and now, life lessons with Jawn Murray.


today’s lesson:  “i’m sorry you feel that way” is NOT an apology.

(UPDATE:  If you’re unsatisfied with J. Murray’s apology, contact Tariq Muhammad of AOL Black Voices. (via

okay.  hypothetical situation. let’s say i hit you in your face with a 2 x 4.   it hurts.  you cry and ask for an apology.  i say, ‘im sorry that hurt you.’  what exactly am i apologizing for?

essentially, i’m saying that i’m sorry that your face was hurt by that big ass piece of wood you were hit with as opposed to ‘i’m sorry that i hit you in the face with a big ass piece of wood.’  in that apology, i take no responsibility and admit no involvement in your face being hurt by a big ass piece of wood.  in fact, i’m kind of blaming you for being hurt by it.  maybe you should try having fewer nerve endings in your face next time.

that’s pretty much what this dingleberry Jawn Murray is doing on the interwebs as we speak.  who is Jawn Murray, you ask?  he’s (apparently) a writer for AOL’s Black Voices (remember the “black” part, as that will be important later) and some kind of contributor to the Tom Joyner Morning Show or something.  apparently he got his panties in a  bunch because some people aren’t excited about Tyler Perry’s adaptation of ‘For Colored Girls’ (HEAVEN FORBID THAT ALL BLACK PEOPLE DON’T FALL TO THEIR KNEES AND POLISH KING PERRY’S COCKNBALLS WITH WORDS OF PRAISE), and to express his angst, he turned to twitter and started talking sideways about black women, instructing their nappy asses to go get perms.  and also, lives.


so, yeah.  lots of women, black women, with natural hair were pretty pissed at being verbally attacked (imagine that!).  so what does he do?  well first he locks his Twitter page and hides like a real man.  and then he decides to take to YouTube to ‘apologize.’

remember that illustrative example from earlier?  about being hit in the face with a big ass piece of wood?  let’s apply it here.  Mr. Murray is essentially saying, ‘i’m sorry that your feelings were hurt by that joke i made,’ INSTEAD of saying ‘i’m sorry that i made a hurtful joke.’  (let me also state that claiming that you were just playing around after you stick your foot in your mouth is soooooooo LAME!).  he took not one single solitary iota of blame or responsibility for what he said.  he didn’t acklowledge that what he said was wrong, or why it was wrong, or apologize for the actual words that were said.  he’s only sorry that we took it the way we did.

now i don’t give two shits about this dude.  i didn’t know about his existence prior to today.  i dont care what he thinks about me, in particularly and personally.  but it’s the principle of the matter here. i mean, goodness gracious, i’m soooo tired of the never ending ‘shit on a black woman’ holiday that seems to be lasting a little too long online.  and to see it coming from other black people is just nauseating.  like damn, can i get a freaking break??  it’s bad enough i get my ass kicked by racism everyday, but then i gotta come home to my own and STILL get it?

remember don imus?  it wasn’t alright when he did it. nor should it be excused when a black man of color does it.

AND ALL THIS OVER SOME DAMN TYLER PERRY!!  if this is what TP fans are like, let me add that to my list of reasons to keep my fucking distance.  whatever people like Jawn Murray are repping, i want no part of it.  this includes AOL’s BLACK Voices.  why am i gonna listen to some man writing about some black voices when he apparently doesn’t give a shit about half the black population?  i’ll pass. (i told them so, to–you should do that same by contacting Tariq Muhammad of AOL Black Voices at

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20 responses to “and now, life lessons with Jawn Murray.

  1. LOVED THIS POST! I agree with everything you’ve said. That is all.

  2. Also, I just left them a piece of my mind too! (Although I said it nicely) But I ended by saying that I hope they respond with appropriate repercussions. And I truly hope that they do.

  3. I left BV an “angry black woman” email. Let’s see if they do anything.

  4. Ms. Brokey?
    I was tempted to leave a nice complement on your last post, the one with the digital image of the beautiful woman in it. But, after a few things you said in there, I refrained, not wanting to go all “Strom Thurmond” in your feelings.

    Then I read this, with the honest angst, especially about the “‘shit on a black woman holiday”. And then back-tracked and wondered if I should have anyway.

    I get so torn sometimes. Is it a complement when she doesn’t want it from me?
    Which ways Up?

  5. ….i’m soooo tired of the never ending ‘shit on a black woman’ holiday that seems to be lasting a little too long online.
    Girl, say it again!!!

  6. **snaps** Great post! I, for one, refuse to allow myself to get worked up over someone who looks like the ghost of E. Lynn Harris. Nappy for LIFE and loving it!

  7. thanks for bringing this to our attention brokey. excellent post & analogy. i don’t pay jawn much mind even though i had heard of him before this. smh.

    wow. homeboy went to the eddie long school of public addresses, didn’t he?

    “the man that they say i am, i’m not him…”

    *face palm*

  8. homeboy also went the dwight RHOA way.

    “this has been a real learning experience”

    *gas face*

  9. Seriously I never liked him and I saw that coming…Him and that effing Roland Martin are idiots!! JESUS!

  10. Sorry, but I refuse to take life lessons from a nappy-headed guy with so much makeup.

  11. Well put! Bad enough we get this from the masses but to get it from our male counterparts is hurtful. And he wants to say its ok because he has “nappy hair” too. NAW Jawn! I used to look forward to his segment on TJMS. Time for Tom to get someone else!

  12. You may not care about Jawn, but if you listen to the Tom Joyner Morning Show, you are supporting Jawn. He is employed by Tom Joyner, and Tom must take a stand. Jawn not only locked his Twitter, but he disabled his comments on YouTube, so that he doesn’t have to face our opinions, which proves that he doesn’t care to gather our opinions in order to provide an honest apology. He simply wants us to get over it. UNACCEPTABLE.

  13. @missmilya Roland and Sherri Shepard to their Twitter in support of Jawn. Roland made inflammatory remarks. Visit his Twitter for more info @rolandsmartin.

  14. Jawn just another bitter queen.

  15. SMDH (really hard). I guess he took the two part Learning Annex course on how to disrespect black women. The instructor teaching part one must have been Don Imus and Steve Harvey on 101 offensive shit you can say about a black woman’s hair (and think you can get away with it). Part two must have been taught by Toure on how to use Twitter to broadcast your comments of ratchedness against black women (and think you can get away with it). For those not familiar with Toure’s faux paus (sp) with Twitter, just google his comments about how black woman during times of slavery.

    Frankly, I’m surprised he didn’t pull a Toure and said his “cousin” tweeted that comment….

    People make me sick sometimes.

  16. I don’t quite get all of the anger toward Jawn (and let me say I do not know him or regulary listen to him on TJMS or read his blog). It seems to me what is happening is that some of us are allowing Jawn to define us with one or two comments he made. Why give him that type of authority? As a fellow natural I was not offended because Jawn is nothing in my life. I would not spend two seconds caring about what he says because in the end that is giving him more authority than he has, which isn’t any.

  17. I heard of him but I don’t pay him any mind; therefore his opinions doesn’t effect me here nor there. Just like bkrider said, “Jawn is just another bitter queen.” Carry on…

  18. Wow. Homeboy’s name is actually “Jawn”? Where I’m from, “jawn” is an improper noun, verb, or adjective. Sometimes used in a pejorative sense. This is the first I’ve seen of this being an actual Christian name.

    This is terrible. If I shared my name with a Philadelphia Metro area slang term, I would take four shits and die.

  19. let me make it plain… fuck Tyler Perry and fuck this bitch ass nigga.

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