so, you’re buying Tyrese’s book, huh?

that’s pretty cool.  i mean i kind of question it, given his history of hard to decipher, slightly asinine tweet philosophising, but it’s your money.  do what you will with it.

something you should know, though.. for Tyrese, “staying out of your own way” apparently means stalking your baby’s mother and sleeping in your car in front of her place all night.  yeah, that happened.  last night, actually.

uncomfy moments in “Histeria” history

not pictured: the kid in a Gestapo uniform.

Do you guys remember the WB catoon “Histeria?”  It was an Animaniacs-esque show that sought to entertain children while teaching them about world history.  Now, to a history freak like me, this show is just what the doctor ordered.  The Animaniacs is one, if not, my favorite cartoon series ever, and history is just freaking awesome, so the combination of the two really works for me.  But to the average 8-14 year old kid?  There aren’t many ways to make history cool, fun, or exciting.  Unless you sing and joke about it.  Which is what they did.

The problem with this… much of history is grim, bloody, and violent, and this show didn’t gloss over things like war, racism, and genocide.  They just.. did cartoony things with it, which, in retrospect, gave some often uncomfortable results.  Here, in kind of no particular order, are 5 of the most uncomfortable Histeria moments on youtube.

Sammy Davis Jr. on Maury!

it’s days like this that i feel so ecstatic to not have a job.

aunt bunny’s money shot.

yall know what a money shot is.  right?  it’s the moment that makes all the time spent watching or looking at something worth it.  this can range from the seminal part of a movie to the semen-al part of a skin flick (see what i did there?).  concerning young ladies who take to the pole to work their way through vet school, it’s usually a cooch shot.

and this is what you saw if you tuned in to the season premier of I Know This Aspirin Really Ain’t Gon Kill My Ass Fantasia For Real on VH1.  at the top of the hour, Fantasia decides that it’s a great idea to put her Aunt Bunny (pictured at top) in a pair of booty shorts and take her to her pole dancing class with her.  and let me just get this out of the way:  yes, i absolutely want to take a pole dancing class now.  let me also say that aunt bunny had nothing to do with this decision.  it just looks so freaking fun.  and i can only imagine how sexy id feel after that!  prancin around in heels for an hour or however long??  pssh.  you wouldn’t be able to tell my that my vajayjay aint made of 73 karat gold once i left that class.  anyway.  i digress.

so they go to the class and it’s broads spinnin and flippin and spread eaglin’ every whicha way.  then the instructor shows Tasia and Aunt Bunny a move that consisted of sliding down the pole, puttin your hands on your knees and then bussin it open for the money shot. Tasia did decently i suppose.  here’s Aunt Bunny’s money shot.

…so if the money shot, theoretically, is what brings your paycheck in, we may assume that Aunt Bunny’s performance will bring her some form of the following wages:

• a $10 Walmart gift card
• $8.31 and a handful of peppermints from the bottom of Sis. Odell’s good Sunday purse
• a pack of Newports and a buy one get one free coupon for Tussy
• some Kiss toenail french tips and a copy of ‘Vampire in Brooklyn’ on VHS
• half a book of foodstamps
• a 6-pack of Tab

make that money, aunt bunny.  don’t let it make you.

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B.mc.P exclusive!: an interview with hair whippin’ Willow Smith

"tee hee! bring it, bitch!"

if you know your way around the Internets, then you’ve probably heard that Will Smith’s daughter, Willow, has been making music in between serving bitches with her mohawk game.  and speaking of her hair, and her music, choreography for her song ‘whip my hair’ hit the internets all up in the face this week.  when i saw how crazy my twitter timeline was going under the weight of it all, i knew that i HAD to get this story.  so after a lot of work and a few bribes, i managed to score a quick interview with Willow herself to get the inside scoop on the song and what’s next for her and her music career.

dear aretha franklin:

AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHAAHHAH!!!!!!!

Aretha Franklin: Halle Berry Should Portray Me In Film

dear Tyler Perry:

work your voodoo magic and make sure that this becomes the official poster for your adaptation of  ‘For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf.’

im already worried about how the adaptation is going to turn out.  at least give us something to look forward to and be hopeful for!

but really, this is an amazing piece of work infinitely talented young artist Tatyana Fazlalizdeh (reach her via twitter here), currently stationed in Philadelphia.  we’re trying to drum up enough internet  buzz for the right folks to see it, so please tweet it, blog it, tumblr it, digg it, facebook it, or whatever you young interweb whippersnappers do.

hurry up!  we’ve started without you!