Monthly Archives: December 2008

is… is that an ab??

MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS INDEED!!!

commence:  obama lust

initiate moist panniedrawls in T-5… 4… 3… 2…

what is wrong with groovin?

i am completely in love with this song and this woman. i stumbled across it one night whilst listening to random songs played by this guy. neither of us had heard it before, nor had we heard of the artist. her name is letta mbulu and sister got PIPES. i read up on her a little bit; she’s south african, born & raised in soweto, fled in the 60s to escape apartheid, ended up a jazz singer in america singing and working with some really big names. holla @ wikipedia for more detailed info.

so after hearing that song i went and intended to youtube and omg, she has sooo much wonderful music.  she’s still alive, and still making music; her latest album came out in 2005.  i really, really want to share ‘what is wrong with groovin’ with yall.  its been in my head for days and it’s just aces.  just aces!

i’m also putting up ‘music in the air’ b/c it is also aces as well in addition to ‘what is wrong with groovin’ too.  thank me later!

a very unfortunate picture of michael jackson.

so. i lifted these from listoftheday.

here’s michael jackson some days ago out in public wearing a zorro mask for reasons that i’m sure have even sweet baby jesus mystified. and now, here’s michael getting into his ride:

is… is that… is that a collage of naked babies sticking out of that bag?

:/

wtf, ikea?

dear ikea:

hi!  it’s me, brokey.  i was just in your store a couple weeks ago.  bought a neat new cover for my couch, and a really nice entertainment center that was a bitch and a half to put together, and a bunch of things for my kitchen.  i spend lots of money at your store.  but honestly?  you finna fuck it up and lose all my dollars.  here’s why:

im gon give you herpes with my mind!

"i'm gon give you herpes with my mind!"

i flat out do not approve of these commercials you got spreadin around with that creepy lady creepin all up in people’s spots just bein creepy.  like, why?  is that what’s gonna happen when i get some ikea shit?  she gon appear in my bed talkin crazy?  IN MY BED???

for real, this is like burger king creepiness.  whoppers are tasty enough for me to tolerate waking up to the burger king though.  i think i’ll quit ikea before i come home to Sister Jenkins layin out on my couch in her sock feet watching me with a knowing smirk that says:  ‘ …..uh-HUH.’

hell no, ikea. hell no.

sincerely,

b.mc.p

ps – the instructions included with that entertainment center were SO SCREWED UP.  i totally had to figure out like 4 omitted steps by myself!  i almost said ‘fuck it’ and made a squirrel house.  but i hate squirrels so i went ahead with it anyway.  lucky for you i am a genius and it worked out.

…. of the day, part 2

..what in blue farting fuck?!??

the trying-to-fill-big-shoes girls club

two episodes into the new season of ‘the bad girls club’ and im making this face:

i mean its not that its boring.  it’s got the makings of good soap opera fodder.  its just not tanisha running around bangin pots & pans & imploring everybody to pop off, or nasty ass whats-her-face pissing in sinks and juice cartons.  lol.  i wldnt call the new chicks ‘bad’ necessarily.  or maybe its just that i wldnt call them ‘bad’ compared to the girls from last season.  this season’s group is… annoying.  really annoying.  they yell and scream and cry over nothing all the damn time.  ugh.

i wonder if its maybe because the girls seem so much younger this season than last?  i mean all of them look and act like they’re in their early 20s, and that’s what girls in their early 20s (typically & stereotypically) do.  yell, cry, scream, and cry.  i dont know how old tanesha nem were, but they seemed older, and one of the chicks from the season before, in my opinion, was pushin her late 30s & lyin about it.  lol. 

i dunno.  so far its corny compared to last season.  but i think anything would be after all those shenanigans.

im gonna watch anyway though 😦  lol 

a quick rundown of this season’s brats:

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im so buying andy samberg’s album.

so generally in snl skits, andy samberg is just alright.  he’s good for funny freeze faces.  but where he really shines?  the digital short music vids.  ‘jizz in my pants’ is pretty much gonna be my song of the week.

turns out this is the first single from his comedy trio The Lonely Island.  dude.  i am aaaaaaaaaall over this shit!  andy’s clearly a great writer, and he’s got a knack for putting words + melody together and mixin in some funny and comin out with some great stuff, as evidenced by lazy sunday, dick in a box, and natalie portman’s rap.    ‘jizz in my pants,’ lyrics & funny aside, is actually a good song!  lol the breakdown is *hot* and the whole thing sounds very timbaland/justin timerlakeish.

speaking of justin timberlake, i move that they just go ahead and make him part of the SNL cast already.  he’s there like every week!

and in closing, here’s andy’s ‘space olympics’ for good measure.  more info on the lonely island here.

who unremixed the remix?

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ive been thinking abt this for quite awhile.  remember when remixes were remixes?  i mean like, completely different songs?  what happened  to that?  when did that stop?  it’s like i just woke up one day and noticed that ppl were just takin original songs, slappin some wack verse by some random rapper on em and calling it a remix.  that’s it.  just lil somebody or young whoever talkin bout bullshit.

young people, this is NOT how you do it.  that aint a remix; its an added verse.  i want REAL remixes back!   mix up the melody, do somethin different with the beat.  a different mix, of the song.  a re-mix, if you will.  A REMIX.

you know, my soul is basically always at odd with puffy poppa diddy puff, but i will give him credit:  that man could appreciate a remix.  i’ll draw the line at him sayin he invented the shit, but.  as a good example of what a remix should be, i’d like to put beneath the microscope 2 of mary j. blige’s best albums ever:  ‘what’s the 411’ and the ‘what’s the 411’ remix album.

o yes.  i said *remix album.*

we can’t get a decent SINGLE remix today, but back then?  n!ggas had ENTIRE REMIX ALBUMS.  OF REAL REMIXES.

here’s one of my favorite songs, ‘love no limit.’  this is the original.

now, here’s the remix.

i dont even have to say too much.  aint nobody rappin on this shit.  they’re not bein lazy and resting on that being the difference.  they kept essentials & made a totally different song.  and my soul screams YES! (c) probably the name of some wack ass chitlin circut play starring christopher williams & stony jackson.  and here’s another good one:  ‘let’s get married’ by jagged edge, original & remix.  this is one of the two reasons i respect jermaine dupri.  to be honest with you, i can’t remember reaon #2.

meanwhile, let’s look at ashanti’s ‘rain on me‘ and its “remix.”

.

that’s not a remix, that’s a LIE.

this is my official petition to re-remix the remix.  because these new jack jerks are too damn young to be so lazy.

early onset thanksgiving-induced itis

thanksgiving-08-velvs-card-pics-251

this is my nephew.  he’s the cutest, cuddliest, most unfriendliest thing ever.  he, his dad/my brother, and my mom drove aaaaaaaall the way up from ky to spend thanksgiving with me and im just getting around to posting these pictures.

here’s some of what we cooked:

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after this became this, we noticed that the baby was unnaturally quiet and found him knocked out on the floor by the couch.

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its pretty much the youngest case of the itis ive ever seen. and the cutest.  🙂

this is extra super duper late, but i hope everyone’s thanksgiving was as delicious and fuzzy as mine.  it wasnt cuter though.  no way it could have been cuter than that!

what would jesus wear?

so designers everywhere are clamoring to get michelle’s bits and pieces into their designs for her boo’s inauguration.  i just took a look at some of the sketches and she’s got some great choices!  unfortunately, she has some sucky ones too.

these caught my eye, for better or for worse:

 

 

 

Monique Lhullier.  i really like this one because i think michelle’s skin tone carries red really, really well, and she’s got like 1800 miles of legs to rock that dress with.  perfect for the length and flourish of the dress.  go nique!

 

 

 

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