Monthly Archives: March 2010

Roy Ashburn: Totally Not Gay.

SACRAMENTO, California–California state senator Roy Ashburn was arrested for DUI Wednesday morning.  The senator reportedly got into his car drunk after leaving a gay club–ironic, considering his steadfast stance against gay rights.  Ashburn has released an official apology and statement on the incident:

I am deeply sorry for my actions and offer no excuse for my poor judgement.  I accept complete responsibility for my conduct and am prepared to accept the consequences for what I did.

About that whole gay club part, though, I want to make this perfectly clear:  I’m totally not gay.  I wasn’t at the gay club because I was, like, doin’ gay stuff or lookin’ for gay stuff to do.  I initially got there at first because–well okay, here’s what happened, okay?  So I’m out driving around and I see this pregnant lady, and she’s on fire.  So of course I have to stop and help her.  So I pull over and I go to look for her and I think I see her go into this place called the Pink Pole, and I’m not thinking at this point “oh, this must be a gay club!”  I’m just thinking, “man, I have to find this pregnant lady who was totally on fire!”  So I walk in there and I’m all, “hey, pregnant lady, where are you?  You can’t be in here right now, you’re totally on fire!”  And then I look around and I didn’t see the lady but I saw all this gay stuff happening and I thought it would be a good time to talk to these young men and figure you why they were doing what they were doing, so I sat down at the bar and was talking to this young man and he bought me a beer and then I bought a few more, but it was only so I’d have something to do while I was talking to this kid and trying to figure out how I can strengthen my crusade against gay stuff.  But me?  Nope.  Totally not gay.


i was a virgin! WAS!!!!


thanks to d @ AD for this!

i’m terrible with birthdays.

sorry, guy.

and that’s an understatement.  i forgot my own father’s birthday two years in a row.  and his birthday is directly after my mother’s birthday.  i don’t know what’s wrong with my brain.

i’d been on the bullhorn with reminders about the illustrious Stoney Jackson’s birthday for the entire month of February and guess what.  i plum forgot about it!  i had a big fancy blog party planned and everything, but i felt it disrespectful to put it up belatedly.  so i apologize to Stoney and everyone else who has missed out on all kinds of e-fun, featuring llamas, a magician, and a special performance by MoKenStef.  i hope that you can forgive me one day.

and in addition to that, i forgot my own birthday!!!  this blog turned two years old on January 9th (awww, i didn’t understand wordpress back then.  how cute was i??!).  i can NEVER remember that!  i forgot it last year, too.  smh.  so happy birthday to too!

AND!  one more belated wish–happy birthday to Splackavellie Central, which officially came kicking and screaming into the world on March 1st, as promised.  were u there in the delivery room?  did you cut the umbilical cord by leaving the first comment?  has this metaphor gone too far?? why, yes!  yes, it has!

and while we’re at it, let’s send out a temporary RIP to Little Known Black History Facts… it proved to be a fantabulistic Black History Month, perhaps the best that has ever seen in all of its 2 years.  i’ll still update it here and there to keep it alive, but only sporadically until next Feb.

thanks to all who checked it out!  don’t forget to check out SC!  please contact me to find out where you should send all of your birthday gifts!