Tag Archives: Michelle Obama

Dear Mr. President:

you really need to stop doing this to me.

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what would jesus wear?

so designers everywhere are clamoring to get michelle’s bits and pieces into their designs for her boo’s inauguration.  i just took a look at some of the sketches and she’s got some great choices!  unfortunately, she has some sucky ones too.

these caught my eye, for better or for worse:

 

 

 

Monique Lhullier.  i really like this one because i think michelle’s skin tone carries red really, really well, and she’s got like 1800 miles of legs to rock that dress with.  perfect for the length and flourish of the dress.  go nique!

 

 

 

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wtf, philly metro. + way to go, j. andrew!

i meant to write to the metro (one of philly’s free newspapers) abt this, but i got sidetracked and then i just plum forgot. 

philly metro has gotten into this thing lately where they attempt to be funny and witty in their discussion of politics and the presidential race, right.  they sort of suck at it.  i love the metro, dont get me wrong but.. they just need funnier writers (IF YALL ARE READIN, GET AT ME).  in monday’s edition, someone wrote a segment called ‘5 things that can win it for mccain or obama.’   according to their list, the number 3 thing that john mccain can do, and i quote directly:

Get Michelle Obama to look as angry as you do.  People don’t like you because of your attitude?  Have you seen this woman?  She’s ready to go ghetto on someone’s ass.

now, im an asshole.  i appreciate the assholishness of others so long as it stops short of ignorance.  im not mad that they talkin abt Michelle lookin angry.  everybody looks angry sometimes!  but (can you guess what im finna say here?)…

WHY SHE GOTTA BE READY TO GO GHETTO THO??  i mean honestly!  if she was white she wldnt be no kindsa ghetto.  but naw, michelle’s bout to go ghetto.  sigh.  graduating from princeton and harvard, becoming a lawyer, and being poised to move into the white house apparently still aint enough for some folks to separate blackness and ghettoness.  lame move, metro.  someone with a better grasp of comedy and comedic writing wldnt have to take such a lazy leap tryin to get some laughs.  TWO DEMERITS FOR YOU.

monday’s metro saving grace came on the following page though, but not from its own writers; a one J. Andrew Smith of Bloomfield, NJ, sent in a letter to the paper, and i thought what he said makes a great quote so i wanted to share it:

Setting the record straight on Obama.  Let the record state:  Obama is 50% white, 50% black, 100% American, 100% Christian, 0% Muslim and 0% terrorist.  He represents a 100% change from Bush, not McCain’s 10%, and although less than 100% of Republicans are racists, 100% of racists vote Republican.

heh!  shut em down, J!

yo somebody gimmie an address to Fox News

from salon.com

remember when Dave Chappelle said in one of his specials or on his show or somethin that sometimes somebody says somethin so decidedly and explicitly racist that you cant say anything but:  damn… that was racist! 

i just had that reaction to this, which i found sitting in my email inbox this morning.  like.  i literally looked at my screen and said:  ‘that is some racist shit.’  very matter-of-factly.

yo i cant imagine what my response would be to that, either as Barack or Michelle.  it would probably be somewhere around ‘MOTHERFUCKER, THIS IS MY/I AM HIS WIFE, AINT NOT GOTDAMN BABY MAMAS AROUND HERE.’  and that would prolly be the best i could do.  lol

this is tantamount to somebody doin a news story on rush limbaugh’s doctor and instead referring to him as his drug pusher.  but let somebody do THAT shit, they’d be all up in arms about it, right? 

i wonder how all those devoted feminist Hillary supporters would respond/are responding to this story.  surely with outrage and offense, right?  cause feminists care about ALL women, right?  a woman who is honestly and truly concerned about the welfare of women everywhere would neeeeeever let something like, oh, i dont know.. political preference and/or bitterness keep her complicit in the face of such an offense against another woman, right?  and ain’t michelle obama a woman?  i hadnt really thought about this until recently, being more focused on her husband and his slugfest with the Clintons, but Michelle is gonna have a REALLY hard road to travel in the political world.  if any woman needs the support of other women right now, it’s her.  actually, id like to write a quick letter to Michelle:

Dear Michelle –

Hey girl!  What’s up! Not much here, just tryin to make it as a double minority in this messed up world.  Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that I know I’ve been hatin on you for awhile and have felt some kinda way about you marrying and sleeping with and feelin all on my man, but we can fight in the streets over him later.  Right now, you need some help fightin big ol scary discriminatory institutions.  I’m focused!

Love,

me.

ps – we will most DEFINITELY fight over him later, though.

anyway.  i guess you could chalk this whole thing up to the whitefolks at fox news just not knowing what the phrase means and ‘misusing’ it.  but fuck that!  this was a racist AND sexist attack from a racist AND sexist news station.  they knew what they were doin.

bastards.

so yeah, find me an address to send some angry letters.  they keep makin it very hard for me to stick to talkin about fake hair and fake boobs in this blog i and i aint takin it no more!!!

michelle obama to the clintons: ‘stfu, hax!’

i dunno how old this is, and tactic wise, i dont know how much of this is new.  and when it comes to politics, i dont know nothin bout nothin.  but even i know that hilary and bill been on some othershit with the mudslingin lately.  like, for real.  let ME be obama’s wife.  i’d be ready to see either one of them clintons in a dark alley over them talkin wreckless about my man.  i never even considered how his *real* wife (i’m hatin, btw) feels abt it and what she’s said, if anything at all.

today though, i run across this.  now i admit, my personal feelings for Obama have kept me from liking or even considering his wife at all.  it kinda kills my lusting for him, you know?  but, i have to say that her response was well put together and professional while retaining a bit of bite and venom, and i respect that.  i bet i know what she really wanted to say though.  allow me to translate:

“In the past week or two, another candidate’s spouse has been getting an awful lot of attention. ”  – translation:  “Oh I’m sorry, Bill, I didn’t know YO punk ass was runnin for president again.  What’s that?  You’re not?  Oh.  …stfu then.”

“We knew getting into this race that Barack would be competing … with Senator Clinton and President Clinton at the same time.” – translation:  “You owe her after creepin up in somebody else’s sheets.  We understand that, homie.”

“We expected that Bill Clinton would tout his record from the nineties and talk about Hillary’s role in his past success. That’s a fair approach and a challenge we are prepared to face. ” –  translation:  “True, yall did what yall did and everything, and it was cool and all, I’m not hatin on that.”

“What we didn’t expect, at least not from our fellow Democrats, are the win-at-all-costs tactics we’ve seen recently. We didn’t expect misleading accusations that willfully distort Barack’s record.”  – translation:  “Yall muhfkers is DIRTY.  If yall want a fight, you goin after the wrong person, COME SEE ME.”

“Barack Obama isn’t relying on a former president of the United States to campaign for him.” – translation:  “Hillary Clinton is relying on a former president of the United States to campaign for her.  …Bitch.”

“He’s relying on us — you, me, and hundreds of thousands of people like us who are giving whatever they can afford to support this movement.  Please stand up in the face of these new attacks. Make your first online donation of $50 today and own a piece of this campaign …” – translation:  “The doors of the church are open.  We’ll start the collection plate at the left side of the sanctuary.”

now once again.  i do NOT think hillary clinton is a bitch at all.  i actually respect her a great deal.  but all i know is if *i* was married to Obama and she & her dude get to talkin like they have been?  all bets are off.  it’s go time.

i guess that’s why im not married to Obama.

sigh.  pour me another drink.