor. Save your “sailors nine’s” outfit (skirt, shoes and top).

Level 10

1 – Buy an apartment or a house
2 – Become a nurse
3 – Get back to your ideal weight

Level 11

1 – Obtain 15 000 Bimbo dollars.
2 – Win at least 400 challenges
3 – Have 35 000 bimbo attitude points
4 – Have at least 38 items of clothing in your wardrobe.

Level 12

1 – After your 100th day of the game you will get a nice gift to celebrate!
2 – Win at least 600 challenges
3 – Save at least 25 different outfits.
4 – Have more than 68 items of clothing in your wardrobe.

Level 13

1 – Get 80000 Bimbo attitude points.
2 – Win 700 challenges
3 – Become a journalist
4 – A fashion photographer wants you to appear in his underwear magazine. Save your red and black underwear outfit.

Level 14

1 – Have more than 200 items of clothing in your wardrobe.
2 – Become an architect
3 – You go to a video game celebrity party ! You must save a “Heroic Fantasy” outfit. You can find it all at “nine’s”.

Level 15

1 – You must have 100 000 Bimbo attitude points.
2 – Finish with your current relationship and find a new billionaire boyfriend.
3 – Complete the sixth level of the French kiss game.
 btw, im copying this stuff & the screenshots from this post at a forum about the game, filled with 38 pages of dialogue from its players.
im gonna go take a nap. 
wake me when the supid is over. kthnkz.

38 responses to “hey, kids! it’s Miss Bimbo!

  1. LOL

    This is awesome.
    Sad, but awesome.

  2. Update:

    Dear Players,

    Due to unforseen worldwide interest in Miss Bimbo we have had difficulty in maintaining our game in the manner players have become accustomed. We are sorry for this inconvenience and can assure you that our game will be up and running as soon as possible.

    As a result of this rather surprising media attention we have decided to remove the option of purchasing diet pills from the game. We apologise to any players whom this may inconvenience but we feel in light of this weeks proceedings it is the correct action to take.

    We would also like to sincerely apologise to our players for the media comparison of Miss Bimbo and Paris Hilton. We feel that this does a dis-service to the players whom send their bimbos to university, tea parties or chess tournaments.

    At this time we would also like to remind players that the Miss Bimbo team assume no responsibility or liability for any fashion faux pas, hair style disasters or boob jobs incurred in real life as as a result of playing the Miss Bimbo game.

    The Miss Bimbo Team.

  3. LOL this part is golden:

    “We feel that this does a dis-service to the players whom send their bimbos to university, tea parties or chess tournaments.”

    its like they’re saying ‘yeah, we encourage 9 and 11 year old girls to get boob jobs, become gold diggers, and take diet pills instead of eating a healthy diet–BUT WHAT ABOUT THE GOOD STUFF, HUH?!’

    sheesh. i was thumbing through the other profiles @ missbimbo and like ALL of them were for girls aged 9-14. i could have puked. just puked all over the place.

  4. all about the wrong. all.

  5. i’m 13, i play miss bimbo, and i think its AWESUMMM!
    but unfortunately, it’s caused me to become anorexic, have distastrous plastic surgery, dye my hair blonde, become addicted to diet pills and going to the gym, and care for only for the shallow and meaningless things in life.


    its a bit of fun really; you need to learn to take things lightly. maybe if you look more closely you’ll see the irony in it.

    and if kids as young as nine are playing it, then their parents need to control their internet use.
    then again, i was nine a few years ago, and theres still no way i would have taken it seriously.

    so, um, have fun getting worked up over absolutely nothing.

  6. The before postet levels are incorrect, the right are here,
    this are the levels from the european version

    Levels 1
    1 – Change your drab hairstyle to become a popular blonde with cool pigtails !
    2 – Rent your very own apartment. Bout time you got your own pad
    3 – Register yourself on a training course and get an exciting new job!

    Levels 2
    1 – Buy at least 3 items of the latest fashion trends! You gotta keep looking good!
    2 – Find a boyfriend who is Mr. Right or simply Mr. Right Now !
    3 – Go to the hairstylist and get a pink bun.

    Levels 3
    1 – Get the baker job.
    2 – Save an outfit that includes a dress
    3 – Change your stylish hairdo – to the long one with bangs and in blue.
    4 – Win at least 10 challenges

    Levels 4
    1 – By hook or by crook, obtain an IQ of a minimum of 75. Advice – go to the library and play some games!
    2 – Complete todays easy puzzle.
    3 – Buy a “GYM card” to keep fit.

    Levels 5
    1 – Rent or buy a better flat. Upgrade girl to a cooler pad
    2 – Save at least 10 hot outfits from your wardrobe
    3 – You need at least 10 items of clothing or shoes you�ve had your eye on. Got to have a big wardrobe for a diva bimbo hey girl!

    Levels 6
    1 – Score 4000 bimbo attitude points
    2 – Save an outfit that includes a hip skirt
    3 – You think that your boyfriend is now a has-been, you must break-up and finish your relationship!

    Levels 7
    1 – After you broke-up with your ex-boyfriend you went on an eationg binge!!! Please don’t comfort eat with all that chocolate! Now it’s time to diet … Your target weight is less than 132 Lbs.
    2 – Complete todays “sort out your bag” game.
    3 – You seem a little depressed, go to the hairstylist and change your hair-cut.
    4 – Find a new boyfriend!

    Levels 8
    1 – You got a new passion and you want to become the hottest new hairstylist in town. Toni and Guy will be recruiting you soon!
    2 – Have one or more indulgent body scrubs to be white!
    3 – have played to the scratch game today.

    Levels 9
    1 – Obtain 500 bimbo dollars
    2 – obtain an IQ of a minimum – 90
    3 – Are you the most beautiful ? You will be soon! Have a nip and tuck operation for a brand new face
    4 – You�ve found work as a plus-size model. To gain those vivacious curves, you need to weigh more than 154 Lbs.
    5 – Put on black lipstick at the beauty center.

    Levels 10
    1 – Your boyfriend is not happy with your cosmetic surgery … you break-up.
    2 – Get one or more tanning session(s) to have that tropical tan that�s all the rave !
    3 – Summertime is coming up and bikini weather is upon us. You want to turn heads on the beach don’t you? Get back to your ideal weight
    4 – Go to the town psychiatrist and talk about your problems. Remember a problem shared is a problem halved!

    Levels 11
    1 – You�ve got the stuff to strut to win 200 challenges
    2 – You are bored in the bakery.You’ve eaten too much bread! You want to become a secretary and smile at all the handsome business men!
    3 – Have to buy at least 70 items of clothing.
    4 – You want a new boyfriend, let’s go to the night club! Make sure you are looking good!

    Levels 12
    1 – Have a breast operation
    2 – Make the other girls jealous with your dazzling style – accumulate more than 30 outfits in your wardrobe
    3 – Rock 25 000 bimbo attitude points and make others take notice !

    Levels 13
    1 – You fell in love with another boy! you have to dump your boyfriend to start your new relationship!
    2 – obtain an IQ of a minimum – 110 wow brain box status. Watch out Dr Stephen Hawkins!
    3 – Time to dress up for a party ! Go as a sexy sailor. Save your “sailor Haute Couture” outfit (skirt, shoes and top). You can find it all at Haute Couture

    Levels 14
    1 – Time to do the good thing and help others – become a nurse! Ooh nice uniform
    2 – Mama has got to get paid ! Obtain 12 000 bimbo dollars.
    3 – Be the talk of the walk – win at least 300 challenges
    4 – Have 45 000 bimbo attitude points and the rights for bragging big time!
    5 – You�re a fashion extraordinaire and have at least 200 items of clothing in your wardrobe

    Levels 15
    1 – Buy or rent a three-roomed flat – you want to live with your boyfriend.
    2 – Obtain an IQ of at least 140.
    3 – Save an outfit with jerrica clothes (top, jacket, skirt, socks, shoes, beret, necklace, belt and bag.) To help you on your way we’ll give you the beret, necklace,belt and a bag.

    Levels 16
    1 – A famous fashion photographer wants you to appear in his lingerie magazine. Save your sexy red and black lingerie outfit
    2 – Complete the “sort out your bag” game today.
    3 – Life in a relationship is sometimes difficult! You need some help go to the psychiatrist today!
    4 – Get 75 000 bimbo attitude points.

    Levels 17
    1 – You have to admit is over between you and Michael. Accept it and move on. Hes found a new Bimbo. But the news in town is that there is a Billionaire on vacation … You must catch his eye and catch his love! Good luck.
    2 – Your closet is overflowing with more than 300 items of clothing in your wardrobe
    3 – After your 100th day of playing the game, you will get a fantabulous gift that�s worth a mighty celebration!
    4 – Win at least 600 challenges

    Levels 18
    1 – Just the facts Ma�am. Become a journalist and tell only the truth. No spin.
    2 – You have to give some bimbo cred in the fashion victim contest to 10 Bimbos of your choice. Have sympathy – every Bimbo can’t be as cool as you!
    3 – Get 150 000 Bimbo attitude points.
    4 – You want to go to the beach but you need some beach style. Go to the tanning salon – get the bronzing max and some bleached surf style blonde hair! Surfs up baby – surfs up!

    Levels 19
    1 – You�ve reached the elite status! You have more than 500 items of clothing in your wardrobe. You are a veritable Bimbo diva!
    2 – You go to a fancy costume party ! Save a “heroic fantasy” outfit. You can find it all at Haute Couture

    Levels 20
    1 – You must have a lofty 180 000 bimbo attitude points
    2 – obtain an IQ of a minimum – 180 Your brains are so big they are coming out your ears!
    3 – While at a video game party you met a you

    kisses jenny

  7. the game is fun!

    my mum doesnt mind me playing it!

    ur just fat old ppl who r jealous n have nothing better to do than complain!

  8. is that you, silvia night?

    silly game, it’s boring

  9. Hii!
    I Thought I’d Check Out The French Version Of Miss Bimbo!..
    It Seems To Be Much Better Than The English One!
    It’s Still Great!
    Oh And By The Way.. Your Levels Are Wrong!

  10. LilMissPinkChink

    Btw… there are plenty of people 18+ who enjoy the strangely addicting MissBimbo. I’m 25 and I get the biggest kick out of it! ^_^

    Parents should be supervising their children and teaching them the difference between an internet fantasy game that uses the word ‘bimbo’ instead of ‘barbie’ and reality.

    Oy. Lighten up.

  11. voici ma bimbo

  12. hey , I’m 14 , I’m an english girl clike many others whom have been playing missbimbo for a while, u know that they said that it is caricaturist , it’s making fun of the world and sutpid ppl who do that ???

  13. ..................abi

    hey pplz i was wonderin on the french kiss game i[p;lay it and it says congratulations and leave game and that is it i dont nknow how i get to the second level and really wanna knowc can anyone help me plzzxxxxxxxxxxxxx thx =( =D

  14. “5 ft 6 (or it may have been 7) and a svelte 127 lbs. visible ribs are sexy!”

    lol fatty. 5’6″ and 127 lbs is hardly stick-thin, and only fatties would think so.

  15. I have to disagree on the weight, I’m 5’9″ 120 lbs and I am perfectly healthy I run cross country and everything.


  17. some of those levels are wrong ive been threw half and they tell me to do different

  18. It’s safe to assume you are not an intelligent person. The game isn’t made in France. Read the bottom, it’s a UK run company. But I’m glad you made such a convincing argument backed up by facts.

  19. One your 100th day you will get a gift, it’s pretty lame considering how much they build it up. You get 1000Bimbo Attitude points, 2000 on your 200th day etc.

  20. Ok, this line, right here, made everything you said afterward total bullshit:

    “since the english on the website isn’t perfect, it’s safe to assume that the game itself is French, which explains the high level of debauchery and unsavoryness (you know how those fuckin french people are).”

    yeah, I’ve been playing for a while now, and I haven’t noticed any bad English, but that might just be because french is my first language. I was born in Quebec, my family is from France, and you need help. You want to bash the site, go ahead. But the argument that its all the Frenches fault is pathetic. On that note, if you want to talk about bad spelling, use spell check yourself, you forgot the “g” on fucking.

  21. It’s so stupid how everyone is always bashing MissBimbo. Really, it’s just a stupid game that’s fun to play. Do you really think someone would go out and get breast implants because their bimbo did? Get a grip, you worry too much. I do agree that nine year olds shouldn’t play, but you aren’t their parent so shut up. Plus personally, I find 127 lbs to be a little on the chubby side, especially for 5’6″, your ribs would NOT be showing. You failed to mention if you get too light or don’t eat enough that your bimbo will get sick and die, thus proving they encourage you to stay healthy.

  22. Hey, im Alannah and im 11 years old, i play missbimbo and, hey i think its ok to have 11 and 10 year olds playing and you know why? wel ill tell you because i started playing it when i was nine it didnt make me want to go and have breast surgery and face surgery and all that crap, sure, i admit too that its a weird game but it didnt encourage me when i was younger to have lots of different types of surgery!

    so you should stop getting yourself so worked up over nothing!!!!!

  23. Hi!
    I had so much fun while reading your article. But first, please excuse my English, I am just fuckin Czech.

    I am mum of three years old princess and I play Miss Bimbo. I love it. It let “me” wear crazy dresses and skin tan, use haircuts and colors i would never try in real not to scare my family. That´s why I like it so much – I know it´s NOT REAL – and that´s the best about that. And did you know the average age of MissBimbo players is 19? Good luck with your misanthropy!

    P.S.: My weight is 127lbs and I assure no ribs can be seen! 🙂

  24. miss bimbo isnt as bad as you make it seem i wont lie and say there is nothing wrong with it but really it isnt gonna make kids wanna go out and have surgery because its a “GAME” seriously…. get a grip im 13 and i am appalled by half of the stuff you said

    the game itself is French, which explains the high level of debauchery and unsavoryness (you know how those fuckin french people are).

    (sorry, darkies! you’re not included in this fountain of fun! or in society’s idea of beauty!)

    what is your problem do you even understand how ignorant and rascist you sound i am personally offended by the word “Darkies”

    “then i decided that im just not gonna have kids. ever.”

    and maybe you shouldnt have kids since you probably wouldnt know how to keep the from being influenced by certain things that dont involve some internet game

  25. You wish you knew

    Please – I know this might sound a bit rude but I mean you no harm – get a life. You’re reading way too much into this GAME! If you really want to get a kick out of complaining then check out some games that are really bad for young people like Grand Theft Auto and so many other games for boys like that where the goals aren’t buying lots or outfits or breaking up with a boyfriend but killing people, running away from the police, breaking countless laws and just being plain evil. I mean how come people like you never look into games like that but when it comes to bit a fun for girls that shouldnt cause anyone who is the right age or in the right state of mind any harm you get your panties in a twist. Just stop it and accept that this is just a GAME! None of it’s real and if anyone who plays it later develops anorexia or bulemia then there was something wrong with them before they started playing the game because why would anyone want to look like a doll.

    And for your information, the ‘diet pills’ you talk about aren’t diet pills but they are in fact medicine pills for when you bimbo gets ill. So get you facts right before you decide to waste your time typing a whole load of crap.

    Thank You

  26. lol! the miss bimbo swat team came out of nowhere. if 19 years olds are playing miss bimbo they need some social stimulation and a job. these girls who play this game should be out living life. blargh. got back to miss bimbo.com and leave my girl brokey alone!

  27. miss bimbo is awesome. sure theres crap in it, but its a reaally fun game. your just a controling fag who wants to make the world steral for kids

  28. I think it would help the case of those that play ‘miss bimbo’ to use proper grammar and spelling. Otherwise…yeah i’m SO judging you’re little illiterate behinds.

    Just kidding, i’m judging you anyway.

  29. The children are our future!!!!
    and lol @ Tasha.

  30. I’d blame the parents if a 9 yr old was playing a game like that. Not the game. And anyone can see the irony in this. Really, your outburst is just hilarious.

  31. This game is great:) It taught me everything I know about giving a man what he needs to stay with you. You need to fuck him, and look perfect.

  32. DON’T PLAY THIS GAME. it has changes a lot lately, and it is being censors dramatically. The owners doesn’t communicate, the website is poorly maintained and rarely updated and so on.

    On topic. I have been playing missbimbo, and I’m still not on diet pills and doesn’t have plasic boobs. I find it really difficult to understand the hype about this game, when you look at most online games, it’s about killing. Maybe I’m alone on this one, but murder does seem worse to me than a boobjob.

  33. i agree with Julie, the sight isn’t very well maintained, the moderators are complete control freaks, and certain “star bimbos” are given special treatment over others, ie, allowed to be rude to other players in the forums.

    and BTW to whoever said al the players are like 9-14 years old, the vast majority of “hard core bimbos” seem to be over 25, and believe they know everything about the world and everyone should pay attention to them lol.

  34. Holy, bashing the french? Really, isn’t that lovely and makes you so much better then the miss bimbo team? I think not, I am fully bilingual and find it quite offensive that you say “(you know how those fuckin french people are)” may I ask how exactly are those French people? Most French people speak French and English, but yet I rarely see an English person trying to speak French, so I say those fucking English people need to stop bashing French!! Anyways, to my point on miss bimbo, I am a 21 year old, who has been playing miss bimbo for about 2 years. Its a great game, its all about fashion and fun. And if parents are letting their children who are 9 or whatever the age may be where they are so impressionable, is it really the miss bimbo teams fault that their parents don’t pay close attention to what their child is doing on the internet? Have you thought that quite possibly this game was intended for young adults, late teenagers? If a child is playing this game and feels fat or that they need cosmic surgery, it falls completely on their parents shoulders!! Said parent needs to control internet access, or watch when their online, really isn’t that difficult. Speak to your kids, tell them that the bimbo game is meant to be for adults not children, block it from your computer there are many things that a parent could do to prevent their child from playing.

  35. hahaha its perty hilarious to see yoou guuuys argue back and forth xD hahaha u guys its a game let people play it if they want and if u think miss bimbo is swell, hey go ahead and defend if you really want its your time your wasting not mine :3 (and yah i didnt use grammar because i type things fast and rlly dont spell check dont gimme your crap)

  36. I agree with blayuh, I mean you have some issues.. No one would ever try to look like her bimbo , it’s a game! And no one would think to do the same..

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