dear reality tv show industry:
what the fuck, man?
okay, so. shit happens in life. people get crushes and fall in love and have babies. people get crushes and have one night stands and have pregnancy scares. people fuck. a lot. all the time. people deal with illnesses and and addiction and grief. people get fat and lose weight and sometimes get fat again. people go completely, totally, batshit nutjob crazy insane. people pretend to be attracted to old unattractive semi-washed up hip hop icons to get ahead. this is life. this is reality. and as such, it’s all shit that we see on reality tv everynight, from mtv’s the real world to the biggest loser to celebrity rehab with dr drew (who just may have a little bit of sex appeal to him, but i havent decided yet. i digress) to age/rock/flavor of love. this is life, and this is what us voyuers want to see. we need to believe that it isnt scripted, even when it so plainly is (I’M LOOKING AT YOU, THE HILLS). we need to believe that no one knows the cameras are there, even during those little interviews where you prompt participants with the necessary questions to make a good show. we need to feel like we’re perched high up in a tree planted right smake in the middle of the open, unfenced fields of these people’s minds, that we’re flies on their walls, that what we’re seeing on screen would actually happen in real life. because that’s the point, right? reality tv. reality is happy, its sad. it’s dancing and being danced with. its singing, its crying, it being disagreed with. sometimes its being called a “nigger;” sometimes it’s being spat upon. often following that, it’s having one’s ass beat for spitting upon someone or calling someone a “nigger.”
and that’s where shit becomes COMPLETELY unrealistic.
LET THEM CATS FIGHT, MAN!
yo man. i dont get it. this is part of life! one of the rawest, realest parts of it at that. i mean sure, tv production companies, you have liabilities and lawsuits to protect yourself from. but you know what? that shit is reality too! people get sued everyday! that’s LIFE. if you wanna do this reality tv shit, then you need to *committ* to it. do it aaaall the way. that’s my opinion, at least.
i mean think about it. people get spat at and on in “reality” tv and im supposed to believe that people dont fight after that? come on! this is inspired by last night’s episode of “rock of love charm school,” by the way, where brandi c lobbed a literal mouthful of spit at destiny, hitting her right beneath the eye and sludging aaaaaaaalll down her face. it wasnt that ol bitch ass digitized spit from the pumkin/new york incident. this was the gooey, stringy, smelly kind. it looked like it smelled anyway. and destiny didnt touch her. possibly because destiny isnt that type of person. also potentially (read: likely) because she knew she’d get kicked off the show if she did. who knows? since the number one rule is no fighting, its hard to make a good call here.
i think this is bullshit. i mean, my myself personally? if im on a reality show and i get spat at or on, i’m doing everything in my power to beat that motherfucker until one of us collapses. not because i’m a violent person. not because i dont have any regard for the show that im on or the opportunity it may bring. not because i dont really care about the aging, fading star that i’m trying to bust it baby for. but beacuse, yo! THAT MOTHERFUCKER SPAT ON ME! that should be a totally understandable response! even flavor flav told new york he would have understood if she whooped pumkin’s ass after she spat at/on her. come on! this is LIFE! sometimes people need they asses whooped!
this is sort of like the problem with violent movies and video games. you got cats runnin all around the creation, killin people, carjackin folks, stealin money and shit, and they never get punished for it. you dont see nary a cop car, and if you do, the cops will likely be dead or outsmarted soon by the criminal in question. the argument has long been that it sends the wrong message to our young youths, and i’m gonna make the same argument with people not fighting on reality tv. sometimes, babies, sometimes people need they asses kicked. that’s life. that’s reality.
let them cats fight, yo.
Brokey McPoverty and the Undersigned*.
*that sounds sorta like a band name, dont it? Thursday night! Live at the Civic Center! Brokey McPoverty and the Undersigned!!