Monthly Archives: August 2009

a wolf in shakira’s clothing

okay so yall remember when shakira could dance?

turns out that was all just lies and propaganda.  or maybe we just assumed that all the hip rolling and shaking stuff she did meant that if she ever had to do any other dancing, she’d be good at it.

well.  i just watch what i think is her latest video, ‘she wolf,’ and…

before i continue with my hate, let me point out the great things about this video.  she looks GREAT.  and the stuff in the cage (for the most part)?  very sexy.  okay, that’s all the good there is.

she looks INSANE!!  lol!  did someone choreograph this??  like take time to actually map out and time these moves?  i think maybe she just had everybody so fooled by the hip action that they were like ‘okay so for this video, we’re gonna have shakira dancing.  that’s pretty much it, she’s just gonna dance.  maybe we should get a choreographer?  nah, she’s shakira!  she can dance!  we’ll just let her wing it!’  and this is what they got.  now ive taken the liberty to point out some of her best moves.

at around the 0:35 mark, we get a good 5 seconds of the Vagina Slice

at 0:55 we get some kind of bizarro crazy modified version of crumping

we get a little more at 1:12

2:48 gives us some kind of weird arm action that i cant even think of an inventive name for

and as a big finale we’re treated to some batshit interpretive dance of some sort.

…if i ever walk in a club and catch one of yall dancin like this, ima whoop your ENTIRE ass.  promise.

oh and also the song is ass.  what’s with the tired little ‘awoooooooo’ wolf noise?  lol.  shakira, i hereby sentence you to a nap in hopes that you’ll wake up with some good sense.

follow me!

just a reminder to all you little tweety birds out there.. come find me!  follow me and get instant notice when new entries are posted, get top of the line commentary on what your favorite hot mess reality stars are doin, and witness the general ridiculousness of my everyday life.  the account is private, but send a request and i’ll add you!  unless we’re related!  in which case dont even bother!

🙂

that’s how we do it in louisville, son!

hes got 99 problems but a bitch aint.... oh wait, make that 100 problems.

he's got 99 problems but a bitch aint.... oh wait, make that 100 problems.

louisville doesn’t have any pro sports teams.  this may or may not be the reason behind why people here are so fanatical about college sports, particularly the university of louisville (that’s who all the cool louisvillians root for.. the lame loser dummies tend to go for UK).

i dunno how many people outside the region have been following this but.. rick pitino, u of l men’s basketball coach, is in some shit that i find pretty hilarisad (hilarious + sad.  keep up!).  i was told some details abt this scandal last night, and today was slipped a link to a NY Times article about it by a friend.  im sharing it because i really want to give you guys a picture of louisville and how it works.  this is a good snapshot.  this is how we get down in louisville.  we have supposedly open marriages and bang broads in the back of our restaurants and get them pregnant and then pay for their abortions and then get extorted for it all.  side note:  dont you hate it when people do that?  put completely random shit on their hometowns?  ‘that’s how we do it in nap-town, man!  we dont play!  we smack people in the face for NOTHIN!  that’s just what we do!’  ‘who, me?  yeah, i threw a block of cheese at her head.  why?  because shit, that’s how we do it in milwaukee, yo!  we throw blocks of cheese at people, that’s just how we get down!’

anyway.  all that happened/is happening to rick pitino at the moment.  its all detailed in the article.  what isnt in the article, though, is that after the extorting broad in question started getting a little too clingy, she was pretty much passed on to rick’s equipment manager, who subsequently wifed her up.  three years later, wifey catches equipment manager doin the grown-up dance with rick pitino’s son, then tries to use that to her advantage.  that’s what the streets are sayin, anyway.  but i aint one to gossip, so you aint heard that from me!  no you havent!

and i just heard on the news that pitino could lose his job over all this due to a morality clause in his contract.  lol.  what a dummy.

craigslist + job searching in a small city = :(

ugh.

so if you pay attention to the ridiculousness that goes on around here, i appreciate you.  i also assume that you know that i moved outta philly back home to louisville, kentucky, and that im jobless as a motherfreaker right now.  been job searchin in the daytime with a flashlight and in the night time with a… flashlight (sometimes my metaphors don’t work all the way right) and comin up empty handed.

now back in philly, i had a GREAT job.  omg.  best job ever in the world in the history of life.  i found it via craigslist.  i also think i found my apartment via craigslist too when i first got to the city.  i thought it was so cool man.. so many people used it, and it made life really convenient.  shopping, selling, searching, craigslist was *it*.

so i get home and when i start my search, i immediately head to craigslist.  not as much goin on for louisville’s craigslist as there is for philly’s, but there were some really good lookin jobs up there!  i felt confident that i, with all my talent, charms, and wit, wouldn’t be without a job long.

FOUR WEEKS LATER.  i am still living in my mama’s attic watchin tv court shows in my sweats all day.  wtf, craigslist!??!

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real reality rundown: real chance of love + real housewives of atl

okay.  so since i love you guys, i decided long ago that i would watch all the mind-numbing, IQ-killing trashy reality tv so that you won’t have to, thus saving your precious brain cells.  as far as real housewives of ATL goes, this is working out well for me–i LOVE this damn show!!!  oh man.  its full of ridiculousness.  its like a buffet of ignorance and i just can’t get a plate full enough.

as for real chance of love… im struggling there so far.  i thought about trying to watch megan wants a millionaire, but i have to think about myself a little bit.  that’s a little too much like self-harm.

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vote vote vote!

if you dont, youll make the civil rights movement cry.

if you dont, you'll make the civil rights movement cry.

okay so we saw what happens when black folk actually get out and vote.  black people get elected president!  let’s do it again!

one of my favorite blogs, PostBourgie,  is up for a 2009 black weblog award in the best political/news blog category and they really, really need/deserve/ought to win.  got 60 seconds?  remember what  barack taught you?  put it to use here!  vote vote vote!

if you do, GD himself will mail you a dollar!  serious*!!

*SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!