Category Archives: Hillary Clinton

I’m f*cking Obama! :: Obama performs @ Def Comedy Jam




im done for the day.  my heart can’t take anymore.

an open letter to party-jumping hillary supporters.

i am moved to write on this after helping to edit this petition that nobody signed (lol), and after talkin abt it with a friend on the phone this afternoon.  we were discussing the AP report, now said to be untrue, that said Hillary was going to concede tonight.  so, we were talkin abt that, then got to talkin abt all the rabid Hillary supporters who seem dead set and certain on voting for McCain rather than Obama, should Obama get the nod, and as it becomes clearer and clearer that he will be the democratic nominee, this becomes more of an alarming problem to me.  i mean, its absurd. its completely ridiculous, selfish, and in my opinion, unpatriotic. 

here’s a bit from the petition i mentioned that pretty much sums up my thoughts:

This is alarming because it poses a such a huge threat to democratic success. We must not permit people to succumb to their prejudices; the votes that Hillary supporters will cast for McCain or for no one at all put in jeopardy the lives of additional soldiers who will no doubt be sent to Iraq under further Republican rule. This is unpatriotic. Putting the vitality of this country in danger simply to avoid voting for a black man is unpatriotic. Casting a spiteful vote for a man who will continue so many damaging, devastating policies instead of voting for a fully capable democratic leader is unpatriotic. And we need Senator Clinton to know that sitting idly by while her followers allow their prejudices get the best of them, setting the stage for four more years of global unrest, governmental unlawfulness, and national dissatisfaction is unpatriotic as well.

sigh.  i mean.. okay.  i, too, have a vagina.  black women have been in a unique position during the race between Obama and Clinton because we can see both sides of the fence.  i remember talking with my neice, who was then 14 yrs old, about the election and who she wanted to win, and she was a bit torn.  she said ‘well, i dont know; if either of them wins, i’ll be happy, because if a woman wins then i can be represented as a woman, but if a black person wins, i can be represented as a black person.’  i wonder if this touches on a potential reason as to why we dont see as big a number of Obama supporters who refuse to vote for Hillary if she gets the nod.  no matter who wins, at least there’s some form of minority in the office instead of another representative of the monolithic mythic norm that has forever had a boot on the collective neck of those in the margins.

anyway.  i can imagine how hillary’s white female supporters feel.  the feminist fight is a bitter, brutal one; i know this from my days of activism in college & after, both personally and politically.  when its man vs woman, there’s a big push and need for womanly toughness, a take-no-prisoners kind of spirit.  knuckle up, go toe to toe, dont take no for an answer.  since being so totally turned off by the Clinton camp and becoming a full fledged Obama supporter (note:  i was not always an Obama girl; i was undecided til Hillary & nem started wildin out), i sometimes forget that on the other side, this is man vs. woman.  not strictly, of course; im not trying to boil this down til there’s nothing but the issue of gender left, cause its clearly more than that.  but im just wondering if, for those feminists on Hillary’s side, this is where the bitterness that is leading so many people to say they’ll vote for McCain is coming from.  a strong, capable woman will have again been unfairly defeated by a big ol man, priviledged by his gender (nevermind the huge disadvantage that his race has posed).  i dont know though.  im sure there are plenty of men who dont give a good hoo-damn about what’s between who’s legs, they’re just not voting for Obama.  i am only theorizing out loud.

im still wandering though.  let’s take both race and gender out of the equation, though.  they don’t exist.  they are non-issues.  this is still fucked up!  at the very core of this circus, what you have is a group of people who are so dead set on their candidate being the nominee that rather than do the logical thing and vote for the person who is most similar in beliefs and ideals to their candidate of choice–that person of course being Obama, because he and Clinton’s agendas are not that different, and damn sure aren’t as distant as Clinton & McCain’s are–they’d rather vote for someone who’s policies and beliefs are closer to president Bush?  president gotdamn Bush?  the bastard with the lowest approval rating ever in the history of american presidents?!  the one that all democrats supposedly despise?  this is who you’d rather have in office? 

motherfucker, why??! (c) steve harvey

i’ll tell you why.  it’s not because you believe in what McCain stands for more than Obama.  it’s because you’re selfish, stubborn, sore, and sullen and so prideful that you can’t see straight.  you’re that little kid who brings the ball to the basketball court but won’t let anyone play with it if u get picked last, ruining the whole damn game for every damn body.    you’re selfish.  over all, you’re selfish.  and you’re weak, because you are letting your own selfish pride override your sense of duty as an American.  the security of our country doesn’t give a shit whether or not your first choice becomes president.  it doesn’t care.  it doesn’t want somebody at the helm because they have a flag pin on their jacket.  it wants someone who will do what is best for it, and if u really, honestly and truly believe that McCain is the better person for that, that he has the better ideas and all that jazz, then you should have been on his side in the first place, not Hillary’s.  when u cant get what you want, then you usually want the next best thing.  if u want Pepsi but can’t find it in a store, you go for Coke.  so now that yall can’t have Hillary, u go for McCain?  that’s like goin for castor oil when you can’t find Pepsi.  where’s the logic in that?

im gonna wrap this up soon cause im sure attention spans are quickly running out, but i do want to say that what really, really scares me, like truly and genuinely scares me about all the people who would rather vote McCain in office is this war.  right now, we, as american voters, literally have the lives of american soldiers, present and future, in our hands.  McCain is gonna keep us in Iraq.  i dont believe that Clinton or Obama would.  this is my genuine belief.  the way you vote can essentially save a bunch of young uniformed lives or send them out to slaughter continually for who knows how long.  think about that when you vote.  think about your own children.  would you be able to look them in the eye after you return home from voting for McCain and tell them that you may have just sent them to Iraq, a foreign country where the soldiers there aren’t afraid to die in the course of trying to kill you and your friends?  that will essentially be what you have done.  could you live with yourself and your decision if they go over there and never come back home? 

and how long ago was it that everybody was jumpin on Obama for not wearing a flag pin or putting his hand over his heart a few times?  that was unpatriotic, right?  but these same people who were on his ass about it can put their own country and the men and women who risk their lives to defend it in danger by voting for a man who will no doubt keep us locked in war for who knows how long, all because they dont like Obama? 

yall are gambling with something priceless, seriously.  to vote for that man just because you don’t want Obama to win is wreckless, irresponsible, unpatriotic, and dangerous, all around, if for no other reason than because we are at war right now. 

maybe people are making more of this than they should at this particular time, because there’s a bigger picture that we need to be paying attention to.  we need to cool out and see that right now, this cannot be a battle between man and woman.  it cannot be about black vs white.  it cannot be about ‘i just like her better than him.’  it HAS to be about whats best for this country vs a continuation of the bullshit we’ve been suffering through for 8 years.  it needs to be about democrat vs republican, nothing more, nothing less. 

i dont like Hillary Clinton.  as a person.  i don’t like her.  but guess what, if she gets this nomination?  i will be a Hillary Clinton campaign donating motherfucker.  i will vote for her because even though i don’t care much for her as a person, i can still see that she’s the better choice over McCain.  if either one of these folks wins the nomination, be it Hillary or Barack, we will be in far better shape than we have been for over a decade. 

no matter what happens, i will not vote for John McCain because i love this country and i want the best for it.  i hope that one day, one day very, very soon, Hillary’s supporters will be able to say the same.

stop this foolishness. sign this damn petition because those 8 signatures are really pathetic (lmao wtf, Jordanne!) .

Democrat 08.


alright, that takes care of the seriousness for the rest of this year.  we now return you to your regularly scheduled blog about celebrity weaves, fat asses, and poot stories.

petition to hillary: get some actright! :: lol @ mccain’s life

sort of a tie-in with the post about mccain’s 175th birthday shindig the day the katrina hit, i have two things for you.

the first is a petition that a compadre of mine worked up, basically tellin hillary ‘looka here.  your people are mangy racists who are gonna plunge this country into peril and we’re gonna need you to do somethin abt that k thanks bye.”

its addressing the fact that so many of hillary’s followers would rather vote for mccain or just not vote at all rather than vote for obama.  and that brings me to my second item:

you’d rather vote for this guy?  really?

…how many chromosomes are u missing?

and wtf is up with that creepy blink he does?  it makes my insides itch.  in a bad way.

hillary: u can’t choose ur family, but u can choose ur pastor.

that’s hill’s official comment on rev. wright (i cannot BELIEVE we are still stuck on this, btw). 

lol.  u cant choose some family, but im pretty sure u can choose ur spouse.  hope that lying adulterer she chose to stick with is working well for her. *cough* the irony is a bit hilarious there

but, i find it even hilariouser that the religious association she chose is, apparently, an uberconservative, fascist-esque religious group known as “The Family”  (other ‘religious groups’ known as ‘the family’ include the Children of God cult and Charles Manson’s little garden of happy followers).

here’s an excerpt that was excerpted in barbara erenreich’s article about another article @ the huffington post:

During the 1960s the Family forged relationships between the U.S. government and some of the most anti-Communist (and dictatorial) elements within Africa’s postcolonial leadership. The Brazilian dictator General Costa e Silva, with Family support, was overseeing regular fellowship groups for Latin American leaders, while, in Indonesia, General Suharto (whose tally of several hundred thousand “Communists” killed marks him as one of the century’s most murderous dictators) was presiding over a group of fifty Indonesian legislators. During the Reagan Administration the Family helped build friendships between the U.S. government and men such as Salvadoran general Carlos Eugenios Vides Casanova, convicted by a Florida jury of the torture of thousands, and Honduran general Gustavo Alvarez Martinez, himself an evangelical minister, who was linked to both the CIA and death squads before his own demise.

sounds to me like hill & her happy family are a bit more threatening than a rightly-disgruntled black man in chicago, no?

the rest of the article is here.  more info on The Family is here and here.  absurdity is fricken everywhere.

sinbad tells the truth abt this hillary sniper bullhockey.
“i aint lyin!  AM I LYIN??!”

snipers.  corkscrew landings.  ‘misstatements.’  sinbad?  LIES.  outright, baldheaded lies are all up & through that mix, and i wanted to get to the bottom of it, per usual.  so, i sat down with sinbad for a short chit chat on the issue.  well, i sat down; sinbad sort of paced back and forth holding an invisible microphone as he answered my questions.  to the best of his ability.

BmcP:  Sinbad! thank you so much for agreeing to talk with me.

Sinbad: welcome!  welcome, come on in, have a sit down.. thank you for comin out, you look great tonight, i tell you what.

BmcP:  well thanks!  so, as you know, i want to talk with you in more detail about that trip to bosnia you took with then-first lady hillary clinton.

Sinbad:  man, that was WILD man!  things are CRAZY!  its a lotta crazy stuff in the news today man, im talkin cuh-ray-ZEE!

BmcP: right.  so, were you on the actual aircraft with hillary clinton?  were you on separate crafts?

Sinbad:  i seen clinton!  oh yeah, i seen clinton.  clinton’s great tho, you know.  HILLARY GOT A BIG OLE BOOTY, MAN!  big high booty, man, booty just be sittin up there like ‘WHAT?!’ (here he did a very weird waddle around the room that i didn’t quite understand.  this waddle was made more perplexing by the purple leather pants he wore).

BmcP:  okay… um.  okay.  so, i think that means that you were on the same flight with hillary?

Sinbad:  and the plane!  oh man, that plane was CRAZY!  that plane was just up in the air like ‘WOO!  i tell you i am HIGH!  i aint never been this high in my life!  i aint hangin out with Rico ‘nem NO MORE!’

BmcP:  …so the ride was bumpy?  kinda tumultuous.

Sinbad:  naw, the ride was straight.

BmcP:  oh, it was?

Sinbad:  but i’ll tell you who wasn’t straight though, that FLIGHT ATTENDANT!  that flight attendant was CRAZY, MAN!  flight attendant walkin round, just walkin and a lookin and just ‘HAAAY GIRL’ a-WHAT?  it was CRAZY!

BmcP:  alright.  alright alright.  let’s talk about what happened when you landed.  news footage showing your reception shows a young girl reading a poem to hillary.  what can you tell me of that? 

Sinbad: KIDS!  man i love kids, man, i got kids!  and when you have kids, life just gets crazy, man, i mean it gets CRAY.  ZEE!  specially lil girls, man, lil girls?  lil girls just be all, ‘lalalalaaaa, i like tea parties!’ and i be like ‘little girl YOU ARE CRAZY!  YOU ARE CRAZY, LITTLE GIRL!  JUST CRAZY!’  and then them lil trainin bras yall gotta wear, man that is just–

BmcP: alright Sinbad, i have a responsibility here to myself, my readers, and the world in general to deliver the truth to the best of my ability.  i am not here for fun, i am not here for my health, and i am not here to watch you vomit the last 15 years of your career at my feet, understand?  now tell me something about what happened that day, or i’m turnin over some tables VERY, VERY SOON.

Sinbad:  …

 BmcP:  ?

Sinbad: …i had a tv show once.


i guess it was almost productive.  sorry, guys.

keith olbermann takes hillary to the woodshed.

this is just too good not to spread around the internets.

the clip below is keith olbermann’s special comment on hillary clinton a day or two ago (i found it linked @ okp).  please witness as olbermann verbally beats the shit out of hillary with a wet towel for nearly 10 full minutes and sits her in a corner so she can think about what she’s done re: this geraldine ferraro mess. 

 this man takes it all the way to churh, runs through the sanctuary, gets the holy ghost, and brings it back again.  i actually shouted ‘hallelujah!’ somewhere around the 8 minute mark and when the whole thing was over i turned around lookin for ushers passin around a collection plate. 

i think ive found my vote for obama’s VP.

i get moist everytime obama opens his mouth.

and for once, this has nothing to do with bodily fantasies.

witness as hillary gets excited about her new ice cream cone and is then forced to eat it, covered in sand and fire ants, after obama smacks that shit out her hand and onto the playground floor.

i do so love me a quick-witted, slightly arrogant, acid-tongued man. though im a bit worried that an acid tongue wldn’t feel so nice on one’s cooter button.

i will now cease and desist before this entry ends up somewhere it really doesn’t need to be.

Hillary’s energizing spirit drives the nation. To sleep.

LINCOLN, NEBRASKA — Hillary spoke to a crowd attempting to rally support and comatized them all with her invigorating message of whatever the hell she talks about.

“Oh, I thought it was wonderful,” said 75-year-old Pearlie Swann, “she was up there, you know, and she was talkin’ bout this or the other and I thought to myself, ‘You know, I like her. She talks so good and thinks a lot about everything, and she wants everybody to be healthy and that means a lot to me, you know, because I got this boil on my back that I just can’t seem to get rid of, and then the next thing you know, I woke up and it was the best day of my life.”

She added, as an afterthought, “You know that Obama is such a nice lookin’ young man, isn’t he?”


thanks, D. 🙂