Tag Archives: Fox News

Stephen Baldwin drives Obama support up 37%

NEW YORK, NY — Last night, “actor” Stephen Baldwin appeared on Just In,  hosted by Laura Ingraham on Fox News, and discussed the myriad of celebrities who have spoken out in support of likely democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama compared to the scant number that has voiced support for republican John McCain.  Baldwin, a McCain supporter, voiced his suspicions regarding the now chummy duo of Obama and Hillary Clinton, pointing out that they hated each other only months before. 

Toward the end of the interview, the conversation then switched to his brother Alec’s support, and then, reminiscent of Alec’s proclamation that he would leave the country if George Bush was re-elected in 2004, Stephen made a similar declaration, saying that he would leave the country if Barack Obama wins the presidency.

“If Barack gets nominated,” he said, “I’ll be moving out of the country, I just wanna say that now.  Now watch all the media have fun with that.”

We haven’t seen much of the media having fun with it, but the Obama camp is partying today, as statistics show that after Stephen’s announcement, support for Obama has shot up 37% thus far, and the figure continues to increase, according to Associated Press. 

“Sounds like a win-win to me,” said Arden Quade, a local resident.  “I was for Obama anyway, but this is just another reason to add to the list.”

“It’s like a ‘buy one, get one free’ sale,” commented Georgie Green, another New York citizen.  “Or like findin’ two prizes in your cereal box.  Or like when you go get a #1 at McDonald’s when you’re really, really hungry and you eat all your food, and at the end you’re full but you’d kinda want a little more just cause it tasted real good, and then you look in your bag and you find like 5 or 6 fries left and they’re still warm.  This is just like that!

And it isn’t just the east coast; support for Obama has increased overnight, literally, all over the nation, solely because of Stephen Baldwin’s promise.  Routine Radley, an 84-year old self proclaimed racist from South Backwoods, Tennessee, has changed her support from McCain to Obama.

“I wudn’t gon’ vote for Obammy cause I don’t like [expletive]s,” she said to us.  “I hate ’em.  I ain’t never liked ’em.  I hate them, and I hate [expletive]s and I hate [expletive]s, and I REALLY hate [expletive]s, tho I don’t hate nunna them like I hate [expletive]s. Now of course, Obammy’s a [expletive], but I tell you what, that Baldwin  boy makes my dentures itch.”

Obammy 08.

©The Impoverished Times

pic sources:  1 | 2

yo somebody gimmie an address to Fox News

from salon.com

remember when Dave Chappelle said in one of his specials or on his show or somethin that sometimes somebody says somethin so decidedly and explicitly racist that you cant say anything but:  damn… that was racist! 

i just had that reaction to this, which i found sitting in my email inbox this morning.  like.  i literally looked at my screen and said:  ‘that is some racist shit.’  very matter-of-factly.

yo i cant imagine what my response would be to that, either as Barack or Michelle.  it would probably be somewhere around ‘MOTHERFUCKER, THIS IS MY/I AM HIS WIFE, AINT NOT GOTDAMN BABY MAMAS AROUND HERE.’  and that would prolly be the best i could do.  lol

this is tantamount to somebody doin a news story on rush limbaugh’s doctor and instead referring to him as his drug pusher.  but let somebody do THAT shit, they’d be all up in arms about it, right? 

i wonder how all those devoted feminist Hillary supporters would respond/are responding to this story.  surely with outrage and offense, right?  cause feminists care about ALL women, right?  a woman who is honestly and truly concerned about the welfare of women everywhere would neeeeeever let something like, oh, i dont know.. political preference and/or bitterness keep her complicit in the face of such an offense against another woman, right?  and ain’t michelle obama a woman?  i hadnt really thought about this until recently, being more focused on her husband and his slugfest with the Clintons, but Michelle is gonna have a REALLY hard road to travel in the political world.  if any woman needs the support of other women right now, it’s her.  actually, id like to write a quick letter to Michelle:

Dear Michelle –

Hey girl!  What’s up! Not much here, just tryin to make it as a double minority in this messed up world.  Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that I know I’ve been hatin on you for awhile and have felt some kinda way about you marrying and sleeping with and feelin all on my man, but we can fight in the streets over him later.  Right now, you need some help fightin big ol scary discriminatory institutions.  I’m focused!

Love,

me.

ps – we will most DEFINITELY fight over him later, though.

anyway.  i guess you could chalk this whole thing up to the whitefolks at fox news just not knowing what the phrase means and ‘misusing’ it.  but fuck that!  this was a racist AND sexist attack from a racist AND sexist news station.  they knew what they were doin.

bastards.

so yeah, find me an address to send some angry letters.  they keep makin it very hard for me to stick to talkin about fake hair and fake boobs in this blog i and i aint takin it no more!!!