one day, you’re gonna shit yourself: a motivational message

i was in philly awhile ago.  i shared one of these with three other people.

it was a long night.

halfway through, it lead me to start preaching on how u have to live life now before u start shittin urself.  as i write this now, im sitting in a hotel room with my 84 year old grandmother and i found myself tweeting that same message.  this blog isn’t about me, but this sermon is one that the world needs to hear.

now im being silly of course, but im serious too.  im sure (and i hope) that my views on this will brighten one day, but right now, i fully believe, 100% that there is no dignity in growing old and that one day, all you’ll have is jello, Judge Judy, and shittin yourself.

i pretty much grew up with my grandmother.  i lived with her and my mother until i left for college at 18, then for about a year after i graduated, then in philly for 4 years, and now i’m with them again, having just moved back to louisville, ky.   ive seen her go from 50-something firecracker, mother of 6 and great/grandmother to like 526,735, carrying the entire world on her shoulders, to a weathered, withered shell of her former self, completely dependent on us to do for her what she is so used to doing for other people.  it’s rough.

now ideally, this should be a blessing and nothing less.  oh, how fortunate to live so long.  what a full life she’s lead; what a blessing to have family there to care for you when you can’t anymore.  how happy everyone should be.  but how can we be happy when she is miserable?  when she gets so frustrated at not being able to do for herself that she just breaks down at the very thought of having to depend on us?  it’s very rough.  i force myself to see and recognize the positive because i feel obligated to, but secretly?  it scares the shit out of me.  like, this is it.  if we’re lucky enough to get old, and then really old, this is all we’ll have.  memories of what we used to be able to do and frustration at not being able to do it.  that leads me to my new philosophy on life:

live now; you’ll be shittin yourself later.

behold: your future.

before my granny got sick, i was waiting.  i was going through the motions, doing what i felt like i had to do in life.  go to school.  get degree.  get job.  get husband.  get knocked up.  get established.  do what u like/love in your free time.  but seriously man, fuck that.  i had to reassess what my idea of “established” was.  big house, plenty money, good job?  pff.  when you’re old, that’s not what you’ll miss.  you’ll long for the little things.  being able to drink as much coffee and eat as much chocolate as you want.  not having somebody standing over your grown ass tellin you what to do all the damn time.  being able to not shit yourself.  THOSE are the treasures.

and you have that!  right now, you have it!  if you’re able bodied, can remember what day of the week it is, and can shit in a toilet at will, you have everything you need.  you have the entire world tucked away in your pocket right now and you probably dont even know it because you’re waiting on that wedding ring/promotion/check to clear.  fuck that!  LIVE.  IT.  UP.

got somethin you’ve always wanted to do?  GO DO IT, PUNCHY!  don’t wait til later!  you’ll be shittin yourself later!  do u know how

one day, those sexy draws are gonna be laden with poop.

hard it is to backpack through europe when youre shittin yourself every 30 minutes?  neither do i.  but im sure its pretty annoying/unpleasant for you and everybody else around you.  got a crush on your neighbor?  wanna fall in love with her and marry her and have lots of babies?  just wanna hit it and quit it?  TELL HER!  know why?  because your chances of any of that happening are far greater now than they will be when you’re shitin yourself.  wanna be a sculptor?  get some dirt!  put some water in it!  make some clay!  get your ghost on!  NOW!  if u wait til later, the very sight of somethin that looks like shit will probably make u shit yourself, whether you want to or not, then you’ll have to get up and rectify that situation and while you’re gone, your clay is gonna dry out and you’re gonna get back and have to put more water on it and then you’ll shit yourself again and you’ll never get anywhere.  right now?  you can do it.  you dont need money or whatever it is you’re waiting for.  if u can talk, you can sing; if you can walk, you can dance, and there’s no excuse for you not doing them.  take advantage.

my message used to be “do drugs.  get drunk.  have panic sex.”  but that’s just a bit irresponsible.  also, ive never done a drug in my life, nor will i, so i think that’d make me a hypocrite or a non-practicer of what i preach or something.  so  instead i’ll just say “go do it.”  whatever it is, go do it.  and i mean its not easy; this is a rule that im struggling to follow myself.  but by golly, it’s gonna happen.  in a perfect world, i will show up on the doorstep of the now grown ass man that ive had a crush on since i was like 10 years old in nothin but a trench coat and some fuck me pumps.  if he turns me down, that’s fine!  i’ll go write a song or run a marathon or paint a picture or learn to salsa dance or something and get on with my young, able-bodied life.  u know why?

because i can hold a pen without pain . because though i am borderline chubby and out of shape, my legs are strong.  because caring about art is a luxury that i can still afford to have.

and because i wont be shitting myself beneath that trench coat.

go do it.  do it now.  while your draws are light.

21 responses to “one day, you’re gonna shit yourself: a motivational message

  1. awesome, brokey. just awesome.

    i’m drawn to your “do drugs. get drunk. have panic sex.” for the irony. it’s not the items you list, it’s the general idea. go out there and be reckless (within reason) and have a damn good time doing it. I likes it.

  2. I needed to hear that today!!!!! My new mantra is do shit before you start shittin’ your m.f. self.

  3. hey brokey, i entered a talent contest this past weekend. my talent was “comedy” i found out that i am more goofy or corny than i am funny and i conquered my fear of public speaking. i got some laughs. it was FUN! now i can cross being a comedian off of my bucket list! what next? maybe, just maybe, i will write “that” story…

  4. Pingback: How I Stopped Working In Corporate America and Learned to Love Librarianship « Nerd With Curves


    There’z soooo much We STILL want 2 LEARN n’ get done (like learnin’ 2 play da guitar N’ writin’ mo’ of Our OWN blog entriez = ) n’ tell Ourselvez We’ll do…WHEN We have mo’ free time…

    Like Mz. Brokey jus’ said, “Fuck” dat! Do it NOW!

    U are NOT jus’ a writer/blogger, young woman…U are a modern day BLACK ORACLE!!!

    JAH BLESS U! = )

  6. Ms. Brokey?
    I already did …

  7. Seriously though, Ms. Brokey
    You brought plenty of tears to my eyes with this. I’m wondering how many similar/shared life experiences we have now.
    Except mine was a deeply beloved parent. As we dealt with a degenerative disease, to watch and care for someone as they change from a highly capable, hard-working, self-sacrificing individual into something you hardly recognize.

    Which, interestingly, is strangely different to other situations of human care. I always loved caring for my little kiddie’s, always being totally involved in the poopie diaper, bath-time, whatever responsibilities. It’s great stuff! So “bonding”. I can attest, from intimate personal experience, caring for a highly loved, dying parent bares no similarities. Even the smells are so different. The emotions, oh God, how strikingly different. One is the care of a new, highly-hoped for life and its promise, the other, the agonizing loss of someone you don’t want t go. Wiping your parent’s butt shares no emotional relationship to wiping your little kiddie’s. Neither does feeding or bathing them.
    I was there, holding the surviving parent’s hand, while they held the dying one’s hand, as they took that last feeble breath and expired.

    Right now you’ll have all kinds of emotions running around inside you. Please hang in there. For your Grandma. For your Mom (she really needs the support, I’m sure). And for yourself. While a person goes through such things, you can at times wonder “Sheesh … why am I Doing this?!” It’s because you Love. Too many people turn that one off, especially when it is a real challenge. When this is all done, you’ll be so glad (as I have been) that you held in there, you did what you should have, for all the right reasons.
    I’m a big believer in that what significantly contributes to a worthwhile life is the dealing with, in love, the responsibilities we have. I’ve always been glad I have, no matter how tough it’s been or what its cost me personally.
    You’re filling in your own right now.

  8. And get that dang picture of my twice removed cousin Asian Bread down!
    He don’t like girl’s Ok? Or at least not “at-birth” ‘girls’.

    Besides, I gave you mine. I’m SO much better looking …

  9. Oh, one last thing.
    When you wanta do the marathon? Look me up, I’ll get you ready.
    Though I’d recommend you’d have more fun going faster in a 5K or 10K race. Even a half marathon is a better race distance. At least I think so.
    So, when you lace up the runnin’ shoes, call, we’ll go.

    We can deal with the “pumps” and trench coat latter …

    (For all the bewildered, wonderin’ “What the F’ing?! Does he, like Know her?!”
    That’s a nega-tory, big Daddy, 10-4.
    It’s called “in fun”, ok?)

    (Will you Ban me for life now?)

  10. I love you, man.

    That is all. This has been my mantra for the last few months. It’s why I’m dressing up like Dorothy Dandridge and taking myself swing dancing in San Fran tonight.

  11. Pingback: 21st Century Black Oracle!{( 8K « Theblackwhole’s Weblog

  12. *Just threw out the pic and quote of ghandi and being the change that i want to see and replaced it with male model who will eventually shit himself*

    Thank you for the best inspiration.ever!

  13. good stuff, pookie

    i laughed, i cried*, and laughed some more-

    your granny sounds a LOT like my granny, so i’m relating hella hard right now

    peace to all the grandmas of the world

    *figuratively, of course; i’m too damn manly for alla that, as u well know

  14. in response to your post over there on pb…about common’s dad….


    i think i am banned over there!

  15. i dont know, maybe i am not “bourgie” enough? my comments prolly dont make sense because sometimes i a reacting to the title of the post and dont really READ the articles…i am sometimes ADD-ish that way…but I really do love to read! anyway, i will continue to read their blog even though i cant comment…it may be me…i am not computer literate…maybe i am doing something wrong…i emailed them, and they fixed it, i commented a coupla times, then i could not do it anymore…i think GD thinks i am “uninformed” oh well. i like your blog and i thing you are funny! keep working on your tan!

  16. Random Concerned Reader

    Just for the record, Dave Matthews has openly admitted to “$hitting himself” once on tour in Africa. He’s one of the most influential musicians of the last twenty years, still going strong today. We are flawed creatures by nature, and to deny that is to set yourself up for a great, great fall. Just saying.


    You only shared that drink with TWO other people.
    I wasn’t trying to poison myself with that mystery concoction.

    Let’s commit to telling the WHOLE truth, Brokey McPoverty!

  18. Have discovered your blog via yahoo the other day and absolutely like it so much. Continue the excellent work.

  19. Pingback: see you December 1st! |

  20. Harpo....who dat woman?


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