Category Archives: your nappy ass roots

your nappy ass roots: the Black Power Ranger

Zack Taylor was the first African American Power Ranger and the only black fighter in the original founding five.  A confident opponent, Zack also enjoyed playing sports and dancing, “especially to a fresh beat bumping out his homeboy’s boombox” (per Wikipedia).  He enjoyed dancing so much, in fact, that he often incorporated it into his fighting, eventually developing his own style called ‘Hip Hop Kido,’ which featured numerous body rolls for no clearly defined reason at all.

Zack excelled as a Ranger, facing and defeating several opponents, including a particularly gangster crab.  In spite of his success, however, Zack faced racist harassment from his fellow Rangers (who often called him Michigan J. Frog due to his constant dancing) and criticism from the black community, drawing protests from the likes of Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson.

Unable to understand why people were so angry about his funky fresh moves, Zack quit the Rangers and soon developed a drinking problem.  Ironically, it was the very thing that drove him to drink–his insatiable love of dance–that would prove to save his soul; Zack got clean and took up salsa dancing, becoming the 2004 Mayan World Salsa champion.  He continues to dance and teach to this day, making it possible for anyone to dance with the Black Power Ranger for as little as $10.

(We’re not making that last part up.)

your nappy ass roots: Stoney Jackson

Stonewall “Stoney” Jackson was born in Richmond, VA, in 1960.  A natural on the stage, he toured Europe with the Young Shakespeareans, a highly prestigious acting troupe that admits only 5 new members worldwide every 5 years.  Stoney gained whirlwind notoriety overseas as the Moore Othello by the time he was 8 years old, and to those who know, is considered one of the greatest black acting talents of all time.

His career took a turn for the worse, however, when, upon returning to the United States, he made a bold move and got a Jheri Curl, a popular hairstyle of the 80s.  Despite his illustrious career history, the glistening, oily strands atop his head made it impossible for the populace to take him seriously.  In 1990, after completing his run as Travis on the popular sitcom 227, Jackson founded N.A.A.J.C (National Association for the Advancement of Jheri Curls) in hopes of obtaining equal rights for those with the hairstyle.  His career never recovered and he has been acting in straight-to-video movies, such as ‘4-Bidden‘ and ‘The Thief and the Stripper‘ ever since.

your nappy ass roots: Lamar David Little

Born in 1928, Lamar David Little worked as a welder in Fort Wayne, IN.  A fan of tasty snacks, he, like many black people both past and present, was a fan of eating the nutty kernels inside of sunflower seeds.  Being a man of diverse taste, however, he soon tired of the lack of flavor options and quit his job to spend as much time as possible creating new flavors for the seeds.  He tried to write suitable formulas for all his favorite flavors, and after his pig foot, watermelon, and malt liquor recipes didn’t work, he settled on BBQ in 1982.  It remains a popular treat for black America to this day; many believe that pouring a handful and shaking the seeds around enhances the flavor.

each one teach one.

your nappy ass roots: Jesse Jackson

welcome to this year’s first official edition of Your Nappy Ass Roots, a series that will bring you little known black history facts that The Man has tried to suppress in an effort to keep us all complacent, misguided, and misinformed.  i’m all about teachin the babies; please pass these important facts along to any and everybody you know.  this goes for you too, white people.  because its not just black history; it’s OUR history.

first up:  the Reverend Jesse Jackson.

would you, could you, employee? could you back it up on me?

Jesse Louis Jackson, Sr. was born in Greenville, South Carolina on October 8, 1941.  Jesse showed an affinity for poetry at a very early age, completely memorizing the works of William Shakespeare by the age of 14. 

At the tender age of 18, he became a ghostwriter for the renowned Dr. Seuss, who borrowed from some of Jesse’s own works, including “How the White Man Killed the Ghetto” (Every black in the ghetto could have a fair shot/if the White Man would stop feeding them cocaine and pot),” “One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Jew Fish (too offensive to repost here.  sorry.),”  “Black Man’s a Sham (I will not kiss Obama’s butt/I’d rather cut Obama’s nuts!),” and “The Dance of Denial (I would not, could not have a child/outside of wedlock, ’cause that is foul./Okay, I had a little fling/but yall, that baby don’t look like me!).”

He is currently working on a rap album featuring Lil Wayne, T-Pain and Young Somebody entitled “Down with Foes, Up with Hoes” to be released this summer.

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