alternately titled: “Twitter Accounts That Never Should Have Existed (Or at Least Should Have Been Made by Funnier People)”
so im scouring the internets for a picture of brandy’s hairline (or lack thereof) today for the latest post at Splackavellie Central when i notice that not brandy’s hairline has its own twitter page. i gave a hearty chuckle, then clicked, then didn’t know what to think when i saw said hairline tweeting to Solange’s naps, Usher’s balls, Alicia Keys’ hair, and Chaka Khan’s pinky toe. (note: i’m totally not shitting here). i mean the list of random, inane body parts just went on and on! apparently there was a brief movement back in summer 2009 (i’m guessing this is when it was because that’s when the tweets for most of these accounts stopped) for this army of disembodied twitterers to take over twitter but it never happened.
im kind of torn on how to feel: angry that a potentially funny movement was shot in the ass by its own hand, or excited to know that somewhere in my internet life at one time, Ashanti’s sideburns had a twitter account. because that truthfully makes a little piece of me happy.
to whomever is responsible for these, i salute/am ashamed of you.
- Brandy’s hairline
- Solange’s naps
- Trey Songz’ dick
- Mario’s head
- Ashanti’s sideburns
- Drake’s knee
- Omarion’s ass
- Lebron’s hairline (i actually had a hearty inner chuckle at this)
- Teyana Taylor’s mustache
- Rick Ross’ titties
- Lauren London’s eye
- Tiny’s face (LOL @ the concept)