Tag Archives: Sarah Palin

LMAO! wily canadians prank not-so-wily sarah palin

lol.  anyone who knows me knows that im allergic to canadians, but id risk itchy red welts to hug these guys.  hilarious!  the link in the article posted below didnt work to me, so i’m including youtube audio too.

lol.  WHO IS SCREENING HER CALLS??!

Prank Caller Targets Sarah Palin

By CHARMAINE NORONHA

TORONTO (Nov. 1) – Sarah Palin unwittingly took a prank call Saturday from a Canadian comedian posing as French President Nicolas Sarkozy and telling her she would make a good president someday.
“Maybe in eight years,” replies a laughing Palin.
Political Machine: Hear the Prank Call Audio
The Republican vice presidential nominee discusses politics, the perils of hunting with Vice President Dick Cheney, and Sarkozy’s “beautiful wife,” in a recording of the six-minute call released Saturday and set to air Monday on a Quebec radio station.
Palin campaign spokeswoman Tracey Schmitt confirmed she had received the prank call.
“Governor Palin was mildly amused to learn that she had joined the ranks of heads of state, including President Sarkozy and other celebrities, in being targeted by these pranksters. C’est la vie,” she said.
The call was made by a well-known Montreal comedy duo Marc-Antoine Audette and Sebastien Trudel. Known as the Masked Avengers, the two are notorious for prank calls to celebrities and heads of state.
Audette, posing as Sarkozy, speaks in an exaggerated French accent and drops ample hints that the conversation is a joke. But Palin seemingly does not pick up on them.
He tells Palin one of his favorite pastimes is hunting, also a passion of the 44-year-old Alaska governor.
“I just love killing those animals. Mmm, mmm, take away life, that is so fun,” the fake Sarkozy says.
He proposes they go hunting together by helicopter, something he says he has never done.
“Well, I think we could have a lot of fun together while we’re getting work done,” Palin counters. “We can kill two birds with one stone that way.”
The comedian jokes that they shouldn’t bring Cheney along on the hunt, referring to the 2006 incident in which the vice-president shot and injured a friend while hunting quail.
“I’ll be a careful shot,” responds Palin.
Playing off the governor’s much-mocked comment in an early television interview that she had insights into

sacre bleu! ze sarah palin, she iz eh, how you say, dumb as ze box of panties!  hawhawhawhawhaw!!

sacre bleu! ze sarah palin, she iz eh, how you say, eh, dumb as a box of panties! hawhawhawhawhaw!!

foreign policy because “you can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska,” the caller tells her: “You know we have a lot in common also, because … from my house I can see Belgium.”

She replies: “Well, see, we’re right next door to different countries that we all need to be working with, yes.”
When Audette refers to Canadian singer Steph Carse as Canada’s prime minister, Palin replies: “Well, he’s doing fine and yeah, when you come into a position underestimated it gives you an opportunity to prove the pundits and the critics wrong. You work that much harder.” Canada’s prime minister is Stephen Harper.
Palin praises Sarkozy throughout the call and also mentions his wife Carla Bruni, a model-turned-songwriter.
“You know, I look forward to working with you and getting to meet you personally and your beautiful wife,” Palin says. “Oh my goodness, you’ve added a lot of energy to your country with that beautiful family of yours.”
The Sarkozy impersonator tells Palin his wife is “so hot in bed” and then informs her that Bruni has written a song for her about Joe the Plumber entitled “De rouge a levre sur un cochon” — which translates as “Lipstick on a Pig.”
Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama derided his Republican challenger John McCain’s call for change in Washington as “lipstick on a pig,” days after Palin made a lipstick joke at the Republican convention. The McCain-Palin campaign then released an ad implying Obama was calling Palin a pig with that remark.
The caller asks Palin if Joe the Plumber is her husband and adds: “We have the equivalent of Joe the Plumber in France. It’s called Marcel, the guy with bread under his armpit.”
He also tells the Alaska governor that he loved the “documentary” made about her and referred to a pornographic film with a Palin look-alike made by Hustler founder Larry Flynt.
She answers tentatively, “Ohh, good, thank you, yes.”
The callers then reveal the prank and identify themselves and their radio station.
“Ohhh, have we been pranked?” Palin asks. “And what radio station is this?”
Obama’s campaign spokesman Robert Gibbs, commenting on the prank, said: “I’m glad we check out our calls before we hand the phone to Barack Obama.”
Copyright 2008 The Associated Press. The information contained in the AP news report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or otherwise distributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press. Active hyperlinks have been inserted by AOL.
2008-11-01 22:17:40
| 1 | 2 |

sarah palin on SNL

so sarah palin made her much anticipated appearance on SNL this weekend and amy poeler COMPLETELY STOLE HER THUNDER.

overall, palin just didnt say much (what else is new).  she did alright tho.  the opening skit was cool, and in her second on stage appearance i noticed her long enough to peep her side-to-side bop & note that she could possibly rank among the best dancers in politics–better than obama, but not at all touching david gregory (he talks abt politicians, so he counts).

but man o man.  amy poeler shut it down with the rap that they all preteneded that sarah palin was going to do.  amy got her 23-months pregnant ass up there and went to TOWN, you hear me??  and then she wu-tanged it up at the end.  *kisses fingers and spreads em in the sky like Franch people do*

lyrics are here.  video is here.
& the way todd points to the map kills me every time.  lol!

AMY FOR VP!!

one of the worst cases of child abuse ive heard of in awhile.

thanks (i guess?) to dre for this.

 

New dad names daughter Sarah McCain Palin

ELIZABETHTON, Tenn. — A new father has secretly named his baby girl Sarah McCain Palin after the Republican ticket for president and vice president.

Mark Ciptak of Elizabethton put that name on the documents for the girl’s birth certificate, ignoring the name Ava Grace, which he and his wife had picked earlier.

“I don’t think she believes me yet,” he told the Kingsport Times-News for a story to be published Tuesday. “It’s going to take some more convincing.”

Ciptak, a blood bank employee for the American Red Cross, said he named his third child after John McCain and Sarah Palin to “to get the word out” about the campaign.

“I took one for the cause,” he said. “I can’t give a lot of financial support for the (McCain/Palin) campaign. I do have a sign up in my yard, but I can do very little.”

 

….seriously, id divorce his ass for this, take him to the cleaners, and donate all the loot to Barack*.  what a doosh.

 

*im lyin, i’d buy a jacuzzi.

 |src|

flowchart of the day

courtesy of adennak.com

im not saying that google makes a good presidential nom.

although, i think its true that maybe, juuuuuuust maybe, the more involved, active, and socially/politically important you are in life, the more likely you are to have multiple sites & links popup when you google your name.

take me for instance.  i haven’t done much of shit in life, so when you google me, you get nothing.  except for a playwriting contest that i won back in louisville when i was 17.

anyway, with that in mind, i decided to google barack “i look fucking amazing in a suit” obama and sarah “i can kill a moose with a flute” palin to see what they were up to in 2001 using this neat little site.  it allows you to search google as if it were January 2001.

put in barack obama and this is what you get (click to enlarge):

 

stuff about him bein in politics.  awards received for community action and whatnot.  not as much as you’d find today, of course, because this was 7 years ago.  but, definitely seems to be active in the political world.

now.  since her experience is often compared and equated with that of obama’s, let’s take a look at what palin’s political life was like in 2001, shall we?  google her and we get:

…the google equivalent of tumbleweeds.

i even did another search and put quotes around her name to make it a more direct search.  that REALLY didn’t go well.

i mean, im just playin.

…but im sayin.

yoooooooooooooo

wooooooooooooow (c) flavor “raisin covered in bacon grease” flav

McCain attempts to wow voters with Vegas-style magic show

August 29, 2008–New York, N.Y.:  Republican presidential hopeful and likely nominee John McCain surprised his supporters–and more importantly, his potential supporters–with a treat early this morning:  a magic show that no one was expecting (okay, some probably saw it coming), organized by the McCain camp.

“We wanted it to be a real treat,” said a spokesman for the campaign.  “Though it was by invitation only, it was planned with everyone in mind, all those already on the McCain train, those thinking of boarding, and those waiting at Obama Central Station, looking over their shoulder here at us.  It’s not too late to get your money back, guys!”  When questioned about where on earth the spokesman got that horrid metaphor, he refused to comment.

The show began at around 9:00 am EST in a brightly colored auditorium decorated, oddly enough, with daisies, pink streamers, and framed covers of Cosmo magazine.  The show was invitation only, and each seat was suspiciously filled with women, 89% of whom were clad in Keds and Mom Jeans.  McCain took to the stage, a regular Dapper Dan in tails and a top hat, and thanked everyone for attending.

“Good evening!” he said, struggling to put some life behind his patented and trademarked dead-behind-the-eyes gaze.  “I hope you’ll all enjoy the show.  There are refreshments about, as I understand, we’ve got some bon bons, uh, and some cakes and things that you all might like, and if anyone gets crampy, we’ve got some Midol and hot water bottles too.  Now, I’d like to introduce to you all, my beautiful, lovely assistant.. the Great Palini!”

From behind a red velvet curtain emerged a feminine beauty, also in tails and a top hat, but with high heels and fish nets to boot.  She twirled twice and then took McCain’s hands at he continued.

“She’s truly amazing, folks!  If you think I’m a magician, wait til you get a load of her!  She can do it all, ladies and gentle… ladies, she can bend steel with her mind!  She can make doves appear out of thin air!  She manages to govern the entire state of Alaska and be a fantastic mom, all while never missing a single episode of Oprah!”  Some in the crowd chuckled; others sent out impressive ‘oooh,’s while others muttered, “What in the damn hell?” 

“And now, ladies and.. ladies, I will attempt a truly impressive feat.  Before your very eyes, I shall transform the Great Palini from simple governor and hockey mom to… Sarah Palin, Vice President of the United States!”  Here, a puff of smoke errupted at Palin’s feet, and when it cleared, she was clad in a blue skirted business suit and (for some reason) holding a tray of cookies one hand, and a baby in the other.  The crowd gasped.

While one half of the room rewarded McCain with thunderous applause, the others prepared for the question and answer/meet and greet session to follow the show.

“Um, yeah, I have a question,” said Noreen McDonald of Springfield, IL., “who is this woman?”

The Great Palini, aka Sarah Palin, solidifies her womanness by appearing on the cover of Vogue, 2007.

“She’s a very, very talented individual with a sharp wit and, as you can see, very perky breasts.  Womanly breasts.  Next question, please!”

“Yes, but… who is she?  What does she do?  What are her qualifications?”

“She’s a governor!” McCain chirped cheerfully.  “She’s the governor of our great state of Alaska, which I assure you is no easy feat; it’s the largest state in our nation, so I’m sure that equals a lot of work, and she’s done a great job!”

“Yeah,” said Michelle Greenwood of Kansas City, MO, “but really.. how hard can governing a bunch of snow and ice and seals be?”

The crowd chuckled but McCain’s pasty countenance began to moisten and melt, and it became clear to the crowd that he was perspiring beneath the heat of the crowd’s interrogation.

“I, uh, I’d be happy to answer that for you, but there’s.. there’s a little something distracting me.  What’s this?”  McCain walked over to the woman and reached for the left side of her face.  “Well, would you look at that!  Somebody left a shiny new quarter in there!  Here you go, pretty lady!” 

“Oh, this is bullshit!” the woman retorted.  “This is an insult!  You parade some nobody of a woman out here and expect us to fall in line?  You think that’s all we want?  A vagina in the white house?!”

“Alright, Sarah, time to pull out the big guns,” McCain said to his new running mate before turning to the crowd:  “Ladies I assure you that I have the answer to all your questions, and more.  I think what you’re looking for is riiiiight over… here!”  In a fluid motion impressive for a 98 year old man, McCain threw a small ball to his left and the stage exploded in red smoke.  From the smoke emerged 300 can-can dancers, followed by a parade of flaming clowns on unicycles, and contortionists riding on the backs of elephants spelling out the word “MAVERICK” with their bodies.

Disgusted, Michelle Greenwood stood and walked out.  No word yet on how many women were smart enough to do the same.

© The Impoverished Times

1 | 2