…surely this can’t get any worse. right?
(found via this lovely lady’s flickr)
…surely this can’t get any worse. right?
(found via this lovely lady’s flickr)
sorry for the lag in updates lately 😦 im not being a wishy-washy jerk this time, i promise. updates will be scarce this month because i’m participating in National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo), which is really, really cool. if you’ve never heard of it before, or have heard of it and just didn’t know what it is, it’s a program/organization/what have you that helps you write a 50,000 word first draft of a novel in 30 days, over the entire month of november. that involves writing at LEAST 1,667 words each and every day. after doing that, the last thing i want to do most times is hop on the interwebs and write about weaves and bad mullets and shit. nothing personal though
i did NaNoWriMo in 2005 (i think?) too, so in approx. 24 days, i will have not one, but two shitty novels catching dust in my bedroom. joy! THEN i’ll be able to stop being grossly negligent here. there will be sporadic entries, probably, but bigguns like ridiculous moments in r&b pt. 2 prolly won’t come til december 😦
as a peace offering, i offer you this: i short youtube video entitled “NFL Booty Poppin.” i don’t know about you but this made me extremely happy somehow.
forgive me?? k thanks!!
more shameful national press for Louisville! yay!
OCTOBER 8–A Kentucky principal last month screened school surveillance footage showing two teenagers having sex in the lunchroom and provided lurid play-by-play commentary as fellow educators watched the video in his office. In the wake of a probe of his bizarre behavior, Dave Wilson retired last week as head of Louisville Male High School. According to the below redacted witness reports released by Jefferson County Public Schools officials, on September 3 Wilson summoned several co-workers to his office. They arrived to find a darkened room with five chairs pointed toward a large white screen. Using a projector connected to his laptop, Wilson, pictured at right, screened a ten-minute video showing the teens having sex the prior afternoon. “Hey, baby, why don’t you come over here and grab my pencil,” and “It won’t take me long, I am like the minute man,” were two of Wilson’s comments as the video played, according to witnesses. While the pantsless girl, an 11th grade student, sat in the boy’s lap, Wilson slowed the video down and remarked that the group could watch it in slow motion or he could speed the clip up and “make him go even faster.” At the video’s conclusion, Wilson could be seen approaching the teens. One witness reported that “Wilson and others” had been watching the students in real time, and when they “were finished having sex,” Wilson entered the cafeteria to “run the students out of the building.” The school district’s probe of Wilson also turned up allegations that he showed up to school events intoxicated and made inappropriate comments to students and staff. In a September 29 letter, Wilson announced his retirement, effective after he had used up his remaining vacation and personal days. (6 pages)
oh and also, this teacher? also from Louisville. i love my city!
holy balls!! i cant even remember what delicious path of light and luck i was travelling down when i stumbled upon this gem but, omg. this shit is marvelous for several reasons, which i shall detail to you right here and right now.
1. the title. this book is called BIRTH CONTROL IS SINFUL IN THE CHRISTIAN MARRIAGES and also ROBBING GOD OF PRIESTHOOD CHILDREN!! just like that. all capital letters. think im lyin? look up there at the book cover.
2. the cover. between everything being written in capital letters, and my girl’s hair and outfit, its safe to say that the only thing that can make this cover any better is ninjas and unicorns. also, i dont know if u can see it, but beneath that lovely picture is a little by-line that gives u a hint to the goodness to be had once you compose yourself enough to get past the brilliance of the cover and actually open the book: MANY FALSE CHRIST MARRIAGES ARE LIVING ON BIRTH CONTROL AND NOW LEADING THE AMERICAN CHURCH WEALTH! o shit! u see that exclamation point? its about to get real!
oh also i should point this out… dont let the early 90s bumper curl fool you. this book was published in 2008.
3. the entire book is written in capital letters. i shit you not. look at this screenshot:
hi, all! happy monday to you!
so you know the big fantastic Great Big Gotdamn Black History Month Extravaganza i’ve been creamin my pantydraws about? well, id like to quickly thank Supervalu grocery store in Delaware for sponsoring the festivities. they’re currently having an amazing sale in honor of black history month, so stop on by and partake! they have specials on everything a black person needs: cornbread, grape soda pop, glory greens, hot sauce, seasoning salts, jiffy corn muffin mix, aaaaaaaand the crowning glory: obama memorability.
yassuh, you gots everthang yall gon need fo yo black histruh momf party! git enuff fuh you, yo semn-lemn kids, AND they baby daddies!
why do i have a sudden urge to get up and do the electric slide? 😦
so. i lifted these from listoftheday.
here’s michael jackson some days ago out in public wearing a zorro mask for reasons that i’m sure have even sweet baby jesus mystified. and now, here’s michael getting into his ride:
is… is that… is that a collage of naked babies sticking out of that bag?
remember when Dave Chappelle said in one of his specials or on his show or somethin that sometimes somebody says somethin so decidedly and explicitly racist that you cant say anything but: damn… that was racist!
i just had that reaction to this, which i found sitting in my email inbox this morning. like. i literally looked at my screen and said: ‘that is some racist shit.’ very matter-of-factly.
yo i cant imagine what my response would be to that, either as Barack or Michelle. it would probably be somewhere around ‘MOTHERFUCKER, THIS IS MY/I AM HIS WIFE, AINT NOT GOTDAMN BABY MAMAS AROUND HERE.’ and that would prolly be the best i could do. lol
this is tantamount to somebody doin a news story on rush limbaugh’s doctor and instead referring to him as his drug pusher. but let somebody do THAT shit, they’d be all up in arms about it, right?
i wonder how all those devoted feminist Hillary supporters would respond/are responding to this story. surely with outrage and offense, right? cause feminists care about ALL women, right? a woman who is honestly and truly concerned about the welfare of women everywhere would neeeeeever let something like, oh, i dont know.. political preference and/or bitterness keep her complicit in the face of such an offense against another woman, right? and ain’t michelle obama a woman? i hadnt really thought about this until recently, being more focused on her husband and his slugfest with the Clintons, but Michelle is gonna have a REALLY hard road to travel in the political world. if any woman needs the support of other women right now, it’s her. actually, id like to write a quick letter to Michelle:
Dear Michelle –
Hey girl! What’s up! Not much here, just tryin to make it as a double minority in this messed up world. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that I know I’ve been hatin on you for awhile and have felt some kinda way about you marrying and sleeping with and feelin all on my man, but we can fight in the streets over him later. Right now, you need some help fightin big ol scary discriminatory institutions. I’m focused!
ps – we will most DEFINITELY fight over him later, though.
anyway. i guess you could chalk this whole thing up to the whitefolks at fox news just not knowing what the phrase means and ‘misusing’ it. but fuck that! this was a racist AND sexist attack from a racist AND sexist news station. they knew what they were doin.
so yeah, find me an address to send some angry letters. they keep makin it very hard for me to stick to talkin about fake hair and fake boobs in this blog i and i aint takin it no more!!!
but hotdamnit.. THIS IS NOT THE WAY TO DO IT
join me in thinking of better things he could have done with the money he spent on his eye, shall we?
-a really, really big gift certificate to Cracker Barrell
-a shitload of various & sundry meat and cheese trays
-drugs, booze, or other self-medicating materials to dull the pain of having lost that eye in the first place
-the ‘hell date’ midgets
-many t-shirts that say ‘I MAY HAVE LOST MY EYE BUT I AM STILL A MAN AND I DONT HAVE TO BUY A 100K DIAMOND EYE TO PROVE IT’
-an actor to pretend to be his father to give him all the hugs his real dad never did as a child
-lots & lots of disease-free whores
-even more potentially diseased whores (the fun part is not knowing what they have!)
-the masters to all of Disco Rick’s songs
things that will unfortunately not appear on this list: validation, common sense, a functioning eye, rhyming ability.
im filing this one under ‘kill yourself expeditiously.’