Monthly Archives: May 2008

since naked FOL girls are all the rage

here’s a helping hand to all the people (and there are a lot of yall lil nasties)  who come to my blog (of all places) lookin for nakey pictures of Candace Cabrera, aka Black from Flavor of Love 3, courtesy of media take out.  typical bikini pics.  no nipples, no vajayjays.  she is topless in a couple, so open with care.  if you get fired for lookin at this shit at work, please know that that is your own horny little fault.

cheers!

ps – here’s a sex tape supposedly featuring buckeey.  dont say i aint never gave u nothin.

pps – if your dumbass gets fired for clickin any of those links on the clock, then u deserved it.  cheers again!

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michael winslow is either an alien or a damn dirty fraud

cause really, there’s no way any human should be able to do this:

wtf!

*i stole this from D @ aggregatedope.

 

petition to hillary: get some actright! :: lol @ mccain’s life

sort of a tie-in with the post about mccain’s 175th birthday shindig the day the katrina hit, i have two things for you.

the first is a petition that a compadre of mine worked up, basically tellin hillary ‘looka here.  your people are mangy racists who are gonna plunge this country into peril and we’re gonna need you to do somethin abt that k thanks bye.”

its addressing the fact that so many of hillary’s followers would rather vote for mccain or just not vote at all rather than vote for obama.  and that brings me to my second item:

you’d rather vote for this guy?  really?

…how many chromosomes are u missing?

and wtf is up with that creepy blink he does?  it makes my insides itch.  in a bad way.

bush & mccain: ‘let us eat cake!’

im such a dirty thief today.  apologies, but i really wanted to share this with ppl.

ever wonder what mccain and bush were doing on August 29th, 2005, the day that Hurricane Katrina hit?

they were totally gettin crunk with a birthday cake celebrating mccain’s 278th 69th birthday.  barack and al gore were busy trying to save NOLA, though.  party poopers!

“mmm.. baby tears and destruction! your favorite!”

 

a general list of celebrity crackheads

i dont know if this is a countdown list or what.. im thinking it cant be, cause the biggest (crack)rock stars arent in the top 20, in my humble opinion.

anyway, i just stole this from popcrunch.  it contains all your favorite puffers and blowers–Snoop, Bobby & Whitney, DMX, Big Baby Jesus, Andy Dick, etc etc.  but i was surprised at some of the folks listed, like Orlando Brown and Haley Joel Osmet, the cute little muppet who saw dead people.  smh.  save the babies!

you won’t be at all surprised by who got #1.  very deserving.

http://www.popcrunch.com/busted-100-celebrities-arrested-for-drug-possession/

gratuitous keston karterness.

okay, so i know that a fair portion of the female constituents that chit chat on this blog have an aversion to keston because of the gay that seems to coat his visual appearance, but.  *i* still think he’s nice to look at  and more importantly, my blog gets a lot of hits from people searchin for him, and this is a blatant ploy to get even more hits by making another keston karter entry.

so.  all about keston karter.  + lots and lots of pics.  naked pics.  NAKED KESTON KARTER.  TOTALLY NOODE.

|source|

keston karter was born a small irish child on the east side of boston in 1975.  at the age of 7, he took up with a band of pickpocketing vagrants.  one chilly november evening, he picked the pocket of the neighborhood sourceress, in disguise as an old unsuspecting lady with wads of $100 bills falling from her pockets.  an obvious target, keston took the bait; to punish him, the sorceress (who was racist, which is a given, being from boston and all) decided to punish him with the worst fate she could think of:  turning him into a black man.  keston later grew to be the most gorgeous thing she had ever seen.  he also sued her for entrapment on the grounds that that little stunt she pulled set him up Marion Berry style.

keston took the money he won from his brillion dollar lawsuit and moved to the city of lights, the city that never sleeps, the city where dreams are born and legends are made:  nutbush, tennessee.  while there, he cut a multi-record deal with Holly Parton (dolly’s adopted cousin’s stepmother’s brother’s third baby mama), but holly soon left the outfit, claiming that she was “too punk-rock for this.”  she went on to move to england and become kelly osbourne, son daughter of the famous ozzy osbourne, and keston fell into a deep depression, the effects of which were lessened only by gambling and listening to ‘natural woman’ by aretha franklin.

his saving grace came when, in 1986, keston threw up on danny devito’s shoes.  outraged, danny went batshit crazy and tried to shatter keston’s shins with the toe of his shoe, kicking furiously.  unable to actually reach keston’s shins, however, danny left the scene, dejected, and vowed to find him again one day.  and he did just that; in 2002, danny tracked keston down to have him audition for the part of Jonesie in his upcoming show Reno 911.  keston did a spectacular job and was called back to read for the part again.  “keston, i have to say, you did a great job and you’d be perfect for the role,” danny said, but then screamed  “TOO BAD I HATE YOU!  YOU THREW UP ON MY SHOES, I AINT GIVIN YOU SHIT!”

ruminating on what had just happened, and on his life in general, keston proclaimed, “fuck this, ima just take my shirt off and get paid for it!”  he then walked outside the building, took his shirt off, and money began to fall at his feet.

the end.

*all pics except the 2nd are from kestonkarter.com, as is an alternate biography.  im pretty sure mines is most accurate, though.

no girls has ever say no.

i wasnt even plannin an entry tonight but im sittin here watchin the flavor of love 3 finale and i just heard those words come out of flavor flav’s mouth.

“no girls has ever say no.”

…i think ive finally found r. kelly’s equally illiterate ghostwriter.

he and thing two will be happy together (its so transparent that that’s who he’s gonna pick).

‘oh flav, this is so SPESHOW!  when i seen you at the FUNEROW i was so sad inside but this moment is so ROMANTIKOW!’

OH SHIT

i was right, he just chose thing two.. and HE GAVE HER SOME GOLD TEETH

DO THEY HAVE THE GAPS IN THE UPPER AND BOTTOM ROW LIKE SHE DOES??

I CANT SEE!  DEAR LORD, I MUST SEE!

I GOT $5 FOR ANYBODY WHO CAN PROVIDE A PICTURE!  PLEASE MOSES!  PLEASE LET THIS HAPPEN FOR ME!!