dear aretha franklin:

AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHAAHHAH!!!!!!!

Aretha Franklin: Halle Berry Should Portray Me In Film

DETROIT — Aretha Franklin wants Halle Berry to show her some R-E-S-P-E-C-T and sign on to portray a younger version of the Queen of Soul in an upcoming biopic.

The 68-year-old singing legend sent out a press release this week revealing her choices for Hollywood stars to play top roles in a planned film about her life and career.

Besides Berry, Franklin says she wants another Academy Award winner – Denzel Washington – to play her father, the late C.L. Franklin, a prominent Baptist minister and civil rights leader in Detroit.  (Read the rest of the article here.)


so they’ve apparently invented bacon-infused crack and ms. franklin has sampled quite a lot of it.

but no, okay.  really though, in all seriousness–halle fucking berry??  as aretha damn franklin?!  …what?  if i were going to be mean, i’d suggest anthony anderson in one of beyonce’s wigs as a better casting choice but we’re not going there today, church.  this is a sermon about humility.  it’s a sermon about keeping your feet solid on the ground even if you insist on puttin that big ol’ bubble head of yours in the sky.  it’s a message about the importance of feeling yourself, but not to the point of complete batshit oblivion.  yall don’t hear me!

and denzel gotdamn washington as her dad?? granted… i dont know what her dad looked like.  gonna go take a stroll to google real quick, brb.

yeah, no.

i’m even outraged by aretha’s suggestion that terrence howard play smokey robinson, only because my disdain of terrence howard GREATLY outweighs my longstanding fear of smokey robinson.  plus any role that gives terrence howard a valid excuse to sing just needs to not exist.    and if denzel agrees to any of this shit, i want to go on record as saying that i fully expect to see him in Tyler Perry’s “King Kong Finally Got Somethin’ On Me Because King Kong Never Agreed to do a Damn Tyler Perry Movie.”

12

DETROIT — Aretha Franklin wants Halle Berry to show her some R-E-S-P-E-C-T and sign on to portray a younger version of the Queen of Soul in an upcoming biopic.

The 68-year-old singing legend sent out a press release this week revealing her choices for Hollywood stars to play top roles in a planned film about her life and career.

Besides Berry, Franklin says she wants another Academy Award winner – Denzel Washington – to play her father, the late C.L. Franklin, a prominent Baptist minister and civil rights leader in Detroit.  (Read the rest of the article here.)

DETROIT — Aretha Franklin wants Halle Berry to show her some R-E-S-P-E-C-T and sign on to portray a younger version of the Queen of Soul in an upcoming biopic.

The 68-year-old singing legend sent out a press release this week revealing her choices for Hollywood stars to play top roles in a planned film about her life and career.

Besides Berry, Franklin says she wants another Academy Award winner – Denzel Washington – to play her father, the late C.L. Franklin, a prominent Baptist minister and civil rights leader in Detroit.  (Read the rest of the article here.)

Advertisements

3 responses to “dear aretha franklin:

  1. lol.
    i have NO words,
    except,
    whatever crack she’s smoking,
    i’ma need that! 🙂

  2. Yeah, the only reason this is outrageous is that Halle Berry doesn’t have an iota of Aretha’s talent.

  3. Which breast will Halle Berry play?

    This is almost as bad as Denzel Washington playing Kurt Warner in The Kurt Warner Story. I WISH I was making that up:http://jockpost.com/denzel-washington-play-kurt-warner-bio-movie/

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s