Tag Archives: smokey robinson

who knew the letter “U” was so… rapey?

HALP!!

HALP!!

smokey robinson did!

if you’re old enough to be annoyed by hipsters, you’re old enough to remember and fully appreciate classic sesame street.  if this is you, then you should remember smokie robinson performing “you really got a hold on me,” as he taught little children the dangers of getting involved with fatal attraction-ass vowels.

this has always been one of my favorite sesame street memories, but you know what?  looking back… this is really creepy.  this U has some therapy-grade attachment issues and poor smokey should really stfu with all the singin & make friends with 911.  this is a PROBLEM!  he’s being stalked!  relentlessly!  i mean, let’s walk through the different levels of disturbing, shall we?

0:35 – the first official unwanted physical contact

0:57 – just to clear the air and banish any possibility that this cld simply be a ‘no means yes’ situation, smokey tells everybody plainly, “bein grabbed by a letter is unappealin.”  translation:  “these are all bad touches.”

1:10 – smokey literally & physically has to guard his crotch against the looming invasion of his no-no spot.

1:23 – yo, this thing really wants smokey’s balls.

1:48 – assault.

1:54 – battery.

2:26 – OMG KIDNAPPING WTF

2:38 – full out, unabashed, unashamed, hardcore, full pursuit, “if i cant have you, nobody can” style stalking

3:06 – i guess smokey decides it’s cheaper–and more beneficial to his health–to keep her.

so.  how do you feel now that this little gem of your childhood has been soiled and dirtied?  a little dead inside?  i know the feeling well.