Category Archives: politics

Roy Ashburn: Totally Not Gay.

SACRAMENTO, California–California state senator Roy Ashburn was arrested for DUI Wednesday morning.  The senator reportedly got into his car drunk after leaving a gay club–ironic, considering his steadfast stance against gay rights.  Ashburn has released an official apology and statement on the incident:

I am deeply sorry for my actions and offer no excuse for my poor judgement.  I accept complete responsibility for my conduct and am prepared to accept the consequences for what I did.

About that whole gay club part, though, I want to make this perfectly clear:  I’m totally not gay.  I wasn’t at the gay club because I was, like, doin’ gay stuff or lookin’ for gay stuff to do.  I initially got there at first because–well okay, here’s what happened, okay?  So I’m out driving around and I see this pregnant lady, and she’s on fire.  So of course I have to stop and help her.  So I pull over and I go to look for her and I think I see her go into this place called the Pink Pole, and I’m not thinking at this point “oh, this must be a gay club!”  I’m just thinking, “man, I have to find this pregnant lady who was totally on fire!”  So I walk in there and I’m all, “hey, pregnant lady, where are you?  You can’t be in here right now, you’re totally on fire!”  And then I look around and I didn’t see the lady but I saw all this gay stuff happening and I thought it would be a good time to talk to these young men and figure you why they were doing what they were doing, so I sat down at the bar and was talking to this young man and he bought me a beer and then I bought a few more, but it was only so I’d have something to do while I was talking to this kid and trying to figure out how I can strengthen my crusade against gay stuff.  But me?  Nope.  Totally not gay.

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anti-obama healthcare plan sign of the day

LOL.  so yall know i love President Boo (known also as Obama) with all my heart and soul til the end of all time, and i’m bout sick of all the Kanye hullabaloo as anyone, but this is too awesome.

(via the Huffington Post)

the belle of the (inaugural) ball

so i was all set to hop on to wordpress today and type about how stunning michelle looked last night.  because it’s true, she really really did look stunning.  i was very pleased to see that she stayed away from crazy ass betsey johnson’s designs.  she looked phenomenal, as i’m sure you’ve noticed; i thought her first outfit of the day was atually kind of old lady-ish, but apparently i’m the only one who think s so, so it’s prolly just in my head.  she looked gorgeous in her jason wu, too.. so refreshing to see women in the political world NOT cooped up in pantsuits.  let them sexy shoulders breathe girl!

i have to report, though, that someone showed ‘chelle up last night.  oh yes lord–jill biden COMPLETELY stole the show.

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omg.  not enough is being said about this dress.  it is GORGEOUS!  i much prefer this dress to the gown michelle wore (while it was a lovely gown, might i remind you), and i actually would have loved to see michelle in something like this–her skin would carry that color so well.

jill definitely rocked it though.  it was designed by Reem Acra, whom i have never heard of.  i hope her buisness jumps through the roof after this though, cause Reem is apparently doin the damn thing.  it just brightens everything; i never noticed that jill was such a beautiful woman until this gown.  i mean everything was on point, hair, makeup, all that.  kudos!  kudos all around!

what would jesus wear?

so designers everywhere are clamoring to get michelle’s bits and pieces into their designs for her boo’s inauguration.  i just took a look at some of the sketches and she’s got some great choices!  unfortunately, she has some sucky ones too.

these caught my eye, for better or for worse:

 

 

 

Monique Lhullier.  i really like this one because i think michelle’s skin tone carries red really, really well, and she’s got like 1800 miles of legs to rock that dress with.  perfect for the length and flourish of the dress.  go nique!

 

 

 

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george bush pardons john forte

Monday, November 24, 2008 — WASHINGTON, D.C.:  The presidential tradition of manic pardoning continued today, with soon-to-be former President George W. Bush issuing pardons to 14 chosen convicted and jailed persons around the nation, and commuting the sentences of two others.  Among the names on the list are Paul Julian McCurdy of Sulphur, Okla., sentenced for misapplication of bank funds; Daniel Figh Pue III of Conroe, Texas, convicted of illegal treatment, storage and disposal of a hazardous waste without a permit; Leslie Owen Collier of Charleston, Mo., who pleaded guilty in 1995 to unlawfully killing three bald eagles in southeast Missouri; and rapper John Forte.

Forte was arrested in 1994 after being caught with a suitcase containing 30 pounds of liquid cocaine at a US airport, of all places.  He was sentenced to 14 years in prison, but is now faced with 5 years of probation after Bush’s decision to issue a pardon, a decision that, frankly, caught many people off guard.  We spoke with an insider in the Bush camp to get some background information on just what brought this decision about.

“It’s pretty simple,” said an aid speaking on the condition of anonymity.  “Well, in his mind it’s pretty simple.  He said to us, ‘look–‘” here, he lifted his arms slightly, jutted his head forward, and curled his lips into a smart alec yet completely oblivious and dead beyond the surface sneer, seemingly in impression of President Bush– “‘look, uh, y’know.. uh, the people wanted change and now they got this uh, this.. this color–this brown guy up fixin to be presidunt.  I, yknow, I’m in a heap’a shit, heheheh… we’re on the playground and erv’body wants to be on his team, so yknow what, rather than be on that court with no team, I’m gon’ git right off and be cheerleader instead.  Heheheheheheh.'”  When asked to expound on what the President may have meant, he said plainly, “Black is the new black!  The new president’s black, he’s appointing a lot of black people to White House positions.  Everybody hates the President and he’s trying to fix that.  He’s trying to get in on this new trend.  By pardoning John Forte.  Cause Forte’s a rapper.  And black people like rap.  ‘I’m cool with ’em now, heheheheheh!'”

We then contacted a man who is currently imprisoned and has been fighting for his release, along with some notable names in the entertainment industry, Mumia Abu-Jamal, who was convicted of murdering a police officer and sentenced to life in 1981.  Asked to comment, he said, “Ain’t this about a bitch??!”

The Impoverished Times


john mccain gets rick rolled

and they talk about liberal media bias?  where were the reports on THIS, huh?  i smell a coverup.

bob cesca to joe lieberman: ‘u R teh sux0rs, n00b!’

i love bob cesca.  i thought i had him in my links, but apparently i didnt before today.  bob is an all around awesome writer & thinker and owner of the best blog name EVER.  he’s got a new book out too!  he’s also a contributor to the Huffington Post, where i ran across his open letter to Joe Lieberman today.  its a great read, but a long one, so i’ll only post pieces and portions here.  if you havent been by his blog yet, you should sooooooooo go.  now.  quickly.  RUN!

Dear Senator Lieberman,

Congratulations! You got away with it! So despite having supported and endorsed the Republican candidate for president — and going so far as to question the patriotism of the Democratic nominee — you’ve managed to keep your chairmanship. By rights, you should’ve been summarily ejector-seated from your committees, bonked on the head with your gavels — cartoon-style — and hauled from the Democratic caucus naked and on a rail whilst being pelted with wadded-up copies of your RNC address.

You got away with it, despite those meddling kids, right?

Not so fast.

I submit to you, Senator Lieberman, that you were punished yesterday more than you realize. Stick with me on this. I’ll explain.

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