hey. see that up there? do you know what that is?
that is a Chicken Little. if you don’t know what i’m talkin about, then it’s sad times for you because they’re extinct. and here’s why you should be outraged:
BECAUSE THEY WERE FUCKING DELICIOUS AND I DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW THEY DID IT!!
i swear to you, all they were was a little piece of chicken, mayonnaise, and a bun. not even like a fancy bun. like a king’s hawaiian sweet bun. why? why should something so little, so simple, be so delicious? i have no idea. and now they’re gone.
i have never, for the life of me, figured out why they stopped making and serving chicken littles. i don’t think i had one beyond like, middle school. and i’m ready to say enough is enough–stop playin around and put some damn Chicken Littles on the dollar menu.
and it’s not just me! right now, at least 916 people feel the same way and have signed an online petition to get them back in restaurants. will you be number 917? are you here today? won’t you come? they’re calling you! Chicken Littles are calling you!! heed that call! answer that door! they’re knocking! they’re knocking in the door to your soul this evening! answer that call! *passes collection plate*
i’m seriously making this my new mission. anybody out there know how to get in touch with stephen colbert? i KNOW he could make this happen.
EMAIL THIS TO EVERYBODY! I TOTALLY MEAN IT!!
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