god’s new year resolution.

i think it was to send you all a gospel version of the electric slide/cha cha slide/cupid shuffle.

heard this on the radio.  it’s called the ‘sanctified slide.’  heard it in the car the other day.  immediately said to myself ‘SWEET MOSES, PLEASE LET THERE BE A VIDEO.’  and you know what?  there totally is.

i’m not sure why all of this made me so happy.  i think i just like it when they make gospel versions of things that weren’t gospel in the first place.  like if they made a gospel version of ‘pumps and a bump?’ i’d actually buy it.  i haven’t bought a CD since 1999.  damn a CD, even, i’d get that on cassingle.  i also really like the dude calling out the moves.  Jr. Deacon Thompson.  in his pink tommy polo.  i bet he wears that to every 1st Corinthian Leather Baptist Church picnic.

for those of you dancing along at home, the dance steps are as follows:

1 – walk in the spirit (even the spirit appreciates a good two-step)

2 – shake the devil off (did u know that jesus harlem shook lucifer away during the temptation on the mount?)

3 – stomp satan lower  (satan: “ARISE, MINIONS!  TONIGHT WE SHALL TORMENT THE EARTH AND CURSE ALL THAT IS—wait.. wait a second… is that Sister Jenkins orthopedic nursing shoes i’m feeling?  shit.  we gotta try this again tomorrow night, guys.”)

4 – dance like david danced (apparently, after slaying goliath, he threw his hands in the air and proceeded to wave them as if he just didn’t care.  in a circle.)

GO IN PEACE + SIN NO MORE.  also, clap, clap-clap your hands.  amen.

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11 responses to “god’s new year resolution.

  1. i’m just simply stuck on this sentence —

    i bet he wears that to every 1st Corinthian Leather Baptist Church picnic.

    lolz forever.

  2. Likin’ the new digs, Brokey!

    Oh, and I can’t watch the above video right now because just from reading your written description, I’m ‘fraid I’ll bust into a crying dying laughter here at work. I’m savin’ this ish for at home.

    • Ok, I looked. And laughed. And died. And why does he say “walk” with such a goofy emphasis when he says “walk in the spirit”?

      • thanks for scopin out the new layout! i dont think i like it yet. lol. at the very least im not used to it. it’ll grow on me tho!

        and yeah i found that really funny too. WOWK in duh speeret!

      • WOLK IN THE SPIRT WOLK IN THE SPIRIT

        this is actually hurting my ribs…the uninterested Satan Shake Offs are killing me

  3. Was that a Disco Ball in a church on that video?

  4. “Sister Jenkins orthopedic nursing shoes”
    *killt*

    Stop all that snigglin’!!

  5. Wow, I learn something new everyday! That’s crazy!

  6. There is a new one… “Electrified By Jesus Line Dance”. Google it. This stuff is fun. Good clean fun.

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