first, let me state that this is A REAL EXISTING THING happening in columbus, ohio on january 21st. this flier made it’s rounds around Twitter yesterday courtesy of steenfox.
come on out and wrap up your celebrations of Dr. King’s dream–you know, the one where color didn’t matter any more and it was the content of character that was important and blah blah blah–by dividing, separating, and pitting your black asses against each other based on your skin tone!
i understand that it is to be quite the grand affair. the party is sponsored
by Ambi Fade Cream, Anaconda Malt Liquor, and Timmi Hilnigger, and MC’d by the new Lil Kim in a “Team Light Skin” t-shirt. instead of the wobble, cupid hustle, & cha cha slide, everybody will instead do the dance from the Madame Re-Re’s Salon scene of School Daze. there’ll be tons of door prizes, including colored contacts, s-curl kits, and flamin hot cheetos.
the highlight of the night, though, comes at 1:30 am when the lightskin vs darkskin showdown goes down. winner of the guy’s challenge gets an authentic slave shackle encrusted completely in blood diamonds by the same dude that makes all those dumb ass pendants for tpain & nem, and the winner of the ladies’ competition wins a a glamorous spot to be objectified and reduced to a pair of titties and ass in Young Whomever’s newest hippety hop video. and nobody leaves empty handed–everybody gets the disapproval of the negro community and the ancestors.
yall should definitely hit it up! i won’t be there, though.. there’s a Pestilence vs. Plague party at Sly’s Lounge, p-poppin’ in my SARS mask. and check this out, too!