i thought carnivals were supposed to be…. fun?
let’s do a group exercise real quick. think of something you love more than anything else. not a person, but a thing, an inanimate object. now, imagine an amusement park or carnival dedicated to that thing. what’s in your head? something that amounts to fun times, right? example: i love cheesecake. in my head a cheesecake amusement park/carnival has free cheesecake tasting booths, maybe some cheesecake dedicated rides like the Tunnel O’ Cheesecake, where you get to ride through a long tunnel that smells of fresh cheesecake and u get cheesecake thrown into your gondola or somethin.. you know, fun stuff.
so now imagine an amusement park/carnival dedicated to shoes. topically, im excited as shit at the very thought. i LOVE shoes. love love love. i bought these for my birthday a couple of months ago:
i named them Winston and Sir Victor. i love them more than any of my current boos, and i told them so, to their faces. several times.
i feel like a shoe carnival should have like, roller coasters where the cars are shaped like big, stylish shoes, a cafe with gourmet treats where everything is named after a brand of shoes (ie – Louboutin Linguini, Reebok Raspberry Crumpets, etc). maybe some people dressed up in shoe costumes walkin around takin pictures with babies. i dunno.
regardless of what your vision of a shoe carnival is, i can assure you that that is NOT Shoe Carnival’s reality. if you don’t know, Shoe Carnival is a store, and everytime i ride past it/go inside, i have to wonder whose dumbass idea it was to present that place as one of mirth. not because i think a carnival of shoes is a bad idea, but because the people who work there seem to be the most depressed, downtrodden people ever.
as far as i can tell, the thing that makes this shoe store a shoe carnival is a podium that sits in the middle of the store, visible right when you walk in. next to this podium is a big wheel that looks kind of like the one from the price is right, full of prizes and discounts you can win. and that’s it. that’s all the fun shoe carnival has to offer. and on top of that, the prizes kind of fucking suck. i swear to you, i have never witnessed anybody win anything other than free socks at shoe carnival. which, i mean, this is a recession and i wouldnt turn my nose up at a pair of free socks. but come on. a carnival? this is your carnival? really?
as i was leaving shoe carnival once, the guy working the podium tried to get me to come back in and spin the wheel to win a prize. i wasn’t in the mood for any free socks that day (this was clearly pre-recession) so i shook my head and said no thank you, and im 96% sure he said, ‘well can you at least come and shoot me in the face before i go?’
poor guy. sucky carnival. good sales though!
do they have shoe carnivals where yall live at? are the ppl there as depressed as the guy who wanted to be shot in the face here in KY?