that’s pretty cool. i mean i kind of question it, given his history of hard to decipher, slightly asinine tweet philosophising, but it’s your money. do what you will with it.
something you should know, though.. for Tyrese, “staying out of your own way” apparently means stalking your baby’s mother and sleeping in your car in front of her place all night. yeah, that happened. last night, actually.
not pictured: the kid in a Gestapo uniform.
Do you guys remember the WB catoon “Histeria?” It was an Animaniacs-esque show that sought to entertain children while teaching them about world history. Now, to a history freak like me, this show is just what the doctor ordered. The Animaniacs is one, if not, my favorite cartoon series ever, and history is just freaking awesome, so the combination of the two really works for me. But to the average 8-14 year old kid? There aren’t many ways to make history cool, fun, or exciting. Unless you sing and joke about it. Which is what they did.
The problem with this… much of history is grim, bloody, and violent, and this show didn’t gloss over things like war, racism, and genocide. They just.. did cartoony things with it, which, in retrospect, gave some often uncomfortable results. Here, in kind of no particular order, are 5 of the most uncomfortable Histeria moments on youtube.
today’s lesson: “i’m sorry you feel that way” is NOT an apology.
(UPDATE: If you’re unsatisfied with J. Murray’s apology, contact Tariq Muhammad of AOL Black Voices. firstname.lastname@example.org (via ForHarriet.com))
Posted in assholes, Don Imus, entertainment, hair, middle fucking finger, N!gga Please Award, natural hair, race, stfu, teh internetz, Twitter, wackness, women's issues, wtf
Tagged Tyler Perry
yall know what a money shot is. right? it’s the moment that makes all the time spent watching or looking at something worth it. this can range from the seminal part of a movie to the semen-al part of a skin flick (see what i did there?). concerning young ladies who take to the pole to work their way through vet school, it’s usually a cooch shot.
and this is what you saw if you tuned in to the season premier of I Know This Aspirin Really Ain’t Gon Kill My Ass Fantasia For Real on VH1. at the top of the hour, Fantasia decides that it’s a great idea to put her Aunt Bunny (pictured at top) in a pair of booty shorts and take her to her pole dancing class with her. and let me just get this out of the way: yes, i absolutely want to take a pole dancing class now. let me also say that aunt bunny had nothing to do with this decision. it just looks so freaking fun. and i can only imagine how sexy id feel after that! prancin around in heels for an hour or however long?? pssh. you wouldn’t be able to tell my that my vajayjay aint made of 73 karat gold once i left that class. anyway. i digress.
so they go to the class and it’s broads spinnin and flippin and spread eaglin’ every whicha way. then the instructor shows Tasia and Aunt Bunny a move that consisted of sliding down the pole, puttin your hands on your knees and then bussin it open for the money shot. Tasia did decently i suppose. here’s Aunt Bunny’s money shot.
…so if the money shot, theoretically, is what brings your paycheck in, we may assume that Aunt Bunny’s performance will bring her some form of the following wages:
- a $10 Walmart gift card
- $8.31 and a handful of peppermints from the bottom of Sis. Odell’s good Sunday purse
- a pack of Newports and a buy one get one free coupon for Tussy
- some Kiss toenail french tips and a copy of ‘Vampire in Brooklyn’ on VHS
- half a book of foodstamps
- a 6-pack of Tab
make that money, aunt bunny. don’t let it make you.
| 1 | 2 |
Aretha Franklin: Halle Berry Should Portray Me In Film
ARE YOU SERIOUS
IM SO EXCITED THAT I MIGHT DIE!!
IT’S SO FLUFFYYYYY!!
remember their song “Your Love is a 187?”
am i the ONLY one who thinks this song sucked, in retrospect?? i tweeted about it and everybody came rushing to their defense! is it a nostalgia thing? it HAS to be a nostalgia thing. that song is straight up 4 minutes of horrendous metaphors, featuring:
- “You’re like a gangstress of love/so baby come and put a hit on me”
- “Baby you can pump like a gauge/or go faster than an automatic tec”
- “I’m yearnin’ for your 187/baby drop the bomb on me”
what kind of aural crack did they put in this song to make people like it??
check out the rest of the song discussion here, and please drop a line or two and let me know if i’m crazy, or if it’s everybody else that’s crazy. (it’s usually the latter.)
then get ready to love me and thank the homie Young H at Go In Radio!
he in all his glorious, giving goodness tweeted some stuff by the Terrence Blanchard Group that included a jazzed up version of Bilal’s fantastamzing ‘When Will You Call.’ is it better than the original? is anything ever better than the original? it’s really good though, and i just had to share it in the event that any other Bilal fans may see/hear it. listen/download here.
since listening to that version will probably make you want to hear the original, you can listen to that here.
i think it was to send you all a gospel version of the electric slide/cha cha slide/cupid shuffle.
heard this on the radio. it’s called the ‘sanctified slide.’ heard it in the car the other day. immediately said to myself ‘SWEET MOSES, PLEASE LET THERE BE A VIDEO.’ and you know what? there totally is.
i’m not sure why all of this made me so happy. i think i just like it when they make gospel versions of things that weren’t gospel in the first place. like if they made a gospel version of ‘pumps and a bump?’ i’d actually buy it. i haven’t bought a CD since 1999. damn a CD, even, i’d get that on cassingle. i also really like the dude calling out the moves. Jr. Deacon Thompson. in his pink tommy polo. i bet he wears that to every 1st Corinthian Leather Baptist Church picnic.
for those of you dancing along at home, the dance steps are as follows:
1 – walk in the spirit (even the spirit appreciates a good two-step)
2 – shake the devil off (did u know that jesus harlem shook lucifer away during the temptation on the mount?)
3 – stomp satan lower (satan: “ARISE, MINIONS! TONIGHT WE SHALL TORMENT THE EARTH AND CURSE ALL THAT IS—wait.. wait a second… is that Sister Jenkins orthopedic nursing shoes i’m feeling? shit. we gotta try this again tomorrow night, guys.”)
4 – dance like david danced (apparently, after slaying goliath, he threw his hands in the air and proceeded to wave them as if he just didn’t care. in a circle.)
GO IN PEACE + SIN NO MORE. also, clap, clap-clap your hands. amen.