so. this ashley todd mccain mugging business. UPDATE: she confessed.

****update on the update.  looks like the little ratfink confessed.  she really, REALLY better apologize to EVERYBODY b/c there’s nobody that she hasn’t run afoul of with this story.  she insulted obama supporters, mad mccain supporters look bad, and clearly thought that the entire nation was dumb enough to believe that wack ass B and sparkly makeup black eye.  i mean it, i want a joe the plumber type press conference held in her driveway with jimmy swaggart ‘I HAVE SINNED AGAINST YOU!!’ type tears.

simple bitch.  ugh.

**update:  lol, folks are ON IT.  check out ashleyislying.wordpress.com for more details & inconsistancies**

as a woman, i wont lie.  it is my inclination to believe a woman’s claims of being attacked by a man, because im of the opinion that it’s more dangerous to disbelieve such claims and be incorrect than it is to believe them and be wrong.  i’m a woman’s woman, what can i say.

but flat out, this story is WAAAY too fishy for me to be believing.

if you havent heard, check this link.  quick synopsis:

-woman in pittsburgh @ an atm gets roughed up and robbed at knifepoint.  cool, i can believe that.

-the assault happens out of eyeshot of the security cameras.  at a bank.  you know how many security cameras are strung up at banks?  whatever tho.. sometimes the stars align in such a way and things happen.

-at some point, he notices that the girl has a McCain bumper sticker on her car, gets incensed, decides to ‘teach her a lesson’ (supposedly a direct quote from him to the girl) and proceeds to rough her up, ending with the carving of the letter ‘B,’ presumably for ‘Barack’ into her face.

*RECORD SCRATCH*

what?!  like.  …what??!  do we even need to talk abt why this is suspicious?  how does a man who has just robbed and beat up a woman have the time or presence of mind, what with all the ‘GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE BEFORE YOU GET CAUGHT! adrenaline coursing through his veins, to just hang around and watch her go to her car AND peep the bumper sticker??  what kind of man who apparently feels that he has to rob someone to get money rationalize potentially getting caught by sticking around some more to make a political statement???  if you in the streets like that, how are politics that heavy on your mind??  

no, i say.  here’s where she needs more people, in the immortal words of Jay-Z, and i need to see a picture.  and im in luck.  

the ‘B’ is backwards.

.

unless she took this picture while aiming her camera at a mirrored reflection, this would mean that the mugger, frantic & hopped up on adrenaline, and armed with a knife, wrestling with a struggling victim and pressed for time, steadied himself AND her enough to SCRATCH–not carve–a pretty steadily formed letter into her face, taking care not to apply too much pressure to break the skin with his knife (note:  knifes are typically pretty sharp), and concentrated enough to, for some reason, write the letter BACKWARDS.

come on, now.

i highly encourage you to check out what the intellects (ha) at okayplayer are saying on it.  there’s some pretty delicious conspiracy theorizing going on, and this time it actually makes sense.  things get suspiciouser (ie – after the attack, she refused medical attention and, though she didn’t know where she was, managed to make her way to a friend’s house in an unfamiliar city/part of time.  …riiiiight).

what i wanted to call attention to though, is her myspace page.  her quote reads:  lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off, but it’s better if you do.

…wooooow. i almost stood up and said ‘no further questions, your honor’ after that.  then i realized i would have been talking to myself and decided against it.  also, it looks like she took one of those annoying little quizzes that myspacers seem to love to take and share with everyone (‘I’M A CARRIE!  WHICH SEX IN THE CITY BROAD ARE YOU?!’).  this one asks the question, ‘how will you die?’  her result:  ‘political assasination.’

Your obsession with power will eventually be the end of you when you’re shot down by members of your own cabinet.

Rough way to go. We recommend writing up a good will, and shredding any documents that might paint you as a shady character. The last thing you need is your political legacy being destroyed when greedy relatives ransacking your mansion discover that you plagiarized your book report in fourth grade.

…yeah.  either Dionne Warwick really does have some psychic abilities, or…. yeah.

plus, she twittered about it.  OMG THIS IS SO SCARY!  WHAT DO I DO WHAT DO I DO??  I KNOW, I’LL TWEET!  wtf.  give me a break please, someone.  expeditiously.

even that hardcore conservative chick doesn’t believe it.  and if SHE has decided to put down her cup of koolaid on this one, i think we could all stand to look twice at this pot of bullshit stew.

sorry, ash.  you’re walkin this one without me, my sister.

thanks to okp for all the links & theorem.

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4 responses to “so. this ashley todd mccain mugging business. UPDATE: she confessed.

  1. blogging this as fast as I can over at http://ashleyislying.wordpress.com/ .

    btw okp al_sharp got cited at wonkette. lulz.

  2. This is utterly ridiculous and super-racist.

    I’m loving it.

  3. LOL Dude… I’m LMFAO over here.

  4. Pingback: Pants On Fire. « PostBourgie

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