Dear Mr. President:

you really need to stop doing this to me.

at this point it’s just rude.  okay, we get it.  you’re married to a woman you really seem to like and you probably have sex at least three times a week.  OKAY.  HAVE A PRESIDENTIAL COOKIE ALREADY.  i can’t take this anymore.  i feel like i’m watching my ex-husband and his new chick get it on in the back of a ’57 chevy one day when i’m just out minding my business going to buy some sponge rollers at Walgreens and get on with my life.  YOU ARE TAUNTING MY VAGINA HEART VAGINA AND IT MUST CEASE.

i mean look at him.  the hungry lean-in.  the parted lips sending promises of girl, when these cameras leave here, i’m gonna pin you down by your wrists and… on warm rafts of moist breath.  the cocky little smirk dancing at the corners of his mouth to the tune of and you know i mean it, too, right?

if you INSIST on being both handsome AND the leader of the free world, at least have the decency and common courtesy not to slap your proverbial presidential penis in the faces of those who can’t do anything fun with it.

you know what, i can’t even finish this post.

i bet he tastes like fresh mangoes and accomplished goals.  lawd!

(ps – if michelle is reading this, i’m TOTALLY JUST KIDDING)

(pps – gotta thank everyone’s favorite tennessee whiskey woman for this.  or curse her for teasing me so.  i havent decided yet.)

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15 responses to “Dear Mr. President:

  1. But that hot, hot, super HOT Michelle is thinkin’ “When these camera’s stop I’m checkin’ my Crackberry to see if Lite Bread left the place we meetin’ tonight!”
    Just Look at her face … ya know it!

    (PS Mr. President if you read this, uh … please don’t send the Secret Service out for a hit on me. Please? She just HOT, OK? You understand, right?)

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  3. I’m SO mad you said the POTUS probably tastes like fresh mangoes and accomplished goals!!

    I always thought it could be blue cotton candy and bravery.

  4. ” I bet he tastes like fresh mangoes and accomplished goals!”
    What a brilliant line 🙂 You are funny and lyrically gifted!

  5. I can’t with you, and I love it!

    Michelle is slaying me with her face, tho. Like “Boy, you aint’ ready for this right here. Stop playin…”

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  7. I think he tastes like warm pita bread dipped in olive oil and perseverance.

  8. girl. i really want to hear him say the word “p*ssy.” just once.

    real low.

    and look at michelle– you know she’s trying to tell him to be good so that later, he can be bad.

    i’m pretty sure he’s got his hands in his pockets, shielding the camera from seeing him rub his junk on the back of her hand.

  9. theblackwhole

    Such CUTEness…from da 1st Couple, BMCP, n’ ALL da commentz on here!

    This IZ what da FUN side a’ havin’ a (half) Black Prez wuz ‘SPOZED 2 be about. = )

    http://theblackwhole.wordpress.com/2009/02/07/33-red-black-n-blue-if-this-duznt-warm-yer-heart/

    Thankz 4 Sharin’…
    –TBW

  10. Look at her face. Look at her face! That’s the “Boy stop playing! Why you tryna get me in trouble. Act like you got sense in public!” face. She’s holding back a smile.
    I can’t… I just can’t.

  11. this is brilliant.

  12. Dayum, that’s hot. That’s all I can come up with. I don’t KNOW this feeling. Being attracted to my president. WTF…

    *confuddled*

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  14. I’m long overdue for this…iQUIT U, Brokey!!!
    *SLAYED*
    *recovers*
    @ Cheekie, I FEEL U!! Clearly, there hasn’t been a POTUS that was hot since Kennedy! Clinton had “swag” (iShuddered writing that) but he wasn’t panty-wetting, IMHO. & after all those years of Dubya, this is DEF some new sh*t! LOL

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