yall know what a money shot is. right? it’s the moment that makes all the time spent watching or looking at something worth it. this can range from the seminal part of a movie to the semen-al part of a skin flick (see what i did there?). concerning young ladies who take to the pole to work their way through vet school, it’s usually a cooch shot.
and this is what you saw if you tuned in to the season premier of I Know This Aspirin Really Ain’t Gon Kill My Ass Fantasia For Real on VH1. at the top of the hour, Fantasia decides that it’s a great idea to put her Aunt Bunny (pictured at top) in a pair of booty shorts and take her to her pole dancing class with her. and let me just get this out of the way: yes, i absolutely want to take a pole dancing class now. let me also say that aunt bunny had nothing to do with this decision. it just looks so freaking fun. and i can only imagine how sexy id feel after that! prancin around in heels for an hour or however long?? pssh. you wouldn’t be able to tell my that my vajayjay aint made of 73 karat gold once i left that class. anyway. i digress.
so they go to the class and it’s broads spinnin and flippin and spread eaglin’ every whicha way. then the instructor shows Tasia and Aunt Bunny a move that consisted of sliding down the pole, puttin your hands on your knees and then bussin it open for the money shot. Tasia did decently i suppose. here’s Aunt Bunny’s money shot.
…so if the money shot, theoretically, is what brings your paycheck in, we may assume that Aunt Bunny’s performance will bring her some form of the following wages:
- a $10 Walmart gift card
- $8.31 and a handful of peppermints from the bottom of Sis. Odell’s good Sunday purse
- a pack of Newports and a buy one get one free coupon for Tussy
- some Kiss toenail french tips and a copy of ‘Vampire in Brooklyn’ on VHS
- half a book of foodstamps
- a 6-pack of Tab
make that money, aunt bunny. don’t let it make you.
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are you here for the love of black history month?
welcome to what will hopefully be the first of a series of exclusive interviews with some of the most prominent and influential black personalities in our community in honor of black history month. for our first installment, i had the opportunity to sit down with “musician” and reality tv “star” Brandy’s Brother Ray J over a couple of fried bologna sammiches. i wanted to discuss a few specific things: how he feels about the current state of black America, what he thinks about the job that fine ass President Obama has done so far, and what he plans to do with semi-lame ass Mz Berry, “winner” of For the Love of Brandy’s Brother Ray J season 2.
Caliente from ‘For the Love of Wait a Minute Ain’t That Brandy’s Brother’ looks like Molly Shannon.
its the mouth and nose. and also the cartoonish ridiculousness that, in Molly Shannon, is purposeful. in Caliente… not so much.
so this year’s ‘dancing with the stars’ lineup was announced and i kinda scratched my head at it. i dont really watch the show, but i know enough about it to think that there may be something a little fishy about mya being in this season’s cast.
the girl’s a professional dancer! right?? that’s her thing. is that fair to the other contestants, who include a snowboarder, a huge champion mma fighter, a teenage witch and a pair of teeth with legs? hardly seems fair, no? they dont mention mya’s training as a dancer on their page. conspiracy? cahoots? it makes one scratch the chin!
everybody seems to be more surprised by former house majority leader tom delay‘s inclusion in the cast, but let me tell you what. he just may be the one to watch for, because david gregory showed us all on the Today show that fuddy duddies in starched suits can get DOWN with they bad selfs! matter fact, they should have put *him* in the cast. id watch every show, faithfully.
okay. so since i love you guys, i decided long ago that i would watch all the mind-numbing, IQ-killing trashy reality tv so that you won’t have to, thus saving your precious brain cells. as far as real housewives of ATL goes, this is working out well for me–i LOVE this damn show!!! oh man. its full of ridiculousness. its like a buffet of ignorance and i just can’t get a plate full enough.
as for real chance of love… im struggling there so far. i thought about trying to watch megan wants a millionaire, but i have to think about myself a little bit. that’s a little too much like self-harm.
yeah. this is another bad girls club entry.
so, i just caught this week’s episode last night. spoiler: kayla is gone. and this, in my opinion, is potentially one of the most shameful exits ive witnessed in reality tv-dom.
at the top of the episode, the girls participate in some challenge where they walk the streets in lingerie and see who can get the shop the most customers or something. i didnt see all of that part. i did see that amber m. won, and kayla made this face, signifying that she was upset abt that. so amber m. gets money, everybody else gets nothing. whatever tho, it’s seemingly forgotten.
later they take a self-defense class. they all effectively whoop the holy loving shitfire out of the instructor. all except for kayla, who seems really timid and insecure and barely even touched the guy. (take notes, kiddies; there’s a pop quiz later).
two episodes into the new season of ‘the bad girls club’ and im making this face:
i mean its not that its boring. it’s got the makings of good soap opera fodder. its just not tanisha running around bangin pots & pans & imploring everybody to pop off, or nasty ass whats-her-face pissing in sinks and juice cartons. lol. i wldnt call the new chicks ‘bad’ necessarily. or maybe its just that i wldnt call them ‘bad’ compared to the girls from last season. this season’s group is… annoying. really annoying. they yell and scream and cry over nothing all the damn time. ugh.
i wonder if its maybe because the girls seem so much younger this season than last? i mean all of them look and act like they’re in their early 20s, and that’s what girls in their early 20s (typically & stereotypically) do. yell, cry, scream, and cry. i dont know how old tanesha nem were, but they seemed older, and one of the chicks from the season before, in my opinion, was pushin her late 30s & lyin about it. lol.
i dunno. so far its corny compared to last season. but i think anything would be after all those shenanigans.
im gonna watch anyway though 😦 lol
a quick rundown of this season’s brats: