NOT happy to be nappy.


this guy definitely doesn't look happy to be nappy.

GD of PostBourgie slid this to me in my gchat today and i knew it would be great blog fodder.  this is a young woman who is not at all pleased with the natural hair experience.

some quick thoughts:

-i think there’s a conversation to be had here about the way that natural hair product lines (particularly high priced ones) market their products.  how often do you see (this is an actual question im posing to you all) natural hair product lines featuring models with nappy/kinky/afro’d hair?  go look around the kinky-curly website real quick.  don’t worry, i’ll wait.  actually, i’ll save you some time; they all look like this:

actual pic from actual site

same is true for miss jessie’s, carol’s daughter, and we dont even have to mention mixed chicks, lol.  it seems that the message sent is that natural hair is only beautiful when it’s curly and bouncy.  are companies like these profiting from an idealistic standard of beauty that many can’t achieve, due to dna?  maybe this young lady just thought that using the products she used would make her look like the shiny curly heads in their ads?

-i’m certain that lots of people are going to label this woman self-hating.  is that a fair assessment?  everything just ain’t for everybody, right?  and it’s just hair, right?

i’m very curious and excited to hear what you all think.  let me go put my wet & wavy on a hanger & pull on up to the table.

(sad afro guy via)

14 responses to “NOT happy to be nappy.

  1. It’s clear that this woman had unrealistic expectations when she went natural. I see it a lot when women are obsessed with defining their curl rather than getting to know their hair and finding what works for them. It takes time to get to know your natural hair when you’ve spent years with a perm. Every day is not going to be a good hair day!

    I absolutely agree with you, Brokey, on products pitching certain images to natural hair consumers. I think this creates a lot of these unrealistic expectations some women have for their hair.

    And lastly, what’s wrong with a Florida Evans fro? I can see how someone would think she’s self hating. She wants someone else’s natural hair, not the kind growing out of her scalp.

  2. i have done it all except for the lacefront…that shit looks retarded on regla women…imo.
    press n curl, relaxer, jerri curl, braids, natural…what else is there? weaves, cellophanes, colors, u name it…it’s just hair. i even cut it all off twice! once in my 20’s (had a little brit-brit moment) and about 2 years ago…work so stressful if i didnt cut it off, i was gonna start tearing it out…yes i suffer(ed) from that trich a whatchacallit….AND i am a former thumbsucker and nail biter, but i digress. alls i have to say is…it is MORE time consuming to get natural (read-NAPPY) hair to look half-way decent. if you have a looser curl pattern, youre good to go, but plain old mississipi/missouri mix…um yea, i went back to the creamy crack…i had my angela davis moment…i’m better now…and i will be rocking braids next! that is the beauty of “black” hair…so many different ways to do it…

  3. fair assessment. most of the models in the ads have naturally curly or coily hair, not hair that can be manipulated to be curly/coily. maybe it’s just me, but i’ve yet to see someone with a straight up ‘fro or puff as a spokesperson for a hair care line, natural or otherwise.

    i disagree with @momma, though. it’s not more time consuming to get “nappy” hair to be halfway decent. you just have to get to know your own hair and quit styling for the hair you want. hair takes time, period, if you want healthy hair.

    my hair is mostly wavy and has some coily spots, but it’s nowhere near the picture seen in the post. but that’s okay. i’ll be natural for the rest of my life, God willin’. and most of my friends are natural.

    but at the end of the day you gotta realize: natural hair takes time and patience. it ain’t for everybody. and that’s okay.

    • definitely agree w/ healthy hair being work no matter what. hair and life in general just flow better when you work with that it naturally does instead of trying to re-invent the wheel.

      and i can identify with being surprised at how time consuming natural hair can be. i definitely spend more time, effort, and money keeping my hair up, but i don’t mind it. i think it’s helping to increase my upper body strength since my hands are always in my hair, lol

  4. I call it all bull. This is another paperbag test. As a natural hair blogger I hear these stories all the time. I have loose 3C/4A curls, there are those who love to say that my hair “isn’t nappy so I don’t understand their woes” *waah*

    Everyone has their own journey to walk. There are many success ful vloggers and bloggers with tightly coiled and afro texture hair. The problem comes when you aren’t happy with what you have. The front of my hair isnt curly or kinky at all; its wavy and i hate it. But it’s mine and I learned how to manipulate it.

    As a group that has been taught to hate our hair and that it NEEDS to be controlled we have made up our own ideals that looser curls mean controlled. My lil sis is 3A/3b curls and her hair gets nappy poofy and unmanageable if she doesnt moisturize, style and manipulate it just like mine.

    And a product is not the answer to every curl girl’s cry ofwoe. There is no product that will turn my waves into curls. none. But through twisting or braiding I am able to give them texture and volume. I have also spent time with my hair learning what it likes and how to treat it. That involves more than watching youtube vids and slapping some goop in.

    And while you talked of products here are mfgrs that do showcase big/kinky hair:

    • good points made. i think one of this young lady’s biggest problems is that she just doesn’t know this stuff, and u can’t really fault someone for ignorance unless it’s willful.

      in those manufacturers you linked though, i didn’t see any models with straight up AFROS, like the texture of the girl in the vid. they all had some type of recognizable curl, and the Uncle Funky’s Daughter has pictures of people with kinky hair, but to show how its products turn those kinks into curls. ive never seen just like straight up, non curly or wavy, afroy hair on models for natural hair products.

  5. oh and can I add that while I do not know this lady at all she seems to be an attn whore. She has been posting crazy vids for a while her youtube name is HIMAY10NENCE

  6. I had a short fro and hated combing it. I cut it boyishly short, swirly decals and all, and I didn’t feel femme enough. So I grew it out for a minute and relaxed it. I like it, and I’m resigned to the relaxer process. I have a million excuses for why I can’t maintain my natural, but if I really wanted it, I’d find a way, right? As far as this video goes, I wouldn’t call her self hating. The self is muc more than the hair.

  7. I feel for ol’ girl. The YouTube can give you some unrealistic expectations, especially if you don’t know your own hair yet. I had exactly ONE crispy hair experience before I learned the “wash and go” was a trick of the enemy. MESS! Made me wanna fight a certain natural hair company who shall remain nameless.

    Off topic…did you peep the bilinguality at 2:42? Yup. French is the new Black.

  8. hahaha. She can honestly say she has tried it and its not for her. i have had braids ,weaves, and perms,but natural works best for me.

    I have been natural for the past 16 years and I have had days like this, especially in the begining. It took me a while to figure out what my hair liked and what I needed to do to make it grow. Natural hair takes time and that is that.

    I just spent about four hours detangling, washing and putting a leave in conditioner in my natural hair yesterday. My mom twisted it for me today which took around four hours. This will last seven to ten days and then I do the whole process over again.
    Everybody is not going to do that and thats ok. It works for me besides I wouldnt know what to do with straight hair.

    • this is a good point too: PATIENCE. ive been natural near 3 years and i’m STILL learning how to care for and style it. not everybody has that kind of time, and i talk to a lot of women who just don’t/can’t hang in there long enough to really learn and become acquainted with their hair after they go natural.

  9. I PROMISE I don’t work for Hair Rules, (but I give them so many shout outs you’d swear they’re a club and I’m a promoter). They’re the only company I’ve seen that give’s a shout to the Kinky ‘fro girls and leaves not doubt about “Kinky” is:

    I became a fan b/c I have no false notions about the state of my hair. It’s kinky – i mean, caintchadontcha kinky (Cain’t Comb It. Don’t Try.) But it’s soft like a bunny tail and it straightens well with heat. But I still didn’t trust it. After visiting the Hair Rules site I felt a little more convinced I could abandon

    This is a link to their “Kinky – Before & After” page:

  10. pls forgive the typos….i didn’t proofread.

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