your nappy ass roots: baby hair


AFROs most wanted: Chili & Ginuwine, notorious baby hairers

In 1962, a radical black nationalist organization called the AFROs (Afrikan Foundation for Righteous Out-of-sight Sons) was formed in Cleveland, Ohio.  By 1965, the group had caught the attention of both the FBI and the CIA, who recruited a small group of 5 black women to infiltrate the organization.  One of the women was Rashida Daniels, a licensed hair stylist, who soon fell in love with Bruno “Buddy” Sampson.

Rashida told Buddy of their association with the federal groups, and to help identify the other informants, Rashida decided to give them a sort of Star of David to identify them to the rest of the group.  When she next washed and styled their hair, she took a jar of pro-con gel, an old toothbrush, and a spraybottle of water and plastered some hair to their foreheads in an attempt to emulate the thin, whispy hair that babies have when they are young.  She assured them that they were trendsetters, and when they walked into the AFROs headquarters, they were immediately labled Uncle Toms (and all-around ridiculous for creating baby hair when they weren’t babies no damn more) and run out of town.

From then on, to this very day, those who purposely wear baby hair are considered all-around ridiculous embarrassments to the black race.

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4 responses to “your nappy ass roots: baby hair

  1. hehehehe.

    when i would draw portraits of myself in second grade, i would actually draw baby hair allover my forehead, even though i didn’t have any in “real” life.

    i was so jealous of my friends who managed to gel theirs down with jam. remember that stuff? it smelled so good, but i wasn’t allowed to use it. only pink lotion for me.

    this post took it home.

  2. i hate anyone outside of the age of 2 who has baby hair. and i hate anyone in 2009 that still gels that shit down. young or old. america or abroad.

  3. saw a black lady on 41st with a babyhair tattoo.

  4. Only the GOOD LAWD knows why Chilli’s been rocking that baby hurr for 20 years. She needs to step away from the ProDtyl Gel.

    And Ginuwine… I just can’t. No man should have baby hair. EVER

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