Tag Archives: Barack Obama

Dear Mr. President:

you really need to stop doing this to me.

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you are dead to me, Iago the parrot!!!

"squawk! Polly needs some racial sensitivity classes! squawk!"

i have always defended Gilbert Gottfried when people would talk about how annoying and unfunny he was.  i liked him, largely because Aladdin is/was one of my favorite racist ass Disney movies ever, and Gilbert, of course, was the voice of Iago, Jafar’s hatin’ ass, evil ass sidekick.

turns out that evilness followed Gilbert right out of that soundbooth and has been with him ever since, and is illustrated in this audio clip from Shabooty.com (which i found via fungkeblakchik via twitter) in which he finds it appropriate to call Barack Obama the quote/unquote n-word.

go listen here.  then come back here so we can rant and rave together.  i’ll wait.

ready?

okay.

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president obama is trying to make me break up with him.

truth told, he’s found the way to do it.

i was so excited when i saw that he had my boys goin to the final 4 this march.

i was even more exciteder when i saw he had em goin to the championship game.

but i was PUT OUT when i saw that he got us losing to north carolina!  what the french!!??  how u gon down my dudes like that??  in my life, there are 3 things that u dare not talk about in my presence:  my mama, my weight, or my cardinals.  i really thought i was gonna have to end it over this.

but then i saw that picture of him palming that ball and my ladyparts got all tingly and i forgave him.

anyway.

LOUISVILLE 09!

Obama picks North Carolina to win NCAA title

Associated Press

BRISTOL, Conn.Barack Obama picked North Carolina to defeat Louisville for the NCAA championship, a relatively safe selection for a trailblazing president.

Obama spent part of Tuesday making his tournament picks for ESPN, which posted his completed bracket online Wednesday and showed the First Fan filling it out with Andy Katz on the noon edition of SportsCenter.

The president had top-seeded Pittsburgh join the No. 1-seeded Tar Heels and Cardinals in the Final Four, but chose second-seeded Memphis to beat Connecticut in the West Regional.

Perhaps showing some indecision, Obama initially had the Panthers playing Louisville for the national title in the file posted online. Pitt was scratched out of the title game in favor of North Carolina, which in turn replaced Louisville in the “champion” box.

“Here’s what I like about Carolina: experience and balance,” Obama said.

Familiarity, too. Obama played a pickup game with Tyler Hansbrough and the Tar Heels while campaigning in North Carolina last April.

things chaka khan likes: expensive water, tea, candles.

things chaka khan hates:  alcohol, stairs, and alcohol.

i divined this information from this tour rider i found @ listoftheday via the smoking gun.

khan3

i dunno, call me crazy, but i think she should have been more of an asshole about things.  seriously, if im ever important enough to have a list of demands for things that need to be waiting for me wherever i go?  i’m puttin somebody to WORK.  itd look just like this:

Richy von Moneyheimer (formerly Brokey McPoverty) must have the entire second, fifth, and eleventieth floors completely to herself.  each room should contain the following:

One (1) life sized card-board cut outs of Bea Arthur

One (1) life sized, full length poster of soul singer D’Angelo circa 2000 on the ceilings above the beds.  IMPORTANT:  the poster MUST be of D’Angelo circa 2000. Any resemblance of singer D’Angelo to rap star Ol’ Dirty Bastard  is strictly unacceptable.

Three (3) hundred thousand barillion lbs of crab rangoon from the New Number One Panda Dragon Emperor restaurant

All tubs must be filled with the sweet virgin tears of disillusioned orphans, shed upon the realization that Santa Claus doesn’t exist

Four (4) large bowls of red peanut M&Ms

Four (4) large bowls of blue peanut M&Ms

Two (2) midgets dressed in red and blue M&M costumes

Plenty of room for the aforementioned midgets to enact a Bloods & Crips M&M battle upon request

President-Elect Barack Obama in as little clothing as possible

Lots and lots of security to keep his stronger-than-me wife away from my quarters.

is… is that an ab??

MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS INDEED!!!

commence:  obama lust

initiate moist panniedrawls in T-5… 4… 3… 2…

john mccain gets rick rolled

and they talk about liberal media bias?  where were the reports on THIS, huh?  i smell a coverup.

bob cesca to joe lieberman: ‘u R teh sux0rs, n00b!’

i love bob cesca.  i thought i had him in my links, but apparently i didnt before today.  bob is an all around awesome writer & thinker and owner of the best blog name EVER.  he’s got a new book out too!  he’s also a contributor to the Huffington Post, where i ran across his open letter to Joe Lieberman today.  its a great read, but a long one, so i’ll only post pieces and portions here.  if you havent been by his blog yet, you should sooooooooo go.  now.  quickly.  RUN!

Dear Senator Lieberman,

Congratulations! You got away with it! So despite having supported and endorsed the Republican candidate for president — and going so far as to question the patriotism of the Democratic nominee — you’ve managed to keep your chairmanship. By rights, you should’ve been summarily ejector-seated from your committees, bonked on the head with your gavels — cartoon-style — and hauled from the Democratic caucus naked and on a rail whilst being pelted with wadded-up copies of your RNC address.

You got away with it, despite those meddling kids, right?

Not so fast.

I submit to you, Senator Lieberman, that you were punished yesterday more than you realize. Stick with me on this. I’ll explain.

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