a lot of folks have been asking me how the big more has gone (if you’re just tuning in, i moved back to my homeland of Louisville, KY, after living in Philly, PA for about four years); how i like it, how things are goin, etc etc. i don’t know what it is about me, but sometimes i have, like, a mental block that keeps me to responding to comments and questions online and stuff. i can’t explain it but sometimes its just hard for me to do. so, for the convenience of all you nosey bastards out there, i decided to comprise a quick list of the 5 best and 5 worst things about the move, beginning with the best things and in no particular order:
ONE:the lower cost of living! in this economy, who wouldn’t enjoy having to pay less money to do necessary shit like eat, drink, have fun, and generally live? nobody, that’s who! no clearly, my broke ass hasn’t really had a chance to get out there and be too active on the capitalist playground, but i’m sure its common knowledge that smaller cities mean generally cheaper costs on generally general things. allow me to offer as an illustration these two craigslist ads, the first for a 1 bedroom apartment near the University of Pennsylvania in Philly, the second a 1 bedroom apartment near the University of Louisville in a similar neighborhood. and i’ll throw in a third: a TWO bedroom apartment in a similar Louisvillian neighborhood. not too shabby, eh? if i ever find a fricken job, i living here could get me to Richy von Moneyheimer status before we know it!
TWO:delicious tapwater!!! i’d bet all my money, all $15.62 of it, on this next statement here: Louisville has got some of the BEST tap water in the nation, i swear to bob. maybe i should mention that i’m not really a water snob; my tongue isn’t so sophisticated that it can tell a bottle of evian from a bottle of poland spring (but, incidentally, i *hate* smartwater… it feels slimy to me). but when it comes to tap water? man o man. now, i should also mention that philly tapwater is only, like, half a step up from nuclear sludge. and i’m not being hateful when i say that. first of all, there’s this study which found that even after treatment, philadelphia tap water contained 56 different medicines, more than any of the 61 other water providers tested. in addition to that, you can *see* it. literally. i had some dark blue hard plastic drinking cups while living up there that i had to stop drinking water out of because the chalky sediment and valium and whatever else was in there clinging too visibly to the inside of the cups. tastewise, it was okay as long as it was super duper ice ice baby cold. otherwise? forget it. so compared to that type of “water” (if you have the nerve to call it that), nearly any city’s tapwater may seem like cristal. but Louisville’s is different! its good! its just really really good!
THREE:delicious snacks! every city/town/state/villiage has its signature trademark foods and treats that you can only get inside or around the region. Philly has Tastykakes (which i never really liked) and cheesesteaks (sure they list them on menus around the nation, but if you dont get it from Philly, you aint really got a cheesesteak). since ive been back in Louisville, i’ve been gorging myself on a few treats that don’t exist on the east coast:
- Grippos. OMG OMG OMG. BEST MOTHERFREAKING CHIP EVER!!!!!! so crispy. so bbq-y. so sweet yet spicy. there is no chip greater, and they only sell them, from what i know, in the Ohio Valley (i think the headquarters is in Cincinnati, OH). the bad thing about them is that the bags are kind of volatile; the best Grippos bright red in color due to being coated in the Grippos bbq seasoning (WHICH YOU CAN NOW BUY AT KROGER, BTW!!!) and not every bag is heavily seasoned. on the whole though.. best chip ever.
- Big Red pop + gum. im not even a HUGE huge fan of either anymore, but when i was growin up? this and a bag of Grippos was like a daily snack. i just did a google search and discovered that Big Red is made in Texas. they don’t got it in PA though, so it still counts!
- Fried clams. okay, fried clams aren’t in any way specific to the Louisville area, but do you know what? for some reason, i could NOT find adequate fried clams in Philly! i couldnt even find INadequate fried clams there!! i thought that was the weirdest thing. i think the one time i had them in the city, i got them at a Long John Silvers, and NOBODY should ever eat at Long John Silvers. ick. but i loooove fried clams; i fell in love with them when my family used to go to Moby Dick at 20-somethin and Jefferson (when there was a Moby Dick there), and recently i fell in love with The Fish House in the Highlands. best. clams. ever.
FOUR:liquor at drugstores! TRULY a luxury that you don’t miss til you experience it. that little picture over there on the right (click to make it bigger) is an actual shot of an actual circular/advertisement from an actual Rite Aid here in the city. its pretty much self explanatory. here, not only can you find drugs, cheap kid’s toys, and gossip mags at your local drug store; you can also find a full spread of alcoholic beverages from hard liquor to cheap wine. let’s hear it for convenience! go get a bottle of Champipple, toothpaste, and aspirin for the ensuing hangover in one stop!
FIVE:no more Septa! praise God and pass the pasta! the late/brokedown/missing trolleys! the near complete halt of transportation at the slightest sign of rain/snow! the ridiculously high/ever increasing fares! the attitudinal drivers! the turtle-paced repair work on the rails! the damn escalator at 46th street station that never fucking worked! its all out of my hair now! oh lucky day!!!!!
and that’s that! tune in tomorrow for the 5 worst things! i thought i was going to be able to put it all up in one post, but my fingers are tired and attention is wavering. tootles!