of course, i was glue to american idol last night, seeing as how the auditions of the night were held in my grand ol hometown of Louisville, Ky. don’t get me wrong. as soon as i was able i ran like hell away from that city in search of more exciting places and things, hence me currently living in Philadelphia. but make no mistake, i looooooooooves me some Louisville AND some Kentucky and will smack all your mothers in the mouths if you say anything too slick about it. on my ‘smack ur mama’ list this morning: simon, paula, new judge girl, and randy.
so this kid auditions right. actually seemed like a nice guy. prototypical corn fed good ol boy. he had a bit of… i dunno, nervousness about him–or maybe i said he had an air about him that could very well make others nervous. he seemed just a little.. i dont know. not creepy, but… he said he almost died about 5 times in his life, crashing through stuff and falling off of stuff and whatnot. i can only assume that there were some head injuries sprinkled around in there, and he seemed to have a bit of a tick or something. he didn’t stay still very long. i guess that could be off-putting.
anyway, kid’s name is mark mudd, jr., great-great-some odd grandson of dr. samuel mudd, who patched up the ankle of john wilkes booth after he broke it jumpin off the balcony of ford’s theatre after killing president lincoln. i thought that was awesome. only because im a history nerd, though. **note: mark mudd and ryan seacrest incorrectly told america that the whole grandfather incident is where we get the expression “my/your name is mud” from. that’s actually incorrect. teach the babies right, america.
so anyway, he sings and he sucks. the judges, per usual, are pretty rude, laughin in his face and all, but he actually takes it pretty well. good ol southern gentleman for you. very gracious. before he leaves, he’s even kind enough to turn to them and say “be careful,” and here is where our bullshittery begins.
i’m at work right now, so i cant see this link; its supposed to be a link to mudd’s audition. can someone click it and let me know if it works, please?
if it works: omg did u see that shit??
if it didnt work, here’s what happened: so mudd turns to them and says “be careful” and the judge motherfuckers start flippin out!! “be careful? is that a threat? be careful of what?? that’s not a normal thing to say to someone! i’m calling out of work tomorrow!”
what idiots! what ignorant idiots! he wasnt threatening them, he was saying “take care.” it’s quite a normal part of your complete parting words. “alright then, i’ll talk to you later. yall be careful, hear?” just generally. whatever you finna go, whatever you finna do, be careful & take care of urself. dumb bitches.
i was also mad at all the rustic, country ass imagery they kept splicing in with shots of the city, effectively making it look like there are horse farms in downtown louisville. fyi – there are no horse farms in downtown louisville. there are buildings. and paved roads. just like any other city.
overall, this was a pretty cringeworthy visit. the “talent” was terrible, and its makin us look bad because 75% of them jokers werent even from louisville!
sigh. maybe next time, ‘Ville.
edit – if that link didnt work, i’m sure this one does.
*pic of louisville via this awesome guy.