Louisville Poised to Make Strip Clubs More Family-Friendly

LOUISVILLE, KY Beginning February 1, 2011, you won’t be able to find a few things in Louisville area strip clubs–namely nudity, alcohol, and lapdances–three things that pretty much define strip clubs.  Dancers and patrons will also have to stay a minimum of six feet away from each other.

“I think this is racist or sexist or something,” said dancer Dior La’Jenkins.  “This is how I feed my family and pay my tuition.  How am I supposed to get my tips now?  I’m only 5 foot 1, I can’t reach six feet!”  But there is an upside, she said:  “At least I’ll have some time to work on my homework, get some reading done.  Since I’ll be so far away from the customers now, they won’t be able to see what I’m doing anyway.”

We spoke with Leroy Stillwell, owner and proprietor of the Bust-It-Open Boutique Gentleman’s Club and Bar to get his opinion on the upcoming changes.  “Oh well, yeah, it’s terrible, you know.  Especially now–Valentine’s Day is right around the corner, and that’s always been a big money maker.  But it’s okay though.  We’ve got some ideas, we’re being creative,” he added optimistically.  “We’re adding a day care center, hoping that it’ll draw some more customers.  We’re also renting out space to churches and community groups now–we’ve got 1st Corinthian Leather Baptist holding bible study here next Wednesday.  So we’re hoping that will keep folks coming through.”

Asked about the appropriateness of having children and church functions in a strip club, Stillwell commented, “It’s not like there’s anything scandalous happening here anymore with all these new laws.  You can find more sex and salaciousness on basic cable at noon these days.”

He then added, “I’m also changing the name of the club to The Respectable Lady, because really, I might as fucking well.”

The Impoverished Times

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6 responses to “Louisville Poised to Make Strip Clubs More Family-Friendly

  1. LOL! I’m working on a novel where strippers hear about this type of law and create their own club. Have you heard about the town where strippers held a protest against a church that had been protesting their club? http://www2.nbc4i.com/news/2010/aug/29/5/central-ohio-strippers-protest-church-ongoing-batt-ar-214224/

  2. I can’t wait to go to The Respectable Lady and give a girl some money to make eye contact with me while there is light jazz playing.

  3. It’s so sad that
    1. every time I see “patrons”, I read Patron…as in the drink.
    2. that I stopped reading just to post that b/c I really shook my head at myself.

    *goes back to reading*

  4. **** UPDATED COMMENT ****

    Has anyone told you that you’re absolutely thoroughly entertaining? Because you are.

    Thank you!

  5. These are more or less the strip club laws in Seattle, which could explain why there are only 2.

  6. this is the dumbest thing ive ever heard of. come on louisville, i know ive never taken my family to a strip club for a night out on the town. have u? for those people who enjoy the company and entertainment that these places offer it is a way to get away from reality. dont u have dreams and fantasies too. i say leave the clubs the alone and let the people enjoy the lovely dancers this city has to offer!!

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