it’s B. McP’s black history month extravaganza!

yes yes yall. its that time again–time to learn about how martin luther king and rosa parks invented peanut butter, died for our sins, and saved the black race by writing ‘we shall overcome’ when they were resurrected on the 7th day.

or, if you’re me, its time to correct your nieces and nephews when they come home with the tall black history month tales they’ll learn in school everyday, like how Lincoln freed the slaves and all that jazz. as your resident conspiracy theorist, i have decided to dedicate myself to sharing with you guys the same truths that i share with my babies. it’s the least i can do–the world really needs to know the truth.

so im cookin up a black history month menu fit to feed an army of al sharptons. im talkin features such as interviews with the people (and facial accessories) closest to our favorite black celebrities; diatribes on the most unknown black history month heroes (ie – Burnita Smith-Jones, inventor of putting foil on the ends of little girls’ braids to keep the beads from falling off); and something im very, very excited about, ‘Rap/RnB Songs that Nobody Remembers but Me.’

im pretty excited. the truth kind of does that to me, and i cant wait to serve yall up a big helping of it. we can start with a trip to PostBourgie, where throughout the month, i’ll be contributing a little-known black history fact for the masses. for example- i bet u didnt know this abt Whoopi Goldberg:

Born Caryn Elaine Johnson in 1955, Whoopi Goldberg rose to fame in the acting world, becoming the second back woman to win an Academy Award for her role in the 1975 blackploitation film “Blackface Jones and the Temple of Jive.” After beating pinkytoe cancer in 1963, Goldberg established Brows(e) for a Cure, an organization that encourages people to donate their eyebrows to make wigs for others battling the disease. She continues to donate to this day.

milky baths are great for pinkytoe cancer!

now if that aint some delicious shit, i dont know what is.

happy black history month, yall. ashe.