Category Archives: pictures

this christmas, elmo says:

TICKLE DEEZ NUTZ, BIYETCH!

(saw this at Target yesterday.  tried to move his hand off his furry little crotch in the name of decency, but it’s sewed on there, so elmo really means that shit.)

mightiest mullet ever.

so a couple weeks ago i was havin lunch with a friend when i think i see something that i possibly couldn’t have seen out of the corner of my eye.  as long as i looked at him head-on, it was evident that i was looking at an asian man dressed in business casual clothing.  but then he turned around and…

‘…is that a tract of hair glued in the center of his head??’

I WAS SO THROWN!!  it really did look like he just had a regular guy’s hair cut and just laid a huge ream of Yaki in the middle of it, creating the mightiest mullet i have ever seen in my life.  and, need i remind you, i live in KENTUCKY, the #2 mullet capital of the world (indiana is #1).

and i dont know if this is racist or not, but what really messed me up about it was the fact that he was asian!  i have NEVER seen an asian man with a mullet before, and to have my first one be so dramatic.. i just didn’t know what to do with it.

so i took a picture of it.

im not good at being inconspicuous with my sneak picture taking so this is the best i could do.

Mel Gibson needs to hire some kittens.

so batshit Mel Gibson went a little bit batshittier in the days that i havent been updating.  im sure yall know that so we won’t go over the details.

but the homie young h of go in radio tweeted me a gem over the twitter earlier today and a lightbulb brighter than a thousand suns exploded over my head.  this is it!  here’s the answer!  from here on out, Mel Gibson, whenever you open your mouth to say any gotdamned thing, or when you have to respond to something else dumb and criminal that you’ve said:  say it with kittens.  straight up.  i mean you’ll still look like a dick with a chemical imbalance, but at least you’ll be able to make some people say ‘awwwww!’ in the process.

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family portrait of the day

mom:  “please hurry up and take the picture.  the valium is wearing off.”

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fun with google image search: Steve Harvey Suits

i was reminded of the ridiculous extraness of Steve Harvey’s suits today while workin on today’s post at SplackCent that required me to google the phrase ‘steve harvey suit.’  it’s quite a varied collection, with myriad colors and sizes to choose from.

PLAID PRINCE

Available Colors:

•Oh Lawd Lavendar
•Rench Around Red
•Have Mercy Mauve

Available Sizes:

•I Remember When Ike Hit Tina
•I Remember When Teddy P Hit That Tree
•I Remember When Marion Berry Hit That Pipe

Special Offer: Half off a pair of Gators in Righteous Robin’s Egg Blue

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oh, this is SCREAMING for a caption.

“Seriously, who draws a mustache and beard on somebody when they fall asleep?  REAL MATURE.”

“I told Cora Mae I wanted lilies and sequins on this church hat.  DO YOU SEE LILIES OR SEQUINS ON THIS CHURCH HAT??'”

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fun with google image search: Olan Mills

here’s a confession for you:  i have never, ever taken an Olan Mills portrait, neither solo nor with family, and i gotta tell you… i feel like i’m missing out on an important part of the black experience.  one of my current life dreams/goals is to go get one of those 2-part pictures, the one with you sitting and smiling happily in the foreground, and a picture of your serious thoughtful face floating around in the back ground.  yall know what i’m talkin bout, right?

so until that happens, i have to sate myself with looking at others.  i found some fun ones via google’s image search.  not all of them are Olan Mills, but all of them are freakin hilarious.

*The library backdrop. Oh, why hello there, young scholar!  How lucky of you to find me here amongst my many leather-bound books!  It is here that I spend all of my days meandering among those who truly understand me: Tolstoy, Euripides, Kafka, and Sista Soulja.

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