SACRAMENTO, California–California state senator Roy Ashburn was arrested for DUI Wednesday morning. The senator reportedly got into his car drunk after leaving a gay club–ironic, considering his steadfast stance against gay rights. Ashburn has released an official apology and statement on the incident:
I am deeply sorry for my actions and offer no excuse for my poor judgement. I accept complete responsibility for my conduct and am prepared to accept the consequences for what I did.
About that whole gay club part, though, I want to make this perfectly clear: I’m totally not gay. I wasn’t at the gay club because I was, like, doin’ gay stuff or lookin’ for gay stuff to do. I initially got there at first because–well okay, here’s what happened, okay? So I’m out driving around and I see this pregnant lady, and she’s on fire. So of course I have to stop and help her. So I pull over and I go to look for her and I think I see her go into this place called the Pink Pole, and I’m not thinking at this point “oh, this must be a gay club!” I’m just thinking, “man, I have to find this pregnant lady who was totally on fire!” So I walk in there and I’m all, “hey, pregnant lady, where are you? You can’t be in here right now, you’re totally on fire!” And then I look around and I didn’t see the lady but I saw all this gay stuff happening and I thought it would be a good time to talk to these young men and figure you why they were doing what they were doing, so I sat down at the bar and was talking to this young man and he bought me a beer and then I bought a few more, but it was only so I’d have something to do while I was talking to this kid and trying to figure out how I can strengthen my crusade against gay stuff. But me? Nope. Totally not gay.
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you are a mess…
This is fantastic. When he delivers his apology speech via press conference, he should hire the folks who designed Tiger’s set.
I freakin’ love this! LOL!
Can we please just make these people* go away already??
*Closeted right-wingers.
Why is it that the biggest anti-gay individuals usually end up in some scandal announcing how they really feel?
repression’s a hell of a drug.
More like Roy ASSburn!!!!
No?
THAT was an official press release!!! Surely not!!!!!!!!!