Category Archives: wtf

hair of the day

…surely this can’t get any worse.  right?

MOTHERFUCKER

(found via this lovely lady’s flickr)

your mom is at the club.

it’s quite unfortunate.

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yosisterinlaw.com.

I WILL BEAT THE SYSTEM IN ITS ASS.

see, black people?  this is how we’re gonna get ahead.  get up, get out, and get somethin.  meet Alabama’s Kim Malone, your sister in law.  not sister-in-law.  but your sister in law.  kinda like when somebody calls you her sister in Christ.  make sense?  awesome.

she’s here to give you straight legal talk when you need it most.  see that slight “i will bust yo ass” squint she’s got to her eyes?  that’s what you want in a lawyer.  somebody who gives it to everybody straight, no chaser.  and that appears to be what she’s all about.  according to the website, she also “(doesn’t) mind telling you when there is nothing left to do but PRAY!”  well praise God & pass the writ of habeas corpus!

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ladies, valentine’s day is approaching.

have you done your squats yet?

you are dead to me, Iago the parrot!!!

"squawk! Polly needs some racial sensitivity classes! squawk!"

i have always defended Gilbert Gottfried when people would talk about how annoying and unfunny he was.  i liked him, largely because Aladdin is/was one of my favorite racist ass Disney movies ever, and Gilbert, of course, was the voice of Iago, Jafar’s hatin’ ass, evil ass sidekick.

turns out that evilness followed Gilbert right out of that soundbooth and has been with him ever since, and is illustrated in this audio clip from Shabooty.com (which i found via fungkeblakchik via twitter) in which he finds it appropriate to call Barack Obama the quote/unquote n-word.

go listen here.  then come back here so we can rant and rave together.  i’ll wait.

ready?

okay.

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PANTS ON THE GROUND

PANTS ON THE GROUND

PANTS ON THE GROUND

LOOKIN LIKE A FOOL WITCHO PANTS ON THE GROUND

WITH THE GOLD IN YO MOUTH

HAT TURNED SIDEWAYS PANTS HIT THE GROUND

CALL YOURSELF A COOL CAT LOOKIN LIKE A FOOL

WALKIN ROUND TOWN WITCHO PANTS ON THE GROUND

GIDDEYUP!  HEY!  GETCHO PANTS OFF THE GROUND

PANTS OFF THE GROUND, MOTHERFUCKER

GET YOUR FUCKING PANTS OFF THE GROUND!  SHIT!!

AND DON’T BE RUNNIN IN AND OUT THIS HOUSE EITHER, YOU MAKIN MY LIGHT BILL GO UP!!

Mo Money Taxes.

so.  im sitting here in my room, watching my big extra super fantastic big ol screen tv when it suddenly explodes, displaying 40 inches of ridiculousness in the form of the commercial i’m about to show you.  before we get to the viewing, let me tell you a bit about the company.

Mo Money Taxes is apparently a tax preparation service.  they seem to have found some level of success, since, according to the website, they have multiple offices pretty much all over the American south, and also some midwestern states.

that being said, let me tell you that this particular commercial features a large white man with green hair yelling phrases such as:  “I’M TOE UP FROM THE FLO UP!”, “BLAME IT ON THE AH-AH-AH-AH-AH-AHKKAHOL!”, “WHERE DEY DO DAT AT?!'” and “CALM THE HELL CALM DOWN!”  it also features an angry man standing and yelling “IT’S FINNA GET REAL UGLY UP IN HERE!'”  ready?

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