Tag Archives: Bill Clinton

‘nice job, jesse! oops, i mean obama!’

im never the first to hear about shit.  my interest in politics has always been near non-existant, and other than barack obama lookin like a bacon & egg sammich to me, i havent really paid much attention to anything going on until recently.  as such, my commentary on bill’s reaction to obama’s win in south carolina is a couple of days late.

quoth bill the clinton:

“Jesse Jackson won South Carolina in ’84 and ’88.  Jackson ran a good campaign. And Obama ran a good campaign here.”

…daaaaaaaaaaaaaamn!  wtf!

im gonna be honest here and admit that the natural hater in me stood up inside my soul and applauded wildly because *that* shit is some pure grade A prime cut hateration for that ass.  he compared my delicious Obama sandwhich to day old Jesse Jackson meat surprise, and really, a comparison to Jackson is a searing, cutting insult.  like id be ready to fight if somebody compared me or my mama to Jesse Jackson.  in the streets.  with brass knuckles.  or shit without brass knuckles, i dont care, if u comparin me to someone who is at least *seen* as a big joke, i got honor to defend.  so, game recognizes game.  clinton landed a good blow.

but all that aside, fuck bill clinton for that yo!  i mean i wish he would have just kept it all the way real, pretended he was in the privacy of his own home for a second, eatin a baloney and egg sammich with his feet propped up on a coffee table (in my head, that is bill clinton’s favorite snacktime snack), and said: ‘so what, darkie!  remember what happened the last time your kind tried for this and got south carolina?  NOTHIN!  have a blessed day!’

 i mean really.  and like i dont wanna foo foo on jesse havin the balls to run for the presidency when he did, but come on.  jesse never had a viable chance.  obama does, and to compare his run now to jesse’s then totally strips him of that.  and for a statement like that to come from a campaign that contends that race doesnt matter?  are u serious?! this shit is like a KKK & jigaboo stew, just chock full of race relations, prejudices and vitamin D + calcium. 

you know, as of like a week ago i had no idea who i was pulling for, but as this sort of mudslinging goes on, im really being distanced from hillary, and her loudmouthed husband is helping out with that a great deal.  like they’re just not likeable people, and i think that in addition to having good ideas, plans, goals, and just being a good politician.. you have to be likeable.  i cld be flawed in thinking so, but im a right-brainer.  highly emotional.  i need to see some strain of humanity in you for me to decide that you’re okay in my book. 

watch it, billy boy.  the acid brilliance of your tongue just may fuck up things for your wife.


…that was a *really* good jab.  omg.

michelle obama to the clintons: ‘stfu, hax!’

i dunno how old this is, and tactic wise, i dont know how much of this is new.  and when it comes to politics, i dont know nothin bout nothin.  but even i know that hilary and bill been on some othershit with the mudslingin lately.  like, for real.  let ME be obama’s wife.  i’d be ready to see either one of them clintons in a dark alley over them talkin wreckless about my man.  i never even considered how his *real* wife (i’m hatin, btw) feels abt it and what she’s said, if anything at all.

today though, i run across this.  now i admit, my personal feelings for Obama have kept me from liking or even considering his wife at all.  it kinda kills my lusting for him, you know?  but, i have to say that her response was well put together and professional while retaining a bit of bite and venom, and i respect that.  i bet i know what she really wanted to say though.  allow me to translate:

“In the past week or two, another candidate’s spouse has been getting an awful lot of attention. ”  – translation:  “Oh I’m sorry, Bill, I didn’t know YO punk ass was runnin for president again.  What’s that?  You’re not?  Oh.  …stfu then.”

“We knew getting into this race that Barack would be competing … with Senator Clinton and President Clinton at the same time.” – translation:  “You owe her after creepin up in somebody else’s sheets.  We understand that, homie.”

“We expected that Bill Clinton would tout his record from the nineties and talk about Hillary’s role in his past success. That’s a fair approach and a challenge we are prepared to face. ” –  translation:  “True, yall did what yall did and everything, and it was cool and all, I’m not hatin on that.”

“What we didn’t expect, at least not from our fellow Democrats, are the win-at-all-costs tactics we’ve seen recently. We didn’t expect misleading accusations that willfully distort Barack’s record.”  – translation:  “Yall muhfkers is DIRTY.  If yall want a fight, you goin after the wrong person, COME SEE ME.”

“Barack Obama isn’t relying on a former president of the United States to campaign for him.” – translation:  “Hillary Clinton is relying on a former president of the United States to campaign for her.  …Bitch.”

“He’s relying on us — you, me, and hundreds of thousands of people like us who are giving whatever they can afford to support this movement.  Please stand up in the face of these new attacks. Make your first online donation of $50 today and own a piece of this campaign …” – translation:  “The doors of the church are open.  We’ll start the collection plate at the left side of the sanctuary.”

now once again.  i do NOT think hillary clinton is a bitch at all.  i actually respect her a great deal.  but all i know is if *i* was married to Obama and she & her dude get to talkin like they have been?  all bets are off.  it’s go time.

i guess that’s why im not married to Obama.

sigh.  pour me another drink.