ladies: got your Easter dress yet?

were you feeling a little left out while looking at the hot slammin fashions in Steve Harvey’s Easter Pimp line?  well pick your faces up, lovelies!  Steve  Harvey has not forgotten you.  just in time for Easter 2010, Steve Harvey presents:  Steve Harvey’s Saved and Sexy Church Suit and Accessory Collection.  it includes skirt suits, pant suits (for the non-traditional woman), and of course, hats.  in case you are the type of grown ass woman to still get new outfits and hair for Easter and haven’t gotten yours yet, here are a few pieces to get you inspired.

JESUS WANTS ME FOR A DAFFODIL

Sister, you are fresh as a new spring daffodil.  You are bright and radiant as God’s promise to the world.  You are yellow as Sister Cora’s potato salad (you told her she uses too much mustard, but did she listen?). You are beautiful!  Are they hating?  Don’t worry, girl.  They talked about Jesus, too.

JANET HEARTS JEHOVAH

She wasn’t always running around flashing what God gave her in the middle of football games.  Before she was Miss Jackson (if ya nasty), little Janet was a sanctified, God-fearing girl.  This suit gives us a little of both; the neck down says “I am fashionable, but still respectable.”  The bedazzled motorcycle hat on your head says “…but I’m probably wearing nipple tassels underneath this.”

THE SHOW, THE AFTERPARTY, THE SANCTUARY

Check the versatility!  Your shift at Joe’s Palm Room doesn’t end until 2 a.m. and the afterparty doesn’t get going until 4.  In this hot (but holy) little number, you can jump right off stage and straight into your usual pew right behind Brother Franklin.  Then get up and jam with him when he takes up his offering to keep the party going.

THE PEEK-A-BOO PRAYER

So you made it to the 8 a.m. service in spite of your extra long night at Joe’s Palm Room, but you’re tired. And rightly so, you haven’t gotten a wink of sleep!  Don’t worry; this gorgeous hat is affixed with a long satin leaf just perfect for hiding your dozing eyes behind.  It’s a good thing Reverend Rightaboutit prays about 50-lemn times during his service; you should be able to get a good 5 cat naps in with no problem.

SISTER CARTER’S CANDY BOWL

Do you know the story of Sister Carter?  Legend has it that though she had to sell nearly everything she owned during the Great Depression, including her extensive collection of Sunday hats.  One Easter Sunday, however, she showed up at the First Corinthian Leather Baptist Church wearing the most beautiful hat anyone had ever seen, and when complimented on it, she would smile knowingly.  Her secret:  it was a candy bowl of hers that she covered in cheap fabric and plastic rhinestones.  This hat pays homage to Sister Carter and can actually be turned upside down and used as a candy bowl if you so desire.

*these arent really from Steve Harvey.  you can get them here if you really are that type of person.

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8 responses to “ladies: got your Easter dress yet?

  1. Something tolt me not to click this at work, but I did anyway and immediately fell into convulsions while tryna hold back my screams of laughter. I could totally see Steve Harvey doing a collection like this though…especially that gold lame number bwahahaha.

  2. Ah, so that’s why you lost followers.

    They probably own that candy bowl hat & got heated cause it was a gift from the bartender at the Palm Room!

  3. LMAO I am absolutely determined to dress like this when I pass the age of 50. Ostentatious hats, gloves, and sanctified sequins are a path to glory!

  4. KindredSmile,
    I just fell in love with “Sister Eunice” with her ‘holy spirit’ outfit all over again.

    I need to fine me an A/A congregation an’ go get, uh, er …”sanctified” DERP-style…

  5. What color is her dress and matched to EGG YOLK?

  6. *dying*

    I can’t with “Womensuits” as a company name. That bedazzled motorcycle cap looks like a damn near crown. It looks like the dayum universe. A MESS.

  7. I’m tardy to the party, but you got me in tears over here. LOL

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