hair stuff!’s Curlarita: a review

(note:  this will be a very long post about natural hair products.  if you have no interest, or are a bit ADD, or are baldheaded, or are rocking a house of dereon lacefront (not hatin, just sayin), you may wanna abandon ship.)

since this blog isn’t about me, i haven’t said much about my holidays.  they were great.  i ate a lot of food, hugged lots of folks, did a lot of badly needed cleaning, and got some great gifts.  one of those gifts was, like, the greatest gift i’ve ever gotten given my current obsession with hair products after going natural almost two years ago  (i suck at this hair typing thing, but i’ve decided that my hair is at least closest to 3C, for the record).

one of my favorite websites to e-window shop is Curl Mart at  jokingly, i sent the wishlist  made there to a couple of people.  on that wishlist was a couple of things i needed, like a new bottle of DevaCurl’s No-Poo and a Denman brush since i lost mine while ago.  also on the list:  NC’s hyper expensive Curlarita, a product kit tailored for 3C hair (they make these kits, called curly cocktails, for all hair types).  it’s like $70.  crazy, right?  right.  i ask for ridiculously priced stuff all the time, but i never expect to get any of it.  so when i woke up Christmas morning and found that my mom had bought me every single item on that wishlist??!!  i put my head inside the box it all came in and screamed for half a minute.  that is by no means an exaggeration.

since i’m broke these days, i haven’t had any chances to splurge on any new products to review.  when i got this stuff i immediately wanted to run to wash my hair so i could try it out, but since it was Christmas and people would be in my house looking at me within a few hours, i had already washed, conditioned, and detangled the night before.  so i had to wait until it was time to shampoo again (i use a sulfate shampoo about once a week), and then i decided i’d wait another week after putting the new stuff in my hair to do some good observing and see how it performs.  it has been almost 1 week exactly.  reviews commence now!

the booty! (santa's booty not included)

i guess i should start with a quick description of my own hair.  um… it’s large and unruly.  very, very thirsty.  if i typed it right, it’s closer to 3C than anything.. my hair is kind of fine in texture, but large in volume.  the curls are very coily, kind of like a drinking straw-sized straw set.  right now my biggest problems are frizz and moisture retention.. sometimes it’s like no matter what i put in my hair or how much i put in it, even while wet, when it dries it’s like straw.  it responds well to oil and deep conditioning treatments, though, though it’s easy to weigh down sometimes.  i’m still trying to learn how to read it and gauge it’s moods.

my hair on a frizzy-but-not-horrible hair day. dont know what's wrong w/ my left eye, though.

so anyway, what i wanted from this whole curlarita business was a headfull of big, boistrous, well-moisturized looking curls (without them being weighed down).

the naturally curly website descibes the 3C Curlarita as “a heady elixer” that contains the following:

Kinky-Curly Knot Today Leave-In Conditioner and Detangler, “for detangling and further conditioning;”

Wild Woozle Pomade, “for moisture from the roots to the tips of your curls;”

Curl Junkie CoffeeCoco Curl Creme, “for added weight and hold;”

Long Lovely Locks Coco Light, “to reduce frizz and poofing;” and

Blended Beauty Kick for Curls, “to keep the frizz and fuzzy hairlines away.”

it also came with a super wide toothed comb for shower detangling, which i didn’t need because i already have like 100 of them that i don’t use, and a swizzle stick that i don’t have any use for whatsoever.  lol.  it was cute though, i guess.  and since my mom spent like a grillion dollars on all this fun hairtime goodness, they threw in a free bottle of Curl Junkie’s Assurance Leave-In Conditioner.  how sweet are they?!

also included was a ‘recipe card’ which contained instructions and directions for use.  after reading it and seeing that you’re supposed to use EVERYTHING in a single styling session, i kind of scrunched my face up.  once, my ex told me that i put too much stuff in my hair at a time.  i rolled my eyes like ‘whatever, you got a fade.  you don’t know how this works!’  but then i thought about it and figured he had a point.  lol.  i really would prefer my hair care routine be a simple as possible, and i don’t think you really need to put lots of different products in your hair at once, just a couple of good ones.  plus, with my hair it’s easy for me to go overboard and end up looking jheri curl-eqsue and stupid.  so i’m just getting semi-good about paring down my product usage, and here comes this Curlarita telling me to put not two or three but FIVE different somethins in there.  i made this face, but decided to be a good sport about it and give it a go.

i was going to supply the instructions word for word, but it basically says to use the products in this order after washing, conditioning and detangling: Kinky Curly Knot Today Leave-In, Wild Woozle Pomade, Curl Junkie Coffee-Coco Curl Creme, Long Lovely Locks Coco Light, and then once the hair is dry, spray with Blended Beauty Kick for Curls.  this confused me because the order seems a little…. odd.  my routine pretty much consists of leave-in, moisturizer, holding product (holding product optional… holding products usually weigh my hair down, and i don’t mind a little shrinkage, which holding products, for me, prevent).  and i’ve always used pomades as holding products, so i didn’t understand why you’d start with that after a leave-in.  but!  whatever.  this was put together by someone who knows more about hair than i do.  i followed the instructions, though i did go a little easy on the Curl Junkie Coco Coffee Curl Creme stuff since it’s supposed to add weight to hair–my hair responds a little too easily to such products, and i didn’t want to weigh it down too much.  i did use it though!

overall, i was pleased with the outcome of my hair after using aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllll this stuff.  my hair, for some reason, usually looks a bit of a mess the day of a washing.  i don’t know why.  i usually have to sleep on it, wake up, spritz it with water, and give it a good shake before it starts to act right, and after that it usually looks great and will last quite a few days before i have to think about co-washing (which i hate and try not to do) or no-pooing (which i much prefer over co-washing).  so the day after my wash, i was really pleased with what i had.. my curls were well defined and had a good snap to them (pull one, stretch, and let it go and it sproinged right back into place).  and it smelled good which never ever hurts.  and it somehow avoided being super weighed down, which i expected after using so many products at once.  i did notice, though, that by the fourth day my scalp was itching something terrible!!  i think it’s because i usually use coconut oil in my pre-wash, which is really good for dry scalp, but i didn’t do that this time.  that’s probably what it was.  but looking in the mirror after sleeping on my Curlarita-ized hair, i felt like i had found some stuff that definitely worked for me and was pleased.

now here are my findings on the individual products (note:  all but one of these products are listed on the CurlMart website as being silicon free, but the Curl Junkie Coffee-Coco Curl Creme does list dimethicone among its ingredientt):

Kinky-Curly Knot Today Leave-In. i’ve actually used this before, waay way back when i was just beginning to wear my hair natural.  it was one of the first products i splurged on and ordered online, that and the Kinky-Curly Curling Custard (do you ever wonder why all this stuff is always named after food??  curling custard, butter cremes, coffee coco stuff??).  i remembered liking the Knot Today, and used it consistently until i ran out of it, which didn’t take long because it took a LOT of it to detangle my hair (as good a job as it did, i have since found some products that cost less, detangle better, and last longer).  this second time around, i found it very, very difficult to detangle my hair with it.  it could be because i have gotten used to detangling my hair with other products that don’t require me to use as much (mainly Cantu’s leave in conditioning creme… i use it before i wash my hair because it’s full of silicon, but omg detangling is a BREEZE), so i didn’t use a lot of the Knot Today.  i know that i had to detangle twice, though–i used it in place of my Cantu for my pre-wash (usual pre-wash routine: wet hair w/ water bottle, throw in some coconut oil, top with cantu leave-in, detangle and let sit 30 mins) and after the shampoo that follows the prewash, my hair was right back to being  tangled.  i was PISSED.  so i did it again.  it was not an easy time at all.  when i applied it as a leave-in, i noted that it didn’t feel as good and nourishing as my normal leave-in does.

overall, i guess, the Knot Today was cool.  would have been better if i had used more.  smells nice.  works fine, not phenomenal.  probably won’t buy again, but will use if someone gives me a free bottle.  lol

Wild Woozle Pomade. i think this may be my favorite find in the box.  now i was confused, remember, because i thought that pomades were for holding purposes, like gentler, more nourishing versions of gels or holding creams.  when i read the label and saw that it could be used in the hair or on the body, it instantly made me think of Oyin’s Whipped Pudding, which i absolutely love with all my heart.  i was still confused, though, because the pomade, like most/all pomades i have seen, looked waxy in its container, and i don’t know who would want to walk around with big greasy waxy looking skin.  but when i actually rubbed the pomade between my fingers, i understood; it wasn’t waxy or greasy at all… it’s kind of like congealed coconut oil in that it is solid, but gives as you emulsify it, but instead of turning into oil in your hands it just kind of turns into… deliciousness.  lol. it  felt very nourishing and gave me the impression that it coats and moisturizes well.  and i think it did; i really liked the way it felt on my hair when i smoothed it on.  it felt better moisturized instantly, and i feel like this is where the shine i had afterwards came from.  in fact, i’d say it did as good a job as oyin’s whipped pudding (though if forced to choose between the two, i’d probably go with the whipped pudding).

the only drawback here is the smell.  it’s kind of reminiscent of Sister Jenkins sunday morning pastor’s anniversary perfume.  kind of old ladyish.  😦   not quite a must have yet (maybe it will be upon a second usage, though), but i’d definitely buy it again.

Curl Junkie Coffee-Coco Curl Creme. i actually cant’ remember too much about this stuff.  i remember that  didn’t use a lot of it since it’s supposed to add weight, but that’s all i remember. i didn’t think there was really anything really substantial to it or outstanding about it.  it smells pretty good, kind of lightly coconutty with a hint of coffeeness to it, as the title would suggest.  it feels fine.  beyond this i dont know what else to say about it, you know?   it’s just cool for what it is.  it could be that i didn’t use much of it and you just have to use more  to really see what it can do but.  *kanye shrug*

overall, i didn’t feel one way or the other about it, which means there’s little motivation for me to recommend it or to buy it again.

Long Lovely Locks Coco Light. i actually forgot that i liked this stuff until i opened the bottle just now to refresh my memory, lol.  the bottle describes this as an “ultra light hair moisturizing dew,” which is, at the least, very poetic.  while this is not a heavy product, the texture is kind of slick and slippery, which i didn’t expect.  when i think of dew, i think of a light spritzing of water.  water don’t feel like this.  lol.  also, because of the packaging, maybe, i expected something a little like Carol’s Daughter Hair Milk, more lotiony in its texture.  i’m not complaining though; i love the slippery feel and property it adds, especially since this is an organic product.  usually products that feel like this, in my opinion, are loaded with silicons and parabens.  the ingredients in this are simply virgin coconut oil, purified water, glycerine, aloe extract, and a rosemary lavender essential blend.  that’s it!  how yummy is that?!

i can’t really remember what this did for my hair, but to be honest i think that with everything that i put in it that day, it’s tough to discern the effects of one from another. still, i’m willing to give this one a good review because of the potential i think it has based on its texture (i’m interested to see how this will help in a detangling session) and because i’m excited to give it another try with few other products so i can give it a good evaluation.  it smells good, too.  can’t go wrong with coconut!

Blended Beauty Kick for Curls. i was excited to try this because i have to spritz my hair with water every morning to reshape my curls and hair after sleeping on it.  the water works fine because it kind of reactivates whatever products are already in my hair, so it doesn’t look too ashy, but i always thought it would be cool if there was a little extra something i could add to it to kick it up a notch.  tried oil and it didn’t really make a difference since oil and water don’t mix.  i tried rose water once and i thought my hair was going to fall out afterward.. it made it soooo dry for some reason.  so ive been sated with water.  Kick for Curls comes in its own spray bottle, and it looks a little like milk.  texture wise, it is thicker than water, kind of like a thin serum.  it has a sweet almond smell which i love love love.  i sprayed some on my hand and rubbed it in and it made the skin there really soft.  extra excite!

i used this in place of my uaual boring old water bottle the morning after i washed and used all of the other Curlarita stuff.  it hit my hair and just kind of…. sat there.  it looked like a bird had some bad mexican food and took its morning after anger out on my head.  the bottle says to spray and scrunch gently, but even then i found it hard to get some absorption going.  eventually i got all the little white beads to disappear, but after all the scrunching i had to do to get that to happen, i felt like i had a lot of extra frizz that i otherwise would not have had.  because of this, i think, my results weren’t as stellar as they are when i just use water–with water, i just spray a few times, give a squeeze or two with my hands, and then let the water do its thing.  this kick for curls stuff requires a lot more work for my hair.  i feel like it wouldn’t be so bad for someone with curls looser than mine.

instead of spraying the kick for curls directly from its bottle into my hair, i got the idea to instead add a little bit of the kick for curls to my regular old water bottle in hopes that the water would help carry the kick stuff through and into my hair better.  the good news is that when i spray the kick/water mix in my hair, there are no more little white beads and i don’t have to scrunch like crazy to work it in there.  and it also makes my hair smell really, really good.  the bad news is that other than that, i really don’t know what this does for my hair that regular old water doesn’t do. the bottle also mentions that it can be used for detangling, though; i’ll try that out next.  until then, i’ll say that the Kick for Curls didn’t leave a lasting impression other than a yummy scent.  i wouldn’t buy it for myself or recommend it to anyone with hair like mine.  far more economical to just use water and let that awaken whatever is already in your hair.

overall, would i suggest the Curlarita to other 3C curlies?  if you can afford it, yes.  not necessarily because there are any must-have products in this kit, but because… why not?!  lol it’s fun!  it’s always exciting trying out new products, and if you can afford to splurge, by all means, DO IT.  there’s nothing in the kit that i hated or thought was going to make my hair fall out.  i’ll definitely use them all again since i have them.  and finding one or two products that i’d actually buy again myself was the icing on the cake.  i had a ball with this stuff, and since i still have more experimenting to do, there’s still more fun to be had 🙂

if u can’t afford it though?  there’s no need to sell yourself or your children or steal from the 1st Corinthian Leather Baptist Church’s building fund to get it.  truth told, there are likely other products out there (some you can probably find in your own kitchen) that are less expensive that can do what these products do.  the trial in that though is finding them.

but if you can afford it, man, go in!  they make excellent gifts–i can testify to that!  halleluja this evenin!

THE END!  we did it!  go forth and get your hair together!!

OH WAIT DON’T LEAVE YET!!  let’s chit chat first! if anyone has any questions about any of this stuff, or if anyone has used any of these products, i’d LOVE to hear how they worked/didnt work for you.  i’d also love to know what you ARE using in your hair and how that’s working for you.  got any tips?  need some tips?  need other suggestions?  ask ask ask!  share share share!

16 responses to “hair stuff!’s Curlarita: a review

  1. Ok Brokey.
    I’ll bite on this one. But I got a real problem that comes first. Just HOW do I convince my girls that their natural hair IS beautiful?
    I’m at a lose (culturally, lol?) on all the staightin’, flat-ironin’, torturing and breaking off all that wonderful tight/curly/nappy stuff (did white guy just say “nappy”?! Get out the flamethrowers!). I’d even secrectly like to save all that money and time (ever waited 5 hours(!) in a beauty shop, waiting for your daughter to get her hair done?!) I’ve watched float away at beauty shops.
    So, since you decided to buck community/A/A woman hair standards (and look Great doing it, uh, minus the smiley face, lol), how did you get your brain around it all?
    I need some extra “tools” to convince the girls to let their natural beauty rock this world.

    • hmm. well, mr. whitefolks. this is a difficult task that i’m currently trying to pull off with my 16 year old niece, who wants to go natural because her dad has “good hair” (her words) and she thinks she does too underneath the perm, and also wears green colored contacts. i’m praying she’ll grow out of it, and i think there’s a good chance she will. i don’t know how old your girls are or where yall live/what the demographics there are like (feel free to supply such info at will), but i kind of think that it’s hard to do this with girls of a certain age, because at a certain age, all you want to do is fit in, and when everyone else around you is straight, you certainly don’t want to be the only one who isn’t, you know?

      to tell you the truth, i didn’t find the courage to go natural until i was living in philly where being natural was a normal, uneventful thing. the more i saw it, the more normalized it became, and the more comfortable i was with chopping my hair off. i was also motivated by the ridiculous cost of a perm up there.. sheesh!

      i think the best course of action is to challenge their current belief systems. ask them how they’d feel about not perming their hair anymore and what they think of natural hair. if the answer is ‘ugh, that’s ugly!’ ask them why. when the response is ‘because! straight hair is prettier!’ ask them why. i think eventually it will come to a matter of ‘because it just is’ or ‘because that’s just what i think’ or ‘because everyone else does’ or something like that.

      when/if it comes to this, you could posit your own theory and have them think about it. ‘you know what i think? i think that most people think that straight hair is prettier than natural hair because…’ and here insert, in whatever age-appropriate terms you can use, the whole western standard of beauty thing. tie it into their history as americans/western citizens (assuming that they are?). ask them how they feel about that, ask them if it makes sense, etc.

      above all, though, you’ll want to stress that hair is just hair, and it is *not* what makes them pretty or ugly; it’s not what makes them or anyone else good people. it’s just hair. the important thing isn’t to be accepted by the world around you, but to accept yourself for who and what you are, naturally.

      also, show them some pictures of beautiful women with natural hair…there’s plenty of them to be found on the internet. maybe they just dont know that its possible to have natural hair and be a bombshell simultaneously. visuals help!

      now, notice that i didn’t suggest telling them that perms are bad for their hair or damaging or anything like that. i personally don’t believe that this is true, or that perming one’s hair is bad or indicative of self-hate or anything like that. you can have healthy permed hair (my shit was LAID. i looked like a dark and lovely commercial when i was perming, straight up lol) just as easily as u can have unhealthy natural hair. i really do believe that hair is just hair, no matter how u rock it. what’s more important is what’s going on UNDER the scalp, and that’s why i think it’s best to start with challenging the beliefs and notions they have swimming around up there.

      also, be patient. it could be something they’re just not ready to receive yet. self acceptance isnt always the hardest thing, even for grown ass adults.

      talking and open dialogue is best. do you personally know any women with natural hair that they could direct their questions to? maybe they’d be more likely to listen to a woman than a silly ol know-nothing boy. lol i think u can manage tho. good luck and keep me posted!! 🙂

    • Wow Ms. Brokey! You sure know how to answer a question. Communicating is not a problem for you, right? And that’s a good thing, lol!

      Now, first, Thanks! Especially for what you DIDN’T say! You stayed nice and realistic and didn’t go all “social/political” on me about some “Issue”, lol. I get too much of that anyway, lol.

      I really appreciate the “Confirm”, from an A/A woman, that it’s really just mostly normal teenage girl-stuff (which is a very problematic area for me to understand, LOL!), wanting to fit in, look ‘cool and hip’ and other usual, normal teenage peer-pressure stuff. I don’t think there is any type of “Deep Thought” about much of this at their ages. I know I worry about social pressure and accepted norms some, but I think we’ve enough of a healthy family life that they’ll come into their own properly on these things; without Dad forcing something on them.

      About talking with them about such things? Of course! We’ve a really good relationship, including communicating. But … it trends to go nowhere for me on matters of style, dress, hair, etc. And why not? I’m pretty clueless, lol! So, discussions about the unique beauty of African traits goes like this (paraphrasing here) Me – “You know, your own, God-given hair looks pretty too” – “Right Dad, gonna have us looking like Ugandan chicks, right?” – (Me) “And what’s wrong with that? They’re beautiful too!” – all followed by peels of laughter and lots of “Dad” jokes – “Yep Dad. We gotcha. We know You! If she’s ultra dark, skinny and totally broke, we know you’re asking her out, Fer Sur!” (Falling on the floor hilarity proceeds and more jokes forthcoming). I then give up, because my forward momentum is killed dead (and I’m laughing too at this point, knowing they know their Dad’s “obsessions”). I straddle a lot of unknown here, so I probably just worry too much about their inner development.

      Now, about the niece, “good hair” and green contacts … a big LOL! I’m like Totally there. The whole “lite-skinnet/good hair” thing (which, as a 2520, I’m of course not to know about or comment on) is what they got Goin’ On, lol! I’ve been on that one. When the youngest got me to relent and go for contacts, it was the same “Daddy (all sweet-sugar and spice little girl), how about GREEN?” I stopped that ‘ish right there. Simply refused to open the wallet on that one (isn’t economic superiority great?) – “Your nice, pretty brown eyes is all yer getting’ girl!” (Sulk in the car going home). Yep.
      The things I’ve learned in life, lol!

      We WON’T get into my oldest son’s ‘fro and his refusal to cut that bush down, lol! Bees will be makin’ a nest in it soon …

      • lol. blame it on my inner English major. i go crazy with the words sometimes.

        but yeah. i think i may be a bit of a special case maybe, because back when i was still perming my hair, i was bombarded and harassed by a few particular people about what i chose to do with my own hair, and i really resented it. when you tell me that i’m perming my hair because i dont know any better or because i hate myself, i reaaaaallly take offense. it really insulted my intelligence because these people were assuming some really incorrect things about me, mainly that i don’t know anything about my own history and that i’m a slave to my ignorance. it totally cancels out any possibility of me having the capacity and complexity (if such is needed) to know all that and be able to render what i do to my hair now a simple matter of cosmetics and aesthetics. and that’s all it is. i went natural because i wanted a new look, not because i was breaking any chains of slavery and ignorance, you know? those who will tell you that you’re not black enough are just the opposite end of the spectrum that tells black people everyday that they’re not white enough. at the end of the day, your dreadlocks don’t make you any more ready for the revolution than my long luscious chemically altered ponytail does. lol. so that’s why today i’m careful not to try to imply any of that. i love healthy hair, period, permed or unpermed.

        that being said, though, i do think it all comes from a fairly tragic history which does bear retelling to young people who may not know, but to educate and prepare them to make a good decision on what they want to do with their hair once they’re in a position to do so. i definitely think you should tell your girls, if they don’t know it already, look, this is why black women began straightening their hair…back then straight hair was seen as more beautiful because blah blah blah blah. there’s a chance they may hear that, believe it and understand it, and still not be able to stop perming because of their age. but yknow, maybe they will. at the very least, once they’ve come into their own, they’ll have that information and be able to maybe use it as a reason to stop perming, should they ever want to do so.

        even though i didn’t go natural in an effort to be my own natural self, it definitely helped me accept myself more. like hey….this is alright. i’m cute no matter what’s on top of my head, lol. and when i moved back home, it forced me to be even more secure in myself, because i assumed that the natural hair thing hadn’t hit there yet (i always felt kentucky to be really homogenous and resistant to change). thankfully, i was wrong, and i’ll be blogging about that later, but i had to ready myself to potentially be the only fuzzy head in a sea of straightness, and that took a lot of self assurance that i otherwise wouldn’t have found had i not gone natural. an excellent by-product 🙂

        have u ever talked about it with them from a historical standpoint? if so, how did that go? i tried with my niece. she was unmoved. lol 😦

  2. First of all, your mom is the best!

    I just got my big chop a week and some change ago, then got braids like 30 mins after to stall for more time while I get my product arsenal together. I’m trying hard not to turn into a product junkie, but it seems inevitable. Ideally, I’d find my holy grails and stick with them, but what’s the fun in that?! If I read correctly, Oyin, Giovanni, Cantu and the Wild Woozle stuff are the gold standards. Oh, and coconut oil. **feverishly taking notes** Thanks so much for sharing this!

    • woooo congrats on the choppy chop!! how did u feel afterward? scared? regretful? excited??

      i think product junkiness is just part of the package. lol. for me i felt this freedom of being able to maniuplate my hair whenever i wanted to.. no more having to keep my head out of the water then i showered, no having to wait 2-3 weeks to wash. it just creates an environment perfect for trying out 400 different products a week, lol.

      are you gonna be one of those no-silicon/natural ingredients only naturals?? if not, DEFINITELY try out that cantu leave-in. and even if u are, i highly suggest making it part of your pre-wash routine. that stuff has got black magic in it, i swear to bob. i wish i would have known about it sooner.

      i also don’t know anyone who doesn’t love oyin’s honey hemp conditioner. the only reason i’m not using it now is because it’s a humectant (it pulls water into the hair from the air around it), and ive always heard that in the drier winter months, humectants do the OPPOSITE, expelling water out of the hair into the air around it, making your hair drier than it needs to be (i dont know why).

      and the giovanni leave in is just the bees knees.

      i think those three are the closest things ive found to the holy grail of hair stuff. lol

      good luck and have fun and keep me posted!!!

    • Hey KindredSmile!
      Funny to run into you here. Which means one (or more) of 3 things:

      You get bored with your career at times too, and Ms. Brokey gives us some mental diversion.

      You have the same sense of humor as myself, and find Ms. Brokey hilarious.


      You e-stalkin’ me girl! ‘Cause I was here First! (Sticks tongue out – Phtttttttttttttt!).

      (Personally, I like the last one best. At least one girl got some interest in me. Even if it’s only in my imagination – can we all sing The Temptations now?)

  3. I have LOVED every minute of this thread and Ms. McPoverty, you have some LOVELY hair!

    Now as for me, myself, (sorry, I’m listening to Beyonce’s “Ego”)…. My hair does not have the curl definition that yours has or I’d be completely natural. As it is, I put a “Just for Me” texturizer in it, throw on a wig/hairpiece and keep it pushin’. If not for the texturizer, my hair would push the wig OFF (horribly embarrassing story around that). So I envy you your curls. I have been known to keep spare change in my hair. My hair breaks combs on the regular. THAT’S how thick and unruly it is.

    But as I’m getting older, I’ve begun to truly appreciate my hair. No longer am I striving to have the “bone straightest” hair I can achieve. I’ve come to a place where I know that not everyone has straight hair and doesn’t have to. Even when I put on a wig, it’s not straight anymore. The wig is just an expression of my style. I chose an outfit, I chose some earrings, I chose a hairstyle. Period.

    Lite Bread, here’s hoping your girls will realize their true beauty– it’s not in the hair, or the eye color or any of that other stuff that girls are bombarded with. I’m sure they’ll figure it out. And you’re an awesome dad for keeping an eye out for them.

    Ooops, was this a dissertation? Sorry. 🙂

    • aw, thanks ma’am! 🙂 and i think its awesome that youre coming to a place/point of appreciation of what you have and what you were given. i think that’s really the important thing. people ascribe too much to their hair..i dont think not being a hair slave necessarily means not straightening it anymore. for me, it just means being happy with what you have, period. what you choose to do with it beyond that–braid it up, put a wig on it, whatever–is up to you. you like it, i love it.

      and i cant see too well what’s goin on in that gravatar, but it looks like whatever it is is workin for u! 🙂

  4. Ms. Brokey.
    Have I ever talked about the historical background about some of these things? Sure. And I get the same response as your niece, lol, unmoved most of the time.

    Now, there is a funny difference for me doing this than you. Picture the scene: 2520 Dad, bunch of ‘brownie’ kids, and I’M gonna give ‘em a piece of their “black history”. They’re pretty respectful kids (I raise ‘em that way!), but they just can’t resist, and I can’t blame them. The jokes do get good – “Daddy, did Great-Gram-mama give YOU the Oral History? Brrraawwww” – “You been in school in February, during Black History month too? Brraawwww” – “What HBCU was that you went too again? Find a GIRL there, did ya, Dad? Was she, like BLACK? Brraaawwww”

    Problem is Ms. Brokey, the relevance of History doesn’t always mean some direct relationship to present-day life-situations. Essential background understanding? Absolutely! Change-my-life-right-now-over-it? Maybe not so much, eh? And the younger you are, the less important it’ll seem anyway the farther you are from it. Discussing Emmett Till, in say 1956 was totally, everyday relevant. Today, its part of ugly history, not something daily-life relevant.
    Maybe it IS my white privilege influence, but they don’t feel like they must be totally chained to history to make their personal decisions in life. It’s a different world now (Note: I didn’t say “post-racial”, just different, OK?). They don’t feel so bound by the past; they only have to negotiate the different present. Yes, they do self-identify as “black’, but their definition of that one will probably be very different from an HU grad, lol.

    May I ask about why your niece was unmoved? Similar reasons? Or completely different?

    And Dactylologist? I’m just tryin’ my hardest, that’s all. For them. Because I really do love them so much.

    • yeah, that’s a good point. sometimes i forget that im 27 and the generation beneath me is all reading and writing and thinking for themselves and forming a completely new identity (translation: im gettin old). times have changed and things are different. i think my niece’s response is similar to your girls, she sees and understands the relevance, but it’s not going much farther than that recognition so far. she’s a very smart girl, and is beginning to learn about her sex and race and how they can/will affect her and all that jazz, so i know she gets it, and maybe in the future will consider all of it more, but right now she just can’t. she’s almost 17 and doesn’t want to go against the grain. plus, when she did try to grow her perm out (for all of 3 weeks, lol), she broke down and got a perm because her hairdresser told her that her hair was going to fall out if she didnt.


      i started to get really mad, but i know it’s just an issue of ignorance and not understanding how hair works and how to transition and all that but i mean sheesh. how can you compete with a licensed beautician telling a kid her hair’s gonna fall out? and what kid wants her hair to fall out?? lol. i told her that her hair is NOT going to fall out, and pointed to the fact that clearly mine didnt–i had long hair all through my transition until i willingly cut it myself. but that really got her spooked. she’ll need lots of education on exactly how to transition, which i told her i’d give her when she’s ready.

      but right now she’s scared of being baldheaded. lol

      i think now it’s just a matter of waiting, growing, learning, and maturing for her. i think it’ll come. and for your girls, too! how old are they, may i ask?

  5. Hah! Thanks. That gravatar represents an experiment. I set my shoulder-length hair on perm rods thinking I would see what ringlets would look like. Trouble was, the rods were too small for my hair length and I ended up with tight, “sproingy” curls like Annie mated with Buckwheat. Not what I was going for exactly, but eh… it was worth a shot. 🙂

  6. Hey Brokey! We have a similar hair type except I think mine is maybe a little thicker judging fro your description. I am trying to get away from so many chemicals in my products, and I found that after I abandoned some of the wacktacious products I was using and going the route of items in my kitchen I saw a big change. By far my biggest problem is dryness and tangles more intricate than the rain forest.

    And ooh lord I feel you about not wanting to cowash/no-poo too often, it is nerve wrecking. Curl hair is hard work! I swear I rock a twistout until it is on its last legs…

    I have been perusing a lot of sites as of late to try to figure out a hair routine for myself… wish me luck, LOL!

  7. Ms. Brokey,
    Right in the exact same age-spread; they range from early teen to late teen. In fact one is 17 also!

    I’m an ‘old fart’.

    Again, Thanks for the respectful answers.

  8. No “After” photo?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s