NEW YORK, NY — Last night, “actor” Stephen Baldwin appeared on Just In, hosted by Laura Ingraham on Fox News, and discussed the myriad of celebrities who have spoken out in support of likely democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama compared to the scant number that has voiced support for republican John McCain. Baldwin, a McCain supporter, voiced his suspicions regarding the now chummy duo of Obama and Hillary Clinton, pointing out that they hated each other only months before.
Toward the end of the interview, the conversation then switched to his brother Alec’s support, and then, reminiscent of Alec’s proclamation that he would leave the country if George Bush was re-elected in 2004, Stephen made a similar declaration, saying that he would leave the country if Barack Obama wins the presidency.
“If Barack gets nominated,” he said, “I’ll be moving out of the country, I just wanna say that now. Now watch all the media have fun with that.”
We haven’t seen much of the media having fun with it, but the Obama camp is partying today, as statistics show that after Stephen’s announcement, support for Obama has shot up 37% thus far, and the figure continues to increase, according to Associated Press.
“Sounds like a win-win to me,” said Arden Quade, a local resident. “I was for Obama anyway, but this is just another reason to add to the list.”
“It’s like a ‘buy one, get one free’ sale,” commented Georgie Green, another New York citizen. “Or like findin’ two prizes in your cereal box. Or like when you go get a #1 at McDonald’s when you’re really, really hungry and you eat all your food, and at the end you’re full but you’d kinda want a little more just cause it tasted real good, and then you look in your bag and you find like 5 or 6 fries left and they’re still warm. This is just like that!”
And it isn’t just the east coast; support for Obama has increased overnight, literally, all over the nation, solely because of Stephen Baldwin’s promise. Routine Radley, an 84-year old self proclaimed racist from South Backwoods, Tennessee, has changed her support from McCain to Obama.
“I wudn’t gon’ vote for Obammy cause I don’t like [expletive]s,” she said to us. “I hate ’em. I ain’t never liked ’em. I hate them, and I hate [expletive]s and I hate [expletive]s, and I REALLY hate [expletive]s, tho I don’t hate nunna them like I hate [expletive]s. Now of course, Obammy’s a [expletive], but I tell you what, that Baldwin boy makes my dentures itch.”
©The Impoverished Times