so we’ve all seen that slightly batshit yet somehow awesome Jimmy McMillan in his quest for the governor’s chair in New York on the The Rent is Too Damn High Party. i am inspired. ladies and gentlemen, i would like to take this opportunity to declare my intent to run for governor of any state of your choosing on a brand new platform to be known as the These Damn Cans of Glory Greens Are Dented Party.
this is a real problem in society. everyday, grandmothers are walking up and down the aisles in their local grocery stores lookin for greens, and when they get to the greens, you know what they see? they see some damn dented cans of Glory Greens, that’s what they see. but you go to any of these fancy pants whole food stores, and they don’t even HAVE Glory Greens, and the cans of food that they do have ain’t dented. i bet if they DID have Glory Greens, the damn cans wouldn’t be dented.
the tax man is takin from my check and we can’t even get a can of Glory Greens without a damn dent in it. that don’t make no damn dented sense. you got the government comin into our neighborhoods and giving us crack, but they can’t come down here and give us some damn cans of Glory Greens that don’t have a damn dent in them. that’s not fair and it ain’t right. if i got to guy a damn dented can of Glory Greens then they need to at least lower the price from $1.27 to about 59 cents or somethin like that. and who is putting dents in the damn cans anyway? somebody needs to speak up. this right here is a shame.
as a karate expert, if you vote for me i will get these damn dents out of these cans of Glory Greens because our children are hungry. their stomachs are growling. can you hear them? i do. i listen. and yall can’t listen like me. and that’s why you need to vote for me, Brokey McMillian, for the These Damn Cans of Glory Greens are Dented Party.
if this run for the governorship is not successful, i would like to announce that i’ll be switching over to the Pull Your Damn Pants Up Party. and quit runnin in and out of this damn house while i got the air on! don’t be playin in my yard, either!